Aryk pointed me to this one on shipment of fail: Suggest a caption as I’m speechless. I LOL'd. I'm speechless too.
OK, this just made me giggle. Short story, 23 year old got drunk, had a knife, figured it'd be a good idea to break into a house and threaten the owner. Turns out the owner was 72. Oh, and a former boxer. The pictures tell the story of what happened. Damn kids get off my lawn!
Funny little deleted scene in Terminator 3 Explains Why The Terminators Look Like Arnold. I understand why they cut it, but really glad it surfaced! Via /Film.
Forgetfoo has an awesome New iPhone 3Gs parody ad from College Humor. Hilarious.
A Man and His… Squirrel? via Snuzzy.com. Very cute, especially the shower scene. And this is a real squirrel I'm talking about, not some innuendo :)
Just a series of pictures, cause I've had a long day and need the amusement :)
Link from digg via my friend SS.... What Your Facial Hair Really Says About You. I have to object, I'd totally take my socks off!
Great addition to the PHP manual page for goto with a bit of XKCD...
Some great Workout Videos to make you feel a bit better about not going to the gym. The exercise ball one is my favorite!
Macenstein points to an honest “laptop hunters” commercial, with a real guy, finding a real laptop, for real things. NSFW audio though.
Jack Russell terrier puppies, live on ustream. Currently the puppies are feeding, and mom is looking very tired.
Here's your laugh for the day... check out Microsoft's Windows Internet Explorer 8: Get the facts comparison page. Don't you love mindless marketing propaganda. The only way that I can see these comparisions being complete and outright lies are some minor wordings put in the comments to explain how Chrome and Firefox don't have security, privacy, web tools, reliability (ha!) and manageability.
This reminds me of talking to someone who has just quit smoking and saying how wonderful they are now, ignoring the legacy of the 2 pack a day habit they left behind (in this case, we call it Internet Explorer 6, still a plague to the web). Ah well, I'm pretty sure that most people reading this site don't use IE8 for anything other than doing Windows Update on their parents and in-laws computers anyway....
Original story and comments on reddit.
Weird Al does Craigslist, Doors style via Boing Boing. Awesome.
If you're a TopGear fan, you'll really enjoy Jeremy's Extreme Ford Fiesta road test. Give it a few minutes to go from funny-serious to serious surreal, and to awesome.
Funny little video on If Google Were Your Roommate...
The Flickr blog has some examples of when You think you’re so funny.
I hear it's the latest craze with the teenagers, so parents beware! Do not let your children near the baby pathers or they could be drawn into the dangerous world of panther huffing!
35 Tip Jars Designed to Make You Give More. First is my favorite I think, Om nom nom...
Someone has gone out and compiled a list of the 25 Best Programmer WebComic Strips. Lots of XKCD and Dilbert in there. I've got about 1/3rd of them ready to be printed out and hung on the wall of my next office.
Wasted Talent has a great cartoon about how your job is like a Japanese RPG.
Speaking as someone who has been on both sides of this relationship, I find The Vendor Client relationship - in real world situations hilarious. Thanks Darren.
Zero Punctuation's review of Duke Nukem Forever has got to be his most brilliant so far. Lots of little stuff in there (as usual) that the hardcore gamers (especially those of us around from the DN3D and who know who John Romero are) will love :)
Star Wars ABC is a set on Flickr. Who wouldn't want to print these out and make flashcards for your little nerdlings?
Batteries Feel Included has an easy solution on how to get the girl. Most hilarious while not 100% far fetched :) Also a nice tie in with Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day.
The Geek “Must Do Before You Die” Checklist. Via a share from Len on Google Reader.
Title basically says it all... A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages. Awesomely accurate :) To quote:
1972 - Dennis Ritchie invents a powerful gun that shoots both forward and backward simultaneously. Not satisfied with the number of deaths and permanent maimings from that invention he invents C and Unix.
The Duke Nukem Forever List. Celebrating what's taken less time to come out than Duke Nukem' Forever.
Post-It inventor watching viral internet post-it-tricks video. Also has a link to the post-it ticks videos. I recommend clicking through to the vimeo site and watching it in high def. Very cool.
Stack Overflow asks What is the best comment in source code you have ever encountered? and the masses respond with some absolute gems. IE:
//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows
Thankfully my favorite ("drunk, fix later") is in there too.
Dork Yearbook is a tumble blog of old pictures of nerds and geeks (and dorks) in their youth. Some of these are horrifyingly familiar.
OK, it took me a bit to get this, but when I did, it was the damn funniest thing ever. Check out Pulp Browsers. I won't give you any hints if you don't get it though :) (unless you ask really nicely).
Well, it's not the full new ISS module, but Colbert will get NASA Treadmill Named After Him. For US people you can watch the segment over here.
Via Darren, a not-quite-official entry into the list of Microsoft "Laptop Hunters" series of ads: Homeless Frank.
Oh go on, laugh, it's funny :P
Via Aryk.... Man Builds Chair That Tweets His Farts, Single-Handedly Justifying Twitter's Existence. Not much more to say, other than I want my couch to do this. It would certainly make my twitter stream more interesting!
Funniest LOLCat evah? I haz found it! Has awesomeness on many levels.
Funny or Not? April Fools' Day Pranks Roundup. Have I mentioned I can't wait for this day to be over?
Also a 2009 roundup.
Here's an animated gif of an awesome baby trick. Totally going to teach my kids this (if I were to have any)!
Via Daring Fireball: E-mail Addresses It Would Be Really Annoying to Give Out Over the Phone. Use one of these to guarantee that you don't get an email back :)
Reddit is right, this is the the coolest resume ever.
In other words, feel free to check out this awesome site:
Funny introduction to twitter in the video twouble with twitters. Thanks for the link Len (who doesn't get it either).
While Failblog shows this as a Baby Name Fail, I say it's a complete and udder win! In other news, I've found the name for my first-born.
Shuttle-Riding Bat Dies The Most Glorious Death Imaginable.
Really not much more to say, other than thanks Len for the link.
Oops, dupe! Sorry about that :)
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one that this happens to. Another brilliant XKCD cartoon.
Great video of a presentation from MythBusters Co-Host Adam Savage on Obsession. Via @gatewayy.
Macenstein asks: What the hell is Best Buy selling? I'm pretty sure that when Apple released the new Mac Mini they didn't stretch it out like that. Really, I have no idea what they were thinking, other than maybe people expect a 2.0 product to be bigger?
The title of OH… MY… GOD should tell you something about how Woz looked on DWTS last night. Still, I must say that the geek troops should rally to keep our man in!
Nunchuck Fail on Fail Blog. Hilarious, even though you know exactly how it will end, and it does, badly.
This brought back memories of spending most of highschool watching endless reruns of Red Dwarf. Smeg.
Great find via RSS.... a flickr account where the owner has a pet AT-AT. Well, picture of one as it if were a pet anyway :)
This change poster is truly awesome. I must have it on my wall!
Random cool story about how @THE_REAL_SHAQ on twitter is indeed, the Real Shaq: Finally, A Use for Twitter.
Random comic about how Puttering can get old on Indexed. Great stuff, and speaking as someone with lots of holidays this year, and no idea where to go, it's very true!
Hilarious link passed on from Danni. Deaf Karaoke Live is fairly indescribable..... just watch and enjoy!
Random link - F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories. Looks like a hangout for angst-ridden teens :)
OK, this one is definitely not for the faint of ear. The Sopranos, Uncensored via /Film is every single swear word from the Sopranos (I presume all 6(?) seasons) into one 27 minute video. Truly awesome in not only scale but execution!
I'm so glad that someone finally brought this up. I've long wondered how to do this and I agree, there's really no good way (outside of adding some random words after the emoticon to pad things out :) like this).
The Geek Social Aptitude Test 2.0 by Jason Hummel, Web Developer in Fargo
Google Helps You Find a Robot Lady Companion on Mars. Coolest use of an AI, whole compilation of knowledge, and 3D mapping program ever :) Link explains all.
Editor Comparison graphs of learning curves for different editors. Love the vi one :)
This is pretty awesome, a note from @rainmakertom posting about how Stephen Fry posts Twitter updates while trapped in lift.
"Your brilliant comments are keeping us all (hysterically) cheerful. Last a heard engineers still on their way," he Tweeted.
