Red Planet This movie ate my balls. No really, I used to have balls until I saw this movie, and then some killer robot ate them. Oh sure, in the past few days I have witnessed such horrors as Bruce Lee's "Fist of Fear, Touch of Death," and Jackie Chan's "Young Tiger," but those movies really had no chance. They were low-budget, poorly-acted affairs.

Red Planet, however, had everything going for it: big budget, good actors, Carrie-Anne Moss's buttocks, and all the possibilities of Mars.

What we did we get? Add one part "killer robot" flick, one part murder mystry (with no mystery), one part "Castaway," one part "Alien," a sparkling of Earth Two or "Lost in Space," and mix in all the BAD parts of 2001 and 2010 and you have this movie.

What "Red Planet" really tells me is that making a movie script by committee is not a good idea. I know for a fact that some a55h0l3 producer at one point said, "you know this movie isn't exciting, let's add a KILLER ROBOT."

Luckly I did not pay for the DVD, nor the movie. The entertainment value of sitting around with friends saying, "There is no way that she could catch him while she is going 100s of kilometers an hour" was almost worth the pain.

Although maybe I should have been doing something more productive, like reading or draining my spleen.

-- by Engel Posted by Arcterex at June 21, 2001 04:32 PM