Why Accordion Guy is Called "Stagett" A great story from Accordion Guy's archive is that of the time he played a stagette. Great stuff.

Banner Ads We'd Like to See Yup, some of these Banner Ads We'd Like To See are more truth than fiction.

Nasty Stories From Fast Food Joints Fark asks the question What's the worst thing that ever happened to you at a fast-food restaurant? Some quite discusting, disturbing, and funny as hell responses, in true fark style. Not for the weak stomached.

Dealing with Corporations Derek has a great story about dealing with mis-placed calls from a loan collection agency. I don't hold out hope that things will get fixed for him tomorrow, but it's a great story!

Fun and Interesting Facts Fun_Pad passed on some amusing facts for you to use to show your knowledge of the world around the watercooler this Friday.

• A Goldfish's attention span is three seconds.
• Animals that lay eggs don't have belly buttons.
• Slugs have 4 noses.
• Camels have 3 eyelids.
• Mosquitos are attracted to people who just ate bananas.
• Children grow faster in the spring.
• Almonds are part of the peach family.
• A hummingbird weighs less than a penny.
• The only food that does not spoil is honey.
• Chewing gum while peeling onions will prevent you from crying.
• There are one million ants to every human in the world.
• If you keep a goldfish in a dark room it will eventually turn white.
• Elephants only sleep 2 hours a day.
• A snail breathes through it's foot.
• Fish cough.
• Frogs cannot swallow with their eyes open.
• The bullfrog is the only animal that never sleeps.
• Elephants are capable of swimming 20 miles per day.
• Mosquitos have 47 teeth.
• 11% of people in the world are lefthanded.
• A human brain weighs about 3 lbs.
• A tongue is the fastest healing part of the body.
• Strawberries contain more Vitamin C than Oranges.
• There is a town called "Big Ugly" in West Virginia.
• You share your birthday with 9 million others in the world.
• The average person spends 2 years on the phone in his/her lifetime.
• The average person spends 2 weeks of it's life waiting for a traffic light to change.
• Googol is a number (1 followed by 100 zeros).
• Oysters can change genders back and forth.
• Squids can have eyeballs the size of volleyballs.
• In a year, the average person walks 4 miles making their bed.
• When the moon is directly over you, you weigh less.
• You burn more calories sleeping than watching TV.
• A "jiffy" is actually 1/100 of a second.
• The lifespan of a tastebud is 10 days.
• A ball of glass will bounce higher than a ball of rubber.
• 1/4 of the bones in your body are in your feet.

Get your Ink Refills from Real Monks LaserMonks is a group of real monks who sell laser printer and inkjet and other imaging supplies.

Not sure what to say. I can't say I've seen stranger things, but I have seen things as strange. Seems pretty cool though, as long as they aren't responsible for my laser printer spam of course. If you can't trust monks, who can you trust? I guess their tagline says it all.

We put our clients first, really!
After all, we're monks, really!

UFies.org Unscheduled Reboot Yea, it's time to reset those uptime counters again. An unamed-to-protect-the-experienced sysadmin forgot that this box is plugged into the same UPS as his, and well, anyway. We encountered a bit of downtime as some inodes needed a smack in the butt to get the box up again.

Everything is fine now. It's all ok. We're all fine here.

On the upside, I finally got a chance to put the new kernel options to access the the extra gig of ram I have had sitting unused. Fred will be happy about that :)

Remix of the Free Software Song jwz notes that there is now another remix of the famous RMS free software song. He also has a link to an earlier techno version.

Paul Was Replaced Apparently Paul Really is dead and has been replaced with a lookalike. Everyone got their tinfoil hats on? Good.... please turn the page....

Numbers that Control Your Life Unique ID - The numbers that control your life. Thanks Foot_Note.

Confessions of a Used Car Salesman Confessions of a Car Salesman is a 8 part article written by a journalist posing as used car salesman. From hiring onward he records the ins and outs of what happens at the dealership when you go there. How many of the stories about used car salesmen are true? Great read. Via fark.

"Good penmanship is essential," he said. "This makes it harder for them to negotiate. "You're saying, 'Mr. Customer, if you want our beautiful new car, this is the price you're going to have to pay.'"
...
"When you negotiate, this sheet should be covered with numbers," Michael said. "It should be like a battleground. And I don't want to see the price dropping five hundred dollars at a pop. Come down slowly, slowly. Here I'll show you how."

Slogans You Want to See Raskal found some great billboard slogans that you know should exist. Thanks dude!

Open Letter to SCO from ESR This open letter to Darl McBride of SCO from ESR sums up a lot of people's feelings, and is as usual, a well written article well worth reading.

Weapons of Mass Destruction The Game 'Yes, we have no weapons of mass destruction' game! is fantastic and fun! Via bree.

Wesley Willis Dead at Age 40 Sad that such a great talent would be taken from us so young. Goodbye Wesley.

All About Porkins The All New Porkins Home Page has everything you could ever want to know about Jek Porkins, the silent star of Star Wars IV, A New Hope. Actually it has far more than is possible for someone, however famous, with that little time onscreen :)

New Longhorn Screen Shots? Wow, the direction is certainly not going toward simpler to use! This is from Paul Thurrott's site with some shots he says are from the new Longhorn (Windows 2003(2004?)(2005?)) interface. Scoble says that they are early demo screens however, and not the real "Aero" interface, which is one of Microsoft's biggest secrets.