Cool story about the use of this new "twitter" technology. *cough*@arcterex*cough*
Crackulous Allows for App Store Piracy. From Darren. Presented without comment (as it was sent to me).
I know it's old, but this Tropic Thunder promo video was passed on to me today. Hilarious.
Top 10 Funny Answers from Desperate Students. Most amusing. Gracias Mike from work.
Memorable Superbowl Commercials.
Daring Fireball has awesome links to Adobe UI Gripes.
Damn, they caught me!
BEST GOOGLE STREET VIEW EVER | FilmDrunk: The movie blog that hates Colin Hanks
Microsoft Learning spoofs “I love the whole world” via IStartedSomething. Truly awesome.
Collection of totally offensive jokes, not for the faint hearted. They are not kidding.... you're going to hell just for clicking that link.
Another review from the most awesome.. I mean thebestpageintheuniverse for Quantum of Solace. It's first line, declaring it "a shitpile" sets the tone :)
Darren threw me superuseless superpowers this morning. Awesome.
I LMAO this morning at the Office Poop survival guide via best of craigslist.
Ninja Kitty has some serious overhang rock climbing skills!
I'm not sure I totally understand this image, but it is clear that teddy will understand whatever your mood is...
Laughing Squid has some Essential Target Practice templates for the target shooters among you.
A truer chart was never made.... graphing When my cat sleeps on me.
Apparently a lot (hundreds? thousands? All of them?) of 1st Gen 30G Zunes are failing all at once. Gizmodo has the story with updates. No resolution from Microsoft at this time though.
ObSarcasm - there are "hundreds" of people with Zunes? Seriously?
Update: fix?
Update2: Seems the real fix is to wait till midnight.
Voice Activated, Interactive Dancing R2-D2 Astromech Droids. I'm not sure what else to day. It's awesome!
This video from JWZ brings up the question of "why are you morons driving?" Seriously, just stay at home....
Jizz In My Pants was passed on from Peejay, and it is epically awesome. The latest from the SNL guys that brought you "Dick in a box". Looks great in HD too, especially the hottie :)
End Of Days: Man Rams Woman's Car At 100 MPH, Claims "God" Told Him To Do it
Cracked.com has a great "how to write your own version of House" in their Every Episode of 'House' Ever page. Awesome cause it's true of course :)
Clips: Iron Man Children's Costume Modded to Be Deadly-Cute
Another awesome MythBusters YouTube Live paintball event. Super-cool, they do have the best job in the world don't they?
I've seen the Daily WTF story of DOLLARS and SENSE all over the social news sites and it is epically awesomely bad, especially if you know anything about programming or assembler code. It occurs to me that this is the opposite of The Story of Mel, a classic story from Usenet from '83 and a task of Herculean awesome programming, about the opposite of the WTF story.
Darren passed me a great video of the Kids in The Hall's Scott Thompson as he passes a Portal challenge. Barely. Much hilarity ensues.
Truth: Harsh Reality Behind the Gizmodo/Reader Symbiosis Revealed by Dilbert
I read I can haz cheeseburger, failblog, hot dogs, etc and enjoy the heck out of them, but I had to share this Security Fail. My first LOL moment of the morning :)
Ha! Via fozbaca on the Twitter comes a great article on how Tables are The Next Evolution in CSS Layout. Very similar to the 'just give up and use tables' link I posted last week :)
Adorable: Kitty Cat Hitches Ride on Back of a Roomba
My buddy Len threw over a link to a youtube video of a "Real Transformer". Pretty cool.
Mars Phoenix: 30 Mars Phoenix Discoveries NASA Will Never Show the World
It's long been held that the old jokes are the best jokes... Dead Parrot sketch is 1,600 years old - Telegraph
It takes a bit to get to it, but this Dance Fail over at fail blog is epic.... you just gotta wait for it....
Pretty sound advice (from my experience anyway) regarding CSS and Table layouts..... Give Up and Use Tables
We've scientifically determined the maximum amount of time that you should need to make a layout work in CSS[...]
I'm not exactly sure what the download they have is (I'm on a linux box here and it doesn't seem to run under WINE, but it maybe a local copy of the flash timer they have).
Ha! Check out this flickr post: I'm actually Knuth's homeboy. Kinda jelous...
From my friend Rob comes this little tutorial on How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You. I'm not sure about you, but I see all these in my cats, and am now fearful for my life. Please protect me. My results from the accompanying quiz are below:
So I just had to post this link for a couple of reasons. First, the story of a guy with a wolf as a pet is pretty cool, as I used to know a guy like that and played with wolves when I was a lad and they are awesome. Secondly, the comments to the reddit story are awesome, from the internet rule comment by floydiannyc and then the narwals comments, down to a conversation about owning cats and how they are good at hiding evidence of their killings.... and then it gets interesting :)
Brian found this on gizmodo: Photoshop Contest: 23 Personal HUDs That Would Make All of Our Lives Easier. Ones like this one make me agree that we all need a personal HUD (and gig-eee direct to the brain, but that's another thing).
I did also just LOL at the message in the bottom right of this entry.
Laughing Squid has an ad described as: Giant Kitten Headed Humanoid Cat Fight In Toyota Corolla Ad. Bet you didn't think you'd ever see those words all together did you?
Via /film I found a post called The Land of the Free which is a set of pictures of dressed up Star Wars fanboys at home. Very odd/interesting/bizarre :)
Darren pointed me to a great youtube of A Mercedes was traveling on 3 wheels. So that's what that funny noise was!
Part of the marketing for the new Kevin Smith movie is that you can get you own Zack and Miri Star I.D.. You can now call me "Snowball Adams" or "Two-Pump Chump" if you like.
No, not really.
Khensu threw me a link to The Manga Guide to Databases.
I have no idea what to say.
OK, it's just a comic, but Miscellanea seems to have a good grasp of The Behavior Modification Loop of Epic Fail. :)
Matthew Inman has a funny look at The 8 Phases of Dating (and others below, including 10 reasons why it would rule to date a unicorn).
Nice list on networkworld of 23 things I wish would just go away. Apple, Microsoft.... no on is spared.
Some very amusing (and inventive) solutions to the FizzBuzz programming challenge in the Humor in code question. Take special note of some of the non-standard language solutions that are in there.
Not that type of balls you sicko! No, this is Beware of The Orbs! passed on from a coworker and particularly funny to me. Darren says this spawned Face Ball.org.
I'm quite sure doing this in real life would be somewhat of an HR issue, however the Diet Coke Mentos Booby Trap video looks damn funny!
This is too cute not to share, check out this I Kissed A Dog mashup song.
Posted so I don't lose them again, two great best-of craigslist posts:
- WARNING!!! - why not to shave your ass
- Do not eat fat free potato chips - another warning
Hilarious video shared with me this morning. Simply titled No Jackie Chan Bollocks it came up during a conversation about martial arts. Very funny, sorry if I'm the last person to see this :)
Remember the made-for-internet comedy videos to be done by Family Guy's creator Seth MacFarlane? Yup, they're here in all their burger king corporate whoring glory! :) I'll be watching these on the train to work this morning to see how they are.
So I finally understand it.... in a video pointed to by Darren the FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan.
And really, what's wrong with that?
Mmmm..... Alyson Hannigan.....
Cute story from snuzzy.com about a Vancouver police officer saving ducklings. Definitely one for the cute files....
I know I say this ever time, but Zero Punctuation's review of Eve Online is the best Zero Punctuation ever :)
Accordion guy has a link with The “Things to Say During Sex” Chart. Absolutely hilarious.
Darren pointed me to the Bigfoot press release. Most amusing.
OMFG how did I miss this the first time I heard about it! Temp Fortress 2. TF Machina at it's best.
Pointed to me by a coworker is the Twenty Sided Tale blog, with the top article on The End of Piracy! being an excellent article.
I so want a poster of these Internet Safety Guidelines (via reddit). Truer words I haven't seen for ages.
I always enjoy watching video of people failing amazingly and hurting themselves... what can I say, it amuses me. Therefor check this out on Break.com: X-Games My Ass! Check Out The Y-Games!
I love Triumph.... here the always awesome is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Comic Con.
Great collection of the Best Star Wars Costumes from Comic-Con.
A great and classic story somehow I managed to miss.... The Graphing Calculator Story is the story of a guy working inside Apple and building an app while not actually employed.
We looked at each other, took a deep breath, and launched the application. The monitor burst into flames. We calmly carried it outside to avoid setting off smoke detectors, plugged in another monitor, and tried again.
