Exit Wounds Exit Wounds is the new Segal flick. He seems to have been out of the action for a while now, but rumor has it that this made #1 at the box office this weekend. I'm not sure if that was completely deserved, but then again, looking at the crap that's out there, I can't say I'm completely surprised :) This may contain spoilers!!! I'll try make the font white so that you have to select text to see it (probably all at the bottom). Just a warning.

This was a typical Segal movie. Turn your brain off for a couple of hours and watch the ass kicking ensue. This was also definately rated 18a. Now don't get me wrong, I appreciate T & A & PLLSIGB (Pseudo Lesbian Love Scenes In Glass Booths), but sometimes it's just sort of unwarrented. The naked (or almost naked) women that were seen here didn't seem to be there for any specific reason other than to throw nipples into your face. The scenes they used could have been very easily done elsewhere. There were a few deaths that were pretty gross as well, people being impaled on pipes and whatnot. Pretty graphic but nothing we haven't seen before.

But enough of that. The show was all about police curruption, trust, and investigating ones own. Go figure there were a few "ah ha, I'm not who you thought I was!" moments. Some were almost a semi-surprise as well. Segal kicked some serious ass, with a lot of very funny bits thrown in. I especially like him pretending to help the car theives and saying "I bet I can get in there in the blink of an eye..." [holds up alarm remote] "beep-bwoop" [cock, signature Segal half smile].

There was a nice side part played by Tom Arnold, who much as I resent simply for that whole Rosanne Barr thing, is quite a funny actor. More on this in a few. Anthony Anderson ("Maurice" in Romeo Must Die) was also in there playing basically the same part (again, well). The rest of the characters did what they had to do, without standing out that much, or getting a huge amount of screen time. There was a rapper or two, and some guys with weird names like BMX (or is it DMX?).

So it's basically a normal Segal action movie, with one caveat. The end. You must stay for the ending credits. Remember A Bugs Life where they had the bloopers? Well, this was better. Tom Arnold played a character with a tv show, and he and the maurice guy got togeather at the end as co-hosts and talked about stuff, sort of like ophra and her female friends do when they get togeather and shoot the shit, but no hold barred and hilarious. They talked about everything from like fat women, masturbating, taking a shit, etc. Rude, crude and totally hilarious.

Select below (and above) for some spoilers and bitches.

There were only a couple of things I really had a problem with in this movie. If you are the boss of someone, and you want to "keep a leash on them" do you SEND THEM TO THE SAME PRECINCT THAT YOUR HEROIN OP IS IN? I thought not. Also, do drug dealers really drive around in the most conspicous cars they can lay their hands on, even if they are undercover? The last thing that sort of threw me for a loop was killing off the head lady. Normally in a Segal movie there is a bit of romance at the end, when whoever he spent pissing off the entire movie decides he's not that bad and the movie ends with them getting something on. It was kinda neat to see a movie with only about 30 seconds dedicate to any sort of romance (or in this case, hinting at romance) at all.

And that's all I have to say about that. So in conclusion, head to this on a cheap night, or at a cheap theatre, but I say do go see/rent it if you like a good action flick.