May 17, 2002
Episode II Misc

A la trainspotting/adminspotting, we have jedispotting. Read on, but be warned, it has some dirty words... (Original link here)

Choose Life. Choose a Master. Choose a Lightsaber. Choose a Clone Army. Choose a fucking big holo-projector, choose sonic showers, land-speeders, and electrical R2-D2 openers. Choose good health, low midichlorians, and blaster insurance. Choose fixed interest moisture farm repayments. Choose a starter smuggling ship. Choose your Jedi. Choose robes and matching sandals. Choose a three-piece body armor on hire purchase in a range of fucking alloys. Choose sitting on that Bantha-hide chair and watching mind-numbing, chain choaking slave girls, stuffing fucking slimy worms into your mouth. Choose rotting away in the belly of the Sarlack, pishing your last in a miserable home, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked up aprentices you spawned to kill all your breathren and take over the galaxy.

Or another vesion:

Choose the force. Choose a lightsaber. Choose a career as a Jedi. Choose no family. Choose a fucking big space cruiser. Choose washing droids, speeders, death star plans and blasters ..... Choose DIY and wondering who the fuck you are on a Sunday morning. Choose sitting in that cantina watching mind numbing, spirit crushing cantina bands, stuffing junk food into your mouth. Choose rotting away at the end of it all, pissing your last on miserable Tattoine, nothing more than an embarrassment to the selfish, fucked-up Anakin you trained to replace yourself. Choose your future. Choose to defend the Republic..... But why would I want to do a thing like that?

Posted by Arcterex at May 17, 2002 05:41 PM