[...]
[My friend's] contract in another division at Apple had just ended, so he told his manager that he would start reporting to me. She didn't ask who I was and let him keep his office and badge. In turn, I told people that I was reporting to him. Since that left no managers in the loop, we had no meetings and could be extremely productive.
Great read, classic net lore stuff.
Awesome little geek comic this morning on deep packet inspection">: Geek And Poke: DPI Is Not Too Bad.
io9 asks: How Does Your Hero Measure Up On Our Wish-Fulfillment Checklist?
Another morning /Film video link: Star Wars vs. Rush Hour.
OK, so this is the funniest thing I've read in a while: Fifth Avenue Gazette: The Taint Grooming Issue (by Tommy Lee Jones). To quote $coworker "I laughed so hard I pooped a little bit."
I used to think that hard core wrestling fans were kinda dumb-asses, and after seeing a video where Wrestlers need a chair and fans deliver I'm both amused and assured my original assessment was correct!
Hilarious site I can't believe that I have never seen before: The Official Ninja Webpage:REAL Ultimate Power!!!!. OMFG that is funny.
Described as "when 1-10 isn't enough", the The Area Code Rating System is truly innovative! Who said that everything to be invented has already been invented!? Bah! I say.
Okay, here is how it works. Every human being on the planet can be adequately described using a three-digit number (i.e. area code).
See the website for details and examples.
Almost guarenteed to be the oddest Shaolin Soccer Japanese Matrix Style video you'll see today. Thanks Brian for passing it on.
Amusing story sent to me from a guy at work who knows what line of business I used to do tech support for :) Last Line Says It All.
I now have this image as my wallpaper at work. All hail hypnotoad!
Funny as hell, though if you're at work you probably want to use headphones.... Teletubbies: Shake That Ass Bitch. Thanks B!
Someone introduced me to fail blog, and my introduction was this Skateboarding Fail. Ouch.
OMG, /film points to Dance Off with the Star Wars Stars, a hilarious take on Dancing with the [whatever] type TV shows. Chewie dancing with a Jawa, that's all I'm going to say! :)
From the Onion, Steven Seagal’s CockPuncher Movie Trailer.... finally a role I can get behind Steven Segal in!
Toys for the Disturbed. Very.... disturbing.
So scary it's funny.... check out Overdue Retirement on The Daily WTF. A sampling:
"Backups: not a chance! When I started I asked about the backup procedures. I was told that all the software was stored on the 'software notebook.' Yes, a notebook.
*brain explodes*
I'm not a huge weezer fan (except for one song), but when Darren pointed me to the video of Pork and Beans and told me it was epically awesome, I have to agree. The Digg page has links to all the memes and internet superstars that are featured. Numa Numa guy!!!!
Hilarious video passed on from Darren - Hitler Plans Burning Man.
Couple of quick Indy links for ya'll
Just a little bit of naughty language, however hilarious is this "Piracy PSA" with McLovin, the geeky guy from Superbad.
Via Reddit.com comes this old (judging by the computer pictured) news article (assuming it didn't come from the National Inquirer) about how Hackers can turn your computer into a BOMB (emphasis mine). Nothing better on a monday morning than funny old propaganda!
Check out this LeaveMeAloneBox Video. This is a box with a switch on it that when turned on it does nothing but turn the switch off. For some reason I find this hilarious. Hit the main page for more info and pics, specs, etc.
An Engineer's Guide to Cats. Hilarious. Especially if you're a cat owner.
Oh I'm sure it's old but found a video of what to do if you find Naked Pictures of Your Buddy's Girlfriend via digg. SFW and very funny.
Sent by Mike at work with the title of not amused :)
Remember a while back a senator in the states quoted, or joined, or had something to do with the flat earth society, which caused a bit of a hubbubb. I read through the main page (don't remember what it is) and was amazed at the wackyness of it all.
Anyway, the latest nutso theory is the Time Cube. It has something to do with a four sided day, or 4 days, one day of a good god and one day of an evil one, or something like that....
Time Cube's ineffable Truth. 'Cubeless Word' is not Truth. Word justifies all human evil. Time Cube is a test for Truth. Circle measure is slop bucket. God belief 50% god disbelief. Truth is 100%, belief is 50%. Time Cube is Truth creation.
WTF?
As with all wacky websites, it's unreadable, a mix of fonts, large font size, lots of colors and italics and is pages and pages long. Don't these people know anything about public relations and how to attract people to actually read their sites? The site that is denounced on the main time cube site is even worse, with a far more vomit inducing color scheme.
LOL Together--a lolcat filk of the Beatles' "Come Together". I'm really not sure if there's anything else to say.... it's hilarious and surreal at the same time.
Ten Reasons Why I Need A Girlfriend at Duane Storey.
The Escapist : Zero Punctuation: Turok is out today.... awesome review as usual.
Found via reddit is a video of a live rickroll pulled off by rocketboom.
Bad Movie Physics: A Report Card - nice view of how good or bad space movies are :)
Valleywag is right, this Flowchart needs no explanation. Well, other than how to get it poster sized to hang over me while I play D&D on the internets with the google.
Hilarious rant from Rob Paravonian on how all music is all the same... funny, and with examples.
Rejected Cartoons, passed on from a coworker.
Very cool project from Make is a Serial-mouse-driven Etch-a-Sketch, via Boing-Boing.
Cooking up a Poor Man's RAID-Z with ZFS, USB Memory Sticks, Solaris, and VMware Fusion from over at the VMWare Fusion Blog.
Heheheheh, pic of what you need in case of Headcrab Infestation. Half Life understanding required :)
BankWest Singing Kittens. Just watch it....
Jimmy Kimmels F@cking Ben Affleck Response to Matt and Sarah. Not as funny or catchy (IMHO) as the original, though still pretty funny! Wish it was uncensored :)
Great video pointed to by Veronica Belmont of Jonathan Coulton performs "Still Alive" in Rock Band with a couple of special guests.
I found my next must-have knitting project (as I got a Dalek)... the R2D2 Beanie!!
OMG, this is the best idea ever!!! You have to of course have watched a bit of Fawlty Towers to really understand it.
The Escapist : Zero Punctuation: Yahtzee Goes to GDC. Not much more need said.... absolutely hilarious, anyone who doesn't watch Zero Punctuation, really needs to subscribe IMMEDIATELY! :)
Darren threw me a link to a Leaked RIAA Training Video: Find Pirates, Find Crack-Dealing Terrorist Murderers Too!. Apparently people who are music pirates are also generally buying crack with their downloads, while burning the flag with flamethrowers aimed at YOUR UNBORN CHILDREN.
God bless the USA!
What an awesome ad via WinExtra.
I resisted watching the video She's F-n Matt Damon, a hilarious video from Sara Silverman to her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel... very funny (though not as good a song IMHO as Matt Damon's other great song "Scotty Doesn't Know" from Eurotrip). Not bad, not bad at all.
Conjugal Harmony has to be the best site ever... they should send the guys from DatingIsHell over there. I love that they list the convictions there too..... bwahahahahaha
Classic video everyone should see..... Red Dwarf: Smeg Ups by BBC Worldwide Sci-Fi.
My buddy Robert sent me a video of this interview, which I admit, took me a bit to determine if it was from a sitcom or a legitimate news show. Honestly it's a bit more sane that some of the news interviews I've seen these days!
It's stories like Do not run this script, ever! from Daily WTF that makes me think that we as sysadmins, will never, ever win. Also that the stupid people in the world are getting smarter, without actually getting.... smarter.
I asked what he thought when the script printed "DO NOT EVER RUN THIS SCRIPT" and exited without doing anything. The newbie said he saw that, but really wanted to see what it did, so he commented out the "exit 1" and ran it again.
Ugh.
I'm pretty sure this singer didn't see it coming, but luckily the music (and impeccable lyrics) kept on going without a hitch. What skill!
Cracked.com has the list of 5 Douchebag Behaviors Explained by Science.
Aperture Science Rocks: The Top 12 'Still Alive' Cover Versions. That pretty much says it all.... some very bizarre renditions of JoCo's "Still Alive".
Wil Wheaton points to a fantastic version of "Still Alive" (the Portal song): Alive . . . in Joust. Yes, joust, as in that Joust. Pretty awesome!
A Day in the Life of Two Portal Turrets via ShackBlog. Hilarious, though you have to have played portal to really "get it" all.
