This movie ate my balls. No really, I used to have
balls until I saw this movie, and then some killer
robot ate them. Oh sure, in the past few days I have
witnessed such horrors as Bruce Lee's "Fist of Fear,
Touch of Death," and Jackie Chan's "Young Tiger," but
those movies really had no chance. They were
low-budget, poorly-acted affairs.
Red Planet, however, had everything going for it: big
budget, good actors, Carrie-Anne Moss's buttocks, and
all the possibilities of Mars.
What we did we get? Add one part "killer robot"
flick, one part murder mystry (with no mystery), one
part "Castaway," one part "Alien," a sparkling of
Earth Two or "Lost in Space," and mix in all the BAD
parts of 2001 and 2010 and you have this movie.
What "Red Planet" really tells me is that making a
movie script by committee is not a good idea. I know
for a fact that some a55h0l3 producer at one point
said, "you know this movie isn't exciting, let's add a
Luckly I did not pay for the DVD, nor the movie. The
entertainment value of sitting around with friends
saying, "There is no way that she could catch him
while she is going 100s of kilometers an hour" was
almost worth the pain.
Although maybe I should have been doing something more
productive, like reading or draining my spleen.
-- by Engel
Posted by Arcterex at June 21, 2001 04:32 PM