Personally they have the "ooh! cool!" look, but in reality, would I want my grandmother trying to use something that needs this many lines explaining what it is? I wonder why they aren't moving towards a more simplistic and easier to understand look? (from XvsXP's discussion on the dock icons vs the taskbar icons). Do you really need this wide a control to indicate the volume level?

SWAT Hand Signals [fark] The unconventional guide to SWAT hand signals. I'll have to look for more of these in the movies :)

Mac People It appears that mac people are crazy, and apparently a dual 1G G4 isn't good enough when the G5s are calling.

They are sexy, but mac-mike needs to a hold on himself! (Not in that way you perverts!) Wish I could justify buying a new mac.

Recall Microsoft Forget California, it's time to recall Microsoft is an interesting article on why we shouldn't put up with this lack of security crap from the company that "owns" 90% of the the desktops in the world. Linked from scoble.

Warning Puns Ahead So many bad puns and so little time. Thanks to eclecticism (how the hell do you pronounce that?) for these.

Rebuttle to "Bowling for Columbine" Critique Interesting article over at K5 - A defense of Michael Moore and "Bowling for Columbine"

Homebrew Computer Club Homebrew Computer Club memories. Via scoble.

Why iD Software Rocks Yea yea, more Doom 3 stuff. Anyway, some notes from the quakecon keynote. In there this is the reason why idsoftware kicks complete and total ass (other than their fine games of course):

Hollenshead said he was not worried about other highly anticipated games like Half-Life 2 and Halo 2 taking away some of Doom III�s thunder, saying, �We don�t need other games to suck for ours to be good.�

That's classy.

The BOFH of the Tattoo World This Disgruntled Asian Tattoo Artist sounds like a real BOFH. Hilarious story, linked to from the comments on this story on littleyellowdifferent.com, a hilarious blog. Hit some of the other links in the LYD story, lots of good stuff there as well.

Another iMac Desk The iGo doesn't look any better, but at least this one looks like an alien landing pod. Hmmm... maybe that's not such a good thing after all.

iMac Desk The BBC has a feature on an iMac desk, designed for the iMac and with all the wiring built in. Looks pretty funky and futuristic, but where do I put down my manual or book? As there is room for nothing more than the computer, it's definately (for me anyway) a beautiful but useless thing. Hell, you don't even have a place to put down a drink! Via macslash.

Doom 3 Multiplayer Shots Oooooh! Doom 3 multiplayer shots via shacknews. Course, they aren't loading for me. Hopefully you guys will have more luck.

Doom 3 Preview DOOM III Preview. Looks delicious!

Making Your own Pan Galactic Gargel Blaster Listening to Resteraunt at the End of the Universe on audiobook inspired me to throw up a link to the Pan Galactic Gargle Blaster on E2. A bit down the page you'll find someone's instructions for making your own. Anyone want to give it a shot? :)

Funnies Some funny and random stuff from graham fisk.

The Power of the Airbrush Greg's Digital Archive has a good set of images of a lovely retouched lady in a bikini, with the added bonus that the originals look just fine, and (IMHO) far better than the retouched version (I don't like plastic looking women). This link via Lying Media Bastards making the point that girls, we (as men) very seldom find any set of breasts unappealing, so rest easy. He says it better though :)

High Speed Rubik's Cube Holy Speeeeed Batman! This guy with the cube is fast.

Programmer or Serial Killer This quiz, sent over by BSpudd is to test if you can tell from a picture who is a serial killer and who is a technologist or language inventor. I got 7/10. How did you do?

Worst Car of the Millennium What is the Worst Car of the Millennium? Thanks Foot_Note for the answer!

Perl Vs. Python Accordion Guy has some good flamewar tinder but my favorite part is the Star Wars Perl vs Python parody. If I had time and talent I'd re-write it from the opposite view, being the perl bitch I am :)

Windows 95 in Under 5mb Cool, someone boiled Windows 95 down to less than 5 megs. Not a whole lot in there, but it has a command prompt, solitaire, and registry editing. Very cool. Kinda pointless, but cool.

Evil Dialog Boxes Ian writes: "I did this parody of unclear communication - as often found in Windows alert boxes and the like. I wondered if your site visitors might want to have a giggle at it. I was reminded of it when I was reading that font dialog letter.

http://www.trepanning.tv/immigration/pillar.htm

Love the ufies site."

More Illegal Cuteness Blame Foot_note for all these cute pictures of cats and kittens.

UI Power Tips Some nifty windwos power ui tips that sound like they make it all a little bit more bearable.

Kittens Kittens should be illegal. No really, far too cute.

Interesting Ad This video is most likely not safe for work, but interesting looking nonetheless. "Satisfaction" never sounded looked so good! Thanks Silverstr.

Newspaper Ad A funny newspaper ad for a programming job thrown via BSpudd. My favorite part: "Smokers are welcome and will be introduced to the ancient art of keel-hauling".

Apple Tattoos Lots of nutty mac folks and their tattoos. Some towards the bottom not so safe for work if you work in a nunnery, but nothing really too bad.