The Internet Party: What Happens When Google's Parents Leave Town for the Weekend?
Moderately amusing video with the personalities of the various websites around. I found the "flickr" guy particularly funny for the 2 seconds he was shown :)
Found a video of Mintys Comedian Of The Month May 2007 - Jim Jeffries and decided that Jim Jeffries is possibly the funniest person on the planet, regardless of his crudity. If you're sensitive to nasty words, keep on going, if not, this guy is hilarious, I was practically bent over and in pain from laughter for the entire ten minutes. More of his YouTube vids here.
One of my favorite Windows Blogs has a wonderfully cutting and delicious smackdown to the Windows Ultimate Extras team, around their inactivity of late. Just head over and read Hi Ultimate Extras, we noticed you’ve been inactive…
The latest Zero Punctuation on Silent Hill Origins is the funniest thing I've seen this year, I can pretty much assure you of that. And I've never played any Silent Hill game or watched any Silent Hill movie, so I'm sure it'll be even better for people who actually know what he's talking about!
I know it's not funny, but check out these World's Most Amazing Videos: Volume 1 over on youtube. Lots of smashes, crashes and explosions.
Inappropriate Children's Book Titles... hilarious.
I love cute things and sites like cuteoverload.com, and I do try not to post every cute link I see there, cause it'd be damn annoying and you guys can use the interwebs to find the tube that connects you to that site anyway. However, this video of a snoring cat made me LOL and LMAO, which is fairly unusual. So enjoy.
Mini Me Does World of Warcraft... not as good as the Mr. T one IMHO, still funny though.
The creator of XKCD Randall Munroe giving a talk at Google. Long (58 minutes), and very amusing.
Via reddit: chalain: Computers Fear Me.
I forgot Pascal 15 years ago. This is not the same as never having learned it. For one thing, you mutter under your breath a lot more.
Reminds me of some of the ugly hacks and screen scrapers I've done in my time.... :)
How To Spot a Cylon. We all need one.
Funny look at how Windows XP is a great upgrade to Vista.
Just for shits and giggles, check out the original Tripping the Rift animation.
Looks like the Daily WTF also sees stupid people in the post for plz email me teh codez. Same situation as I have with complete idiots posting follow up questions again, and again, and again (over 2000 comments so far BTW).
Darren pointed me over to Here Comes Another Bubble - The Richter Scales a great song/video on YouTube. Very catchy.
Another Laughing Squid Find is a set of videos of Daniel Chesterfield, Magic That Defies The Ordinary. Last video is my favorite, but you need to see the other ones to set up the vibe as it were :)
I present to you Italian Spiderman Trailer with no further comment.
Amusing.... 10 Reasons Why Johnny Cash Owns Chuck Norris.
1 - Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris
Hit the link for the rest.
Eight Classic Cinematic Verbal Beatdowns.... fantastic clips to watch, especially if you're in a murderous rage :)
New WoW Ads Recruit Mr. T and Shatner. Hilarious, thanks Darren.
Amusing, what happens when an iPhone Equipped Passenger Takes On Flight Crew Over Weather. Turns out that your iPhone telling you it's sunny when you're delayed on the tarmac isn't the definitive answer that you're smarter than the pilot or air traffic controller :)
Coding horror reminds you: Don't Forget To Lock Your Computer.
A similar method to what we use at work, which is one of:
- Search for disgusting pictures on the internet
- Set as wallpaper
- Lock computer
Or sending emails to staff email lists confessing to "unnatural" urges, or taking a screenshot of the desktop, setting it as the wallpaper, and then hiding all the users icons :)
Top Gear is a british show that I really love, and hardly ever watch. However, Cute Overload posted this clip of the smallest car ever which is hilarious. Not only is the car small, it's tiny. So small you can drive it to your work front door, then pull it into the office with you, up the elevator, and sit it beside your desk. Just watch it.
Scottish star trek. Hilarious (and completely incomprehensible).
Funny costumes for Halloween next year.... almost like a Home Zoo!
Sorry for the more Portal news, but JoCo posted a link to a video of Cute Virtual Idol Sings Portal Song.
Sorry for the lack of news..... been a couple of LONG days here at work.
I haven't read more than the headline, but when you see that GAP was caught using child labor to make GAP kids clothing you have to chuckle, then look up "ironic" in the dictionary again.
The JoCo Primer - Listening Suggestions is a great selection of music from Jonathan Coulton, whose work you'll be familiar with if you have a) finished Portal or b) are familiar with this troubador of John Hodgman (from the Daily Show and The PC Guy from the Apple ads).
Thanks Darren for pointing me out this guy existed.
As with the last awesome picture I posted, it's hard to describe just how awesome this is.
So, when did Luke, Vader and Chewie have a band?
The oops list is an amusing collection of "oops" pictures, comics, etc. Lots of aviation related stuff, and you know how bad it is when you combine "oops" with "huge chunk of flying steel".
I think I posted about this guy's review of The Orange Box a bit ago, well, here's a list of all his reviews, of which all that I've watched so far, are hilarious.
Press The Spacebar 2000, a flash game. So simple, and yet, so fun! (and potentially keyboard destroying :)
Wake Up! - the essence of catness. Spoken as the owner of three of the little buggers, I can attest this has happened more than once :)
Thanks Darren!
I thought it'd end up being a joke, but check out how this guy Played Through Episode Two Holding A Goddamn Gnome (note: some spoilers) to get the 'gnome achievement'. Absolutely hilarious, and skillful. Note that the gnome also has his own blog about the whole thing!
Some of The Best of Maury Povich, including such classics as the pickle girl, 11 paternity tests, and so on.
Amusing little thing: 25 Reasons You Might Be A Hardcore Graphic/Web Designer. Of note for me is:
* You’ve kept a ragged concert ticket just so you could scan it.
I still have the concert tickets from when I got into the second row at a Garth Brooks concert back in the mid-90's (and got to hug Garth Brooks's Mom as well, but that's another story :)
I wish someone had explained things like this back when I was younger :)
No idea where this is from, but this 2.5 minute video on What TOP GUN is really about by Quentin Tarantino is absolutely hilarious (and makes total sense :)
Readers of XKCD will be happy to see that wetriffs is live.
Comic from Joy of Tech to help you rationalize your piracy.
Cool look at where the best websites of 2001 are now: Internet Allstars ‘01: Where are they now? Interesting... most of the sites I didn't use, with the exception of a couple. I do miss the unadulterated music that was AudioGalaxy though, a lot of uhmm.... a friends mp3 collection was created with help from AG.
Dear Scott Adams, please get out of my head.
Perez is the best in celeb gossip, according to him. However, Britney’s New Nickname is hilarious. "Unfitney". Ha!
Wow, lots of interesting stuff in The 7 Strangest Post-Sitcom Careers (where are they now). Via Digg.
furries vs klingons.... a greater nerd-fest I cannot imagine.
For the Birds, video of shoplifting seagull.
Sent to me by a coworker with the simple comment of "so very wrong". Hilarious Man / Woman Dog Diet. Starring the big guy from Hot Fuzz / Shaun of the Dead. Darren tells me it's days old though. Bah. Still funny though.
Forgetfoo pointed to Daily WTF's collection of Best Budweiser Advertisements. Nice find!
Hilarious picture of Opera vs. Firefox vs. Internet Explorer on the Opera Watch website via Digg.
Much as I'd love to use Opera, I've grown a bit too dependent on a few of the plugins to let it go.
Quote #809280 is the funniest BASH.org quote I've seen all day today.... sort of an IRC version of rock paper scissors.
Hilarious video on YouTube called If YouTube Comments Met Real Life Situations. Great way to start the morning out!
Doing a little research on how well the Roomba works on cat hair for my place, and found a set of cute videos with pets and the roomba.
Via Darren comes a monday morning really funny cat video. Horribly cute.
Somehow this picture reminds me of my relationship with my boss....
Hilarious Internet Safety Tips. The carebear one made me giggle.
TorrentFreak has a great article on how a bunch of MediaDefender Internal Emails Go Public. Basically a .torrent with 700mb of raw mail files from Media Defender about how they are setting up a site for the purpose of getting people to upload copyrighted material, and bust them. Great read.
Ha! Sure, Fight for Kisses is a razor ad, but wow, holy crap it's funny and good.
Cute comic on how to quit caffeine. I tend to go into the 'cold turkey' phase now and then....
Someone came up with the idea of Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. Definite potential to mess with people's minds and have fun (or look like a total idiot) :) Great comments if you keep reading down the thread.
You could also pretend to be from the very recent future (a la "7 Days"), maybe even only a few hours.Wear normal clothes, covered in dust. Stagger up to people, grab them and say, "you need to get out of the city now!" then run off.
Your dose of cuteness can be found here. You may now return to your normal programming.
Found via Wil Harris and TWiT is a video of Old School Dvorak, way back in the day, reviewing an IBM system in the early 80s.
Wow, a) computers get old fast and b) Dvorak hasn't changed a bit :)
Funny pie chart of a Time breakdown of modern web design, showing what percentage of time is spent on what. A fantastic illustration on why I don't do web design :)
Speaking of which, anyone bored and want to design a new design for UFies.org? :)
OMG. I challenge you to watch this Top That! Video (horrible 80s cheese) in it's entirety. Really. Bonus points if you're a child of the 80s.
If you don't know what "dumber than a sack of hammers happy" means now, watch Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question and then come back to me. I'll wait.
To be fair, I'm sure she was flustered, but really, come on, can't people string a sentence together? One that, like, has an ending that has something to do with the beginning that has something to do with the question asked, like, okay?
The sad thing is, I'm sure she'll do ok in the world, for some reason society these days seems to reward the bim-tards.
Forget foo has The Net in 12 Minutes, an amusing and horrific montage of the best and worst moments in those little video clips you see passed around.
Anyone else find this picture that JWZ posted strangely and almost disturbingly hot? Or is that just me? Please say it isn't just me...
Great guide from Stanford on how to prepare for parenting.
Funny: 10 Good Reasons You May not Want to Have Kids:
If they are ugly or stupid, you will have to endure them for a long time to come.
Top 10 Halo Pick-Up Lines. Yet another reason to get an XBox 360....
I'm so getting a Level 1 Human baby shirt when I have a kid!
A hilarious look (note the 'what would have happened in real life' sections) of 5 of the Most Absurd Superhero Origins.
Unfortunate (Sexual) Things About Being a Man. As if the world needed to beat us down more!
Much More Than Meets the Eye - hilarious comic, another one I'll have to subscribe to.
It takes a bit to get going, but hang in there, this Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie Intro is actually really good!
Hehehe, nice tips on How to Prepare for a Date.
Under no circumstances should these phrases ever leave your mouth on date:1 - "…and that's why the courts ordered that I be castrated."
Read the full thing for the funny.
I've seen this Internet Chatroom Parody a while back, but hey, I'll post it again. Basically what an internet chat would look like in real life.... and based on my own trolling experience, it's pretty accurate :)
Funny list of B10 things i hate about star trek:
Between Scotty's poor lubrication habits and Geordi's damned polarity reversing trick, it's a wonder the Enterprise doesn't just spontaneously explode whenever they put the juice to it.
It is said that Real Men Love the Fifth Element... and if so, I am a real man.
Not everyone is an iphone fanboy, some even think that The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face. Caution, bad words present in the webpage. And the blink tag. Heathens!
LOL - the New Yorker's article on what I used to think people were saying about me.
Yup, another this-is-true kinda moment.
Fozbaca posted a link to a video Perl in a Nutshell, the song.
... Easy to write
Not always easy to reeeeeeeaaaaadddd.....
Classic :)
Great video of when Kids Ignite A Matchstick Bomb consisting of 30,000 matchstick heads. Booya!
Great video about how people smuggled thousands of electronics into the superbowl and spelled out a secret terrorist funny message.... check out The Super Stunt.
Hilarious video about the transformer Soundwave and his life after the original 1986 movie entitled: Soundwave - The Touch.
Got an IM from my super-windows and super-security dude main man Dana with a link to Porn and it's Relation to Your Social Life which had me rolling.
I of course, fall on the far left side of the graph.
No, really!
On a related note this came while I was reading up on why techs steal your porn when you bring your computer in for repair.
Found a funny list of 25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years from Dave Barry. Nice mix of funny and serious....
If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
StupidiPhoneLady.com is a site with just a video of, you guessed it, a Stupid iPhone Lady. Watch the full story for all the goodness :)
Without comment I present Sugar Bush Squirrel-The Superstar Squirrel.
Cute nuts....
If anyone can explain this to me, I'm waiting...
Title says it all..... TOP 20 RIDICULOUS ACTION MOVIE MOMENTS.
Mika Brzezinski of MNSBC rips Paris report to shreds on live TV, refusing to follow the rest of the so-called news stations showing 24/7 Paris Hilton news. The best part of this is the look of utter frustration and hatred as her producer refuses to change the teleprompter and as the other reporters around her continue to talk about it.
Not sure if it was journalistic integrity or simple frustration with the absolutely inane media circus surrounding the blond celebutard, I'm hoping a little of both.
BTW, Paris is looking fabulous, I heard she had a coffee ordered in, yes, a coffee, not sure what brand, let me get you some stock live video footage of the coffee van pulling up to her mansion, and we'll show it over, and over, and over, and over until you want to nuke her and the "entertainment news" from orbit (it's the only way to be sure).
Coding Horror asks the question of Does Anyone Actually Read Software EULAs? Also a nice run through of why EULAs suck.
Video of Josh Blue's performance on Last Comic Standing. You'll recognize Josh as the comedian with cerebral palsy, and a damn funny guy. Note in particular his responses to the judges after his quick set. Via Reddit.
Thinkgeek, thinking fast (and cashing in) has got something for the Meme Cat lovers out there.... the IM In UR Blank T-shirt, with washable marker included so you can change your message as needed.
I'm in UR Internets, sending UR websites for example :)
Found via digg is a video and pictures of how to set up a first person shooter view in real life... the original site is down, but here's a mirror. That'd be really trippy to watch yourself as you move around.
Over on the Dilbert Blog Scott Adams of Dilbert fame shows us all How to Make a Comic Strip.
I found scans of The most amazing book ever!
It's horses ("Latawnya" in particular) showing why drinking and drugging is bad.
Oh my.
Thanks to my buddy Brian for the Prarie Dog... but remixed! Here's Baron von Prairie by Nitro.
Via Craigslist is A Friendly Reminder from your IT Department:
2. If you are going to use my stuff, then use it properly. This means LEARN ABOUT FUCKING SPYWARE. If you absolutely HAVE to go to some site during work hours (and we’ll talk about this in a minute), then make sure, when the popups start showing up, you click the little black X in the upper right hand corner. Don’t click the big flashing “OK” in the middle. Don’t. Whatever it is you think you should do – if it’s not that little grey X in the uppermost right corner, don’t do it. Don’t. Just. Fucking. Don’t.
Much more IT love in there....
Found on Micheal Bay's blog, a Transforms shirt: Giant Fucking Robots are Coming. Hilarious, regardless of the suckage of the movie (which I'll be seeing opening weekend regardless). I'll take one of those please :)
Oh wow, this is hilarious..... check out this article on the Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect. Basically the cure is way worse than the symptom it's curing I think. Read for yourself though.
“You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.”
Fantastically funny conversations Overheard in New York.
Fairly amusing / cute / clever / meh-ok Linux commercial is out.
Hilarious article on The Onion entitled After 5 Years In U.S., Terrorist Cell Too Complacent To Carry Out Attack.
"We remain wholly committed to the destruction of America, the Great Satan," al-Sharif said. "But now is not a good time for us. The season finale of Lost was such a cliff- hanger that we have to at least catch the first episode of the new season. After that, though, death to the infidels."
I'm sure this is obvious, but this video on how To Catch a Predator (perverted justice) doesn't work.
Shockingly enough, the motives of Reality TV / Entertainment news / the utter shit that passes for "news" don't mix with actual law, law enforcement, or people actually interested in catching predators not for "good entertainment". Worth a watch for sure, even more so if you're a fan of this tv program (for real or for laughing at).
Dad at Comedy Barn is 100% proof (IMHO) that laughter breeds laughter, and someone with a funny laugh breeds even more laughter. Check from about 1:45 into the video above when they get to the guy in the middle.... keeps on going and going and going and is the funniest damn thing I've seen in ages!
Two words any man will cringe just reading..... "testicle attack".
Confessions of a Samurai Coder.... familiar to anyone who has said "you know, I could do this better with a little refactoring...." :)
Thanks to cuteoverload I have the coolest video of rats on a wheel you'll see all day.
Funny set of images with some Matrix themed images called The Microtrix.
JWZ throws out a cool thing... Wikigroaning.
So you get an MSN message from Valve saying they need to confirm your account details.... what do you do? Apparently, this. Absolutely hilarious, thanks for the link Darren!
I have to give stopmyspacing props for being a great myspace page :)
Some people have fantastic ideas.... I really want one of these!
Fake Steve Jobs has a cool new amateur ad for the iPhone based on the moon scene of 2001: A Space Odyssey.
Hilarious stand up routine on How NOT to use PowerPoint.
Ever wonder what happens if you give yourself a one-second taser burst? If so, read on!
Darren points me to a video from JediInsider of the Star Wars Celebration IV: Family Guy Preview. Absolutely hilarious. Anyone know when this is playing for real? This looks like a preview shown on a big screen with an audience.
Now this is funny.... benchmark comparing a mac from 1986 running System 6 against a brand new XPSP2 Dual Core AMD machine. You Won't Believe Who Wins.
[...]
3) All of the tests were performed with a generally recommended amount of RAM for the OS configuration. For the Mac Plus, that was 4MB. For the AMD that was 1GB.
[...]
Even benchmarks like the 'boot to desktop' had me giggling... wow, the more things change the more they suck eh? Course, they didn't have quake back then, either.
Hilariously Nasty Breakup Letter.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
Some more Mac PC Spoofs, with the crosshairs on the Mac this time, depicting Macs as rude, lazy stoner losers who can't get the girl. Funny, kinda.
Great South Park Mac vs. PC parody. Hilarious :)
Best Scenes of All Time. Says it all, sit back and enjoy.
The 20 Funniest Computer Geek Humor Bits of All Time, including classics like "The Internet Help Desk", "Troops", and other great ones. Ah, the memories.....
Title says it all, funny article, The Chinese Tattoo Prankette is amusing. Here's a sample:
So I launch into the questions: what made her decide on a Chinese symbol, who was the artist, were they Chinese, everything except what the symbol stood for. She stammers through the answers, which boil down to no real reason for the Chinese, no real interest in Asian culture or language, just got the tat from some white American dude in a shop in Sayerville. Then she launches into an explanation of what it means: inner peace or some nonsense.
A nice video compilation of Star Wars mistakes (some quite obscure). Looks great for trivia night at the nerd party :)
Hi, I'm Ruby on Rails..., in the vein of "Hi, I'm a mac". Quite funny.
A very inventive use for a spoon, syringe, mirror, and lighter... making pancakes!
Right on the heels of how to detect image fakery comes a great page of creative photos (some might even call them faked :)
Ever wonder what happens when you plug the video-out port on your video card to the video-in port on your capture card? Well, now you do. Fairly predictable, but still amusing for a few seconds anyway.
Of coruse, we all know that It Doesn’t Pay To Be “The Computer Guy”, finally someone's enumerated them from 1 to 10 (or actually, 10 to 1).
The computer guy never hears anyone tell him, “I just want to let you know … everything is working fine!”
Good to know where they put the porn they steal off your systems.... apparently you shouldn't trust geek squad. Sadly one more example of a good idea gone bad due to marketing and not paying people enough :(
Another Mac/PC parody... Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC.
Here's a funny analysis of stock photography called 9 things I learned about the world from anonymous stock photo models.. Very amusing
5. The amount of forced enthusiasm you have for a commercial product is directly proportional to how big of an asshole you are.
Photogs, especially ones who appreciate those nice long white lenses, will probably cringe at this.... click the link a few posts down for a picture of the results (may only work if you click it from the first link though). That's an expensive foul ball!
Hows this for a theft deterrent? :)
Well, satire site BBSpot has come out with a pretty conclusive Operating System Showdown: Ubuntu Vs. Vista. Hard to argue with comparisons like these!
Pretty simple, The Most Excruciatingly Painful, Yet Typical, Customer Service Call Ever. I'm not even on the phone and I want to strangle the guy on the other end of the phone!
I have no idea if this is real or not, but man it made me LOL today.
(Note, first shot at embedding youtube on UFies...)
Worse Than Failure announced the Olympiad of MisGuided Geeks contest, or OMGWTF. Basically you download skeleton code and fill in the TODOs to simple functions and are judged on ugly, buggy, or clever code.
I wish I could enter an ex-girlfriend of mine in this, a drama major who took a level 100 programming class to fill out her electives. I tried to explain stepping through simple programming constructs like loops or if statements, and well, lets just say the way that drama majors and computer geeks brains work is way different :)
"So if the loop starts and i is 0, and in the loop it increments i by 1, what's i when it gets back to the start of the loop?"
"more"
"How much more?"
"Uhmm...."
"OK, so when it starts, how much is i?"
"Huh?"
*shoots self and runs away*
(OK, maybe it wasn't quite that bad..... I didn't shoot myself, just stabbed my foot with a fork.)
Darren pointed me to 50 Reasons Why Star Wars Is Better Than Star Trek:
Sure, Bones is a fine physician. But this conversation can't start until he puts a torpedo in a two-meter wide exhaust vent with his eyes closed.
Great stuff, love #8: "Pockets" :)
The hardest mario level video has been around for a few days and at 23 minutes long I really thought it was really a bit long.... however, when the swearing angry ranty commentary is added, it gets soooo much better :)
Hayden Gallery. For you perves who watch heroes just for the cheerleader :)
Great story on how Paris Hilton was pwned over on wwttd:
Last September, the story broke that guerilla graffiti artist Banksy had smuggled 500 doctored copies of Paris Hilton's debut album into stores throughout the UK, where they sold without anyone knowing they were fake.
Details include that the CDs were put out with fake linernotes, cover, and even faked music.
I cry for the children of today and the crappy music they have....
... and on a a mission from God....
Hilarious story / joke. No idea if it's a true story or not, but it's v.funny (you have to stick with it though :)
Oneiros finds yet another great '300' reference in comic form.
Wonder when Illiad will chime in?
Funny vid of a boxing match entitled Never Kiss A Guy During A Staredown!
Personally I thought it would have been obvious....
Via Reddit comes a collection of great Geek Culture images.
I love the Daily WTF Worse Than Failure, and while a WTF code example I posted a while back fell flat, I hope that this one regarding concatentation truly attracts more attention. An amazing example of doing things the long way at the least, a cruel joke if not. The commenters are great as well, especially this one... though they seem split as to if this is a true example of code found in the wild or just a cruel joke on either the posters part of the coder in question.
The Summarize your sex life with a Star Wars quote thread. Muahahahahah....
"Is it a hit?" "Negative, just impacted on the surface" -- Wally
... <continues lmao>
An online eye test from Men's Health. Very effective :) Via Forgetfoo.
Another reason why we should always believe statistics... Why I Will Never Have a Girlfriend has numbers that are irrefutable as far as why you will never find a girlfriend.
A video from the John Safran series (whom I first heard about from an ex-university classmate living in Australia) is Door to Door Atheists, more of a rant against people knocking on your door first thing in the morning than your religious beliefs. Very amusing in a Borat type of way.
I particularly enjoyed the offer to read from the 1980's literature supporting their cause.
Hehehehe, check out some Star Trek IV Bloopers on youtube.
A bit of political humor this morning in the form of a bumper sticker.
Great youtube clip from Russia of a unique use of a backhoe.
Not always what you think....
:)
There are some really weird things out there! Someone tell me where I can get "Sack II" condoms please.
The Inbox Of Nardo Pace, The Empire's Worst Engineer:
I ask you this: Why is there a chasm in my room? Was it really necessary? What purpose does it serve? Nothing useful has ever come of it. In fact, sometimes when I awake in the middle of the night and stumble in the darkness while making my way to the Imperial Restroom, I mistakenly wobble along the shaft's edge. I also bump my knee on the Imperial Coffee Table, but that is another matter.
Very funny. Read now.
Coding Horror has a funny overview of Software Licenses. For example, the GPL:
The archetypal bearded, sandal-clad free software license. Your code can never be used in any proprietary program, ever! Take that, capitalism!
Ouch, retroactive and socially irrelevant burn on Illiad in todays's Real Life Comics! JD - you going to let this punk get away with that? :)
(On a side note.... ohhh! First piece of actual "UFie" news in ages!)
Another site looking like it wants to capitalize on the success of Places like cute overload is Rippin kitten.
On a related note, here's the Uncyblopedia entry for Steve Ballmer.
Bwahahahahaahahah!
A nice zoomable view of the Google Master Plan whiteboard. Some real gems in there if you want to look deep. Included are turning TCP/IP pink, attaining total information awareness, blowing up parliament, weather control, orbital mind control and something involving a legion of midgets. Or is it minions? Hilarious!
This joke was posted on the Ubuntu-UK mailing list and is apparently subject of controversy due to the fact it could be offensive. Personally I found it funny, but hey, whatever.
Sometimes you can know how the day is going to go from those first few items on Digg and Reddit. Today two items are brought to you from JWZ, the second two from Metro.co.uk.
- OMGWTF. I guarantee this is the weirdest picture you'll see all day.
- Though these come a close second.... make sure you click the other links to see the other masks and other.... uhmm.... 'items'.
- Kermit does 'Hurt'. Some disturbing imagery in there, and I prefer the Johnny Cash version anyway. Still good though.
- A mention of religious persecution for being a pastafarian. More info on the religion and the Flying Spaghetti Monster here.
Forgetfoo found a couple of great videos on Today's YouTube.
Funny read on the Battlestar Galactica Watercooler with some Reader Theories: Zarek’s a Cylon. Or Roslin’s a Cylon.. No spoilers, just interesting theories for the BSG geeks out there.
Via Digg comes Toys that should not exist. What were they thinking!
Via Darren, my morning time-sink... ay And Silent Bob Strike Back: The F*cking Short Version. This is why Kevin Smith is a f*cking genius!
Caution, video may contain just a couple (*cough*) of naughty words :)
Nifty link to a list of cool ads. Especially like the car with the pressed ham about a quarter of the way down the page. Gotta get me one of those for my car! :)
SWEEPTHELEG.COM, a music video of the original Karate Kid movie. Found via Digg.
WTF has a scary story about a really bad (and dangerous, and expensive) production failure. My worst? Probably doing an SQL import with some bad characters which resulted in the update of an entire site of content being replaced with one page (ie: something like update pages set content = 'xxx' where id = x;, except that somewhere in the 'xxx' there was a ";" which caused the entire site to be updated). A database restore lost a days worth of design work from the other person working on the project. Luckily a) the site wasn't in production yet and b) the designer had all the pages he had worked on saved and on his desktop so he just needed to cut/paste his work back in.
I too sleep soundly knowing my code doesn't control pouring giant vats of molten metal :)
Funny air traffic controllers quotes (allegedly real):
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
Old probably and still funny to revisit.
Just plain funny! Thanks Brian!
Someone dug up the alcohol entries in the Guinness Book of World Records:
The strongest known beer in 1979 was EKU Kulminator Urtyp Hell from Kilmbach, West Germany, at 13.2 percent alcohol (1979).
Yay Germany! Actually looks like a lot of those records are held from European nations.
Amusing comment on Zork in the article on the ten most important games.
Darren sends this reminder as to why The IT Crowd is so frickin' hilarious.
And now to distract you from a far too early morning.... cute kittens.
You're welcome!
Very funny chart of how to ask questions.
Very amusing page on One thing PC users can do that Mac users can't...
The Cat Page has surfaced again, in another form. Similar to I can has cheezburger, yet different (equally cute :) This is due to the bandwidth issues that the original location had.
Very funny.... video of the NWA song censored in real time. Hard to describe, and very well executed.
The beautiful and awesome Kethryvis posted Take #1 of white and nerdy, with Donny Osmond. Frickin' hilarious!
Very amusing video of "Torn" in interpretive dance.
Silly, but still funny.
Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why...
On DanWebb.net is The No Shit Guide To Supporting OpenID In Your Applications. The title says it all. No shit :)
Everyone now.... awwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Be sure to click on the pics to get higher res versions.
Cool article called Never fall in love with your code. Because it's crap.
It made me think seriously about all the code I'd written since that time. Is it all crap?
This is defiantly relevant for me for some old projects. Actually no, not just old projects :) Maybe this is why I feel like I've re-written the same project about 5 times now....
Apple Gazette Presents: Create your own Rumor. Mine is:
"One of our spies has given us this exclusive news about a ultra portable macbook pro and wifi enabled appletv in the second quarter 2007".
Sounds good to me!
Anyone got a weekend free? There's a small project on rentacoder that you might want to look at. Hehehehe.. I do love the requirements. I wonder how serious they are, or if they're just slightly clueless about what "new operating system" means... (or "must run all windows applications" means).
Uncomfortable Questions: Was the Death Star Attack an Inside Job?
Good points.....
Funny post from Robert McLaws about If The British Royal Navy Ran Windows Vista (it's a visual one).
Kinda funny until you remember that not that many years ago a navy ship was rendered dead in the water from a windows crash (if I remember the story right.... can't find it right now, I remember it was on slashdot maybe two or three years ago?).
Another link from Darren is Things I Desperately Wish Women Would Say to Me on First Dates.
"Tell me again about the hidden minus world in Super Mario Bros."
Darren pointed me to I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? which is just a collection of kitten pictures in the same vein as these.
Fantastic links from Boing Boing.... Pulp Fiction as typography. Points to two videos. Basically the "What does Marcellus Wallace look like?" scene from Pulp Fiction animated as just text. Very hard to describe and very cool to view.
Dang it, another funny comic to start reading. Don't these people know I have to work during the day! Especially since it was my boss who sent it to me!
This strip also gives some good relationship advice. :)
A neat story from reddit on going fast in Japan.
“Right. Skylines are built for speed. That’s why I love them. Actually… why don’t I show you a bit of speed now? Is that ok?”
Ever gone over 200km/h? This guy has...... by a long shot.
Personally my limit in a car was a wimpy 160km/h by comparison, and that was at night on a deserted stretch of highway, completely paranoid the entire time that an animal was going to jump in front of me, or I'd pass a speed trap and get that "special" attention from the police officer that you get when you get caught doing something exceptionally stupid :)
I completely missed the Oscars last night, and the early showing of "Heroes" for that matter, which sucks, because Al Gore’s big announcement looks absolutely hilarious (a bit long, hang in there till the end though).
A great collection of SNL ads, very fun... back from the days when SNL was good too :)
A great post entitled chalain: So Beautiful, So Disturbing looking at Vista as something slightly different than an OS. Very funny and close to life :)
She looks into cupboard seven. "You are using Gateway Widescreen LCD monitor and Norwood Micro LCD. I have set best resolutions for them. Would you like breakfast?"
Hilarious parody of "Heroes".... Zeroes. Ordinary People, with relatively ordinary abilities.....
Another great worth1000.... this time the subject is penguins!
Darren shot me a link to a video from Jimmy Kimmel where Jimmy Kimmel Tim Hardaway and George Takei answer to Tim Hardaway (Tim being the basketball player who said he hates gay people and George Takae being a gay person). Very funny. Funnier more if you have heard George in his stint on the Howard Stern show as the announcer.
Oh man, I don't know what I'd answer if asked this question. Maybe it's a trick question? Dang funny though :)
Another great photoshop contest at Worth1000.com, this time on demotivational posters.
Man I love the comic xkcd.... especially this one on open source.
Someone please get me this T-Shirt!
Osama Team Hunger Force video at college humor.com. Freakin hilarious, poking fun at the whole fiasco a couple of weeks ago.
A great, though no doubt bored, video editor created a video of Gollum and Smeagol singing to Barry White. Great stuff.
Update: Gollum Noodles, found from my bud Dana.
The title of this video is Microsoft Vista Speech Recognition Gone Bad, but really, it's more of an hilarious lesson on where speech recognition and the real world don't mix. No slight to Vista here, but I'd say that no one should do programming (much less perl) using speech recognition. Truely a display in the supreme patience of the programmer doing it.
A fun game (for men) for if you have some spare time. You can play F*, Marry, Kill at either Frank's marry, shag, kill quiz or F, Marry, Kill on Ning.
Oh man this is hilarious.... Samuel L. Jackson coaching junior hockey as the character from his Pulp Fiction portrayal of Jules Winnfield. Where it came from I have no idea, but holy crap it's funny.
Funny stuff from forgetfoo on how to screw with the minds of your fellow airline passengers. Coursee, doing this will no doubt get you ejected at 30,000 feet...
Found on reddit, here's some Embarrassing Medical Exams:
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Many more where that came from....
Seth points to a site called indexed, which proves that sometimes a picture is worth 1000 words. Some cool stuff :)
Another in the 'I'm in ur xxx, yyying your zzz" series is Dunecat!
UFie-Superb Kethryvis posted a link to some hot Hot Library Smut for those so inclined with a fetish for old books and majestic libraries... perverts! This is totally different than other hardware porn I've posted :)
Gizmodo has an archive of the Super Bowl ads.
The Celler's image of the day for a few days ago is of a moose who came home to stay. Very cute, not sure if my cats would get along with one though.
Even non-Java folks will get a laugh or groan from String Optimizations in Java on the Daily WTF. Java folks (which I'm pretty sure that two of my four readers are) will get even more of a laugh or groan.
The most hilarious comic PvP is now an animated series. Whoop!
Via the buddy Darren..... Mad TV Steve Jobs iPhone spoof. Hilarious!
A most amusing post from Jim Allchin on the Windows Vista Team Blog on what his life will be like on a typical day :)
7:45 AM: Went to check email. Only two pieces. 7:46 AM: Checked network connection to see why I am not getting any email. Everything working perfectly. [...]
By the way, congrats to Microsoft for Shipping Vista!
OMG! Why has no one told me about /dev/bollocks, the A middle-manager emulator for the Linux Kernel. It even has a perl module to help manipulate it. Basically it creates a file in /dev that will spew out random bullshit on demand! Too bad it's kernel 2.4 only :(
Star Wars geeks will appreciate Joey deVilla's "The Empire Strikes Back" Redux, an expansion of the "I am your father" scene in SW:ESB based on the new information we learned in Episodes 1 2 and 3.
Great work on the authors part (and George Lucas of course).
Another post via reddit.com.... some Fun Facts About The End of the World, based on the points of view of different religions, from Christianity to Branch Davidianism.
Dana threw me a link to a video of the Mac version of the James Blunt song "You're Beautiful", called Mac Beautiful. Hilarious (and well done). Thanks dude!
Via Reddit has an image called the truth about myspace, which looks at the types of pictures you see on myspace (of people) and what they really mean.
List of Planned features for Firefox 3. From the article:
# Files could be handled by web services. If I am reading this correctly, this could mean you would be able to click on an attached document and open it with something like Writely or Google Documents. And perhaps, as I asked Santa, the ability to redirect mailto: links to web email services.
# A much needed print support to prevent cut paragraphs and true WYSIWYG.
# The much requested MSI installer which will be a much welcomed improvement for IT administrators as it will ease deployment and updating of Firefox across a company.
# In the security front: support for Microsoft CardSpace and OpenID
See the previous ufies post for more information on OpenID.
Some crazy german stunt , looks like a candid camera type of thing, video is entitled watch your step. It's funny and so mean all at the same time. Here's another one involving a waterbed.
Not to be outdone by Apple's iPhone announcement, Microsoft has struck back with the ZunePhone! Sweet dude!
(Yes, it's a joke)
In preparation for 9pm PST tomorrow here's this years Keynote Bingo!
Thanks David!
Very cool.... roomba + Wii + perl = RoombaWii - The Wii-mote controlled Roomba. Nice to see that an offshoot of the Wii system is that it appears to be quite hackable.
A "ha ha true" article on how the HD disk format wars are over and piracy is the clear winner. Can't say that I disagree myself, the "benefits" given by increasing numbers of these new technologies really seems to be just masquerading erosion or usage rights, if you can see through the (sometimes very) thin veneer that's sloshed over it.
In the mean time, Piracy, the better choice (tm) flourishes. If you take 10 minutes to look around, you will see that every HD movie is now available on P2P networks. I haven't bothered to get one, so I can't comment on the quality, but it sure looks like availability is there. What was an underground clique in the 1980s and 1990s has become mainstream and so vastly much easier to do that it is laughable. Before the technology hits 1% market penetration it is comprehensively cracked and better for the consumer than the legit versions.
Anyway, even if you don't agree and think that any piracy makes you an evildoer going to hell, it's still an interesting look at things from The Inquirer.
RFC 1925 (rfc1925) - The Twelve Networking Truths
(3) With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is not necessarily a good idea. It is hard to be sure where they are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly overhead.
Something for the guys at work I think.
Todays batches of links are via Digg.com and Reddit.com btw, my saturday morning troll through while avoiding doing work in the basement with the other 6 people who are currently working in that crammed little space :)
Not sure if these are really the 100 Funniest Jokes of All Time, there are some good ones in there.
#42 - I was thrown out of NYU. On my metaphysics final, they caught me cheating. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. (Woody Allen)
Here's a very funny powerpoint of bad home inspection pictures. Duct tape used to repair structural timber, that sort of thing.
Funny video / song called ballad of the noob. Amusing no doubt for the WoW folks out there.
Anyone remember Full House? If so, you probably thought that Bob Saget was kinda a lame wanker.... (sorry Bob, but it's true)... the Americas Funniest Home Videos didn't bolster his image. After hearing an interview with Saget on the Stern show revealed this guy is not only a hilarious comic, but nice and dirty as well. Therefor I present to you a find from Digg in the form of a song performed by previously mentioned comic called Danny Taner is Not Gay.
Very amusing scan of v2's Verizon Exit Interview.
Someone's gotten a list of 59 amazing sketches of the Monty Python on YouTube.
This PDF of God's Inbox (found on reddit.com) is more funny for the stuff that's not front and center than the actual inbox. IE: the pics, folders and videos on the desktop in the background.
*grumble* no idea why they had to make it a pdf when a jpg would have done fine though... *grumble*
Neat Smirnoff campaign ads, some NSFW lower down on the page (right after the garden gnomes). Pretty funny stuff.
A new favorite cartoon of mine is What The Duck, humor for photographers. Today is The 100th What the Duck Comic Strip and the author, Aaron Johnson is having a bit of a celebration, with links, guest cartoonists (love the Australian one), and Q&A. Check out the link for more info.
Web ferret extroirdinaire Darren pointed me to a link of Content Management Systems I Would Or Wouldn’t Fuck. Title pretty much says it all.... my CMS Of choice is sadly in the "wouldn't" category:
Looks like it used to be a lot of fun when it was younger; now it just sort of lays there and doesn’t do much. Takes forever to refresh. Spends most of its time changing in and out of different outfits.
Thanks for the early morning laugh dude. Now I have to investigate all the ones in the "would" category.
Cute Firefox ad on YouTube with some good animation.
Another great article from the Onion, this time on PlayStation 3 vs. Nintendo Wii.
Great video of a guy who is a nintendo superfan. "Hopped up on demeral and haven't slept in 5 days".
Wow.
Thanks for the pointer Darren.
Sex Advice from a Dungeons and Dragons Player at Dethroner. Pretty much all that's needing to be said I think. Grabbed from reddit again.
Title says it all: Quotes about Computer Languages. Found via reddit.
More pictures of cats with cute captions. Some old, some new, all cute.
Here are some politicial ones along the same lines. And an explanation of the whole phenomenon of "IM IN UR <noun> <verb>ING UR <noun>" thing.
No, not that sort of virgin. Contrary to reports, not all Star Wars fans are virgins, or so my friends tell me. Someone who hasn't watched any Star Wars movie ever watches all in narrative order and reports. Must amusing.
I would have to watch 14 straight hours of Star Wars all night Friday into early Saturday. With my social calendar predictably empty, I decided now would be the time to give up what so many people already have over the last 30 years.
...
With an extra large coffee in hand, I settled in for Episode I: The Phantom Menace. For someone who has never seen a Star Wars movie, it would be easy to criticize them — and Episode I makes it especially easy.
Disapproving Rabbits has a very simple concept, pictures of rabbits with disapproving looks on their faces. Similar to cats in sinks.com, but with rabbits and no sinks.
That's basically the idea behind Masturbate for Peace.com. Great bumper sticker slogans too. Kinda NSFW, but not really.
What if you had some designers go at world flags? You'd get something like World Flags Remade.
Some of Best of Craigslist is great, some is just awesome. Take for example Dear cat: Don't disturb blinds when I'm watching porn. Simply brilliant.
I love this.... "Office Space" Recut. Scenes from the movie Office Space recut to make it look like a totally different movie. I've seen this before with The Shining (going the other way though).
I've filed this under "funny", but really, I wish I could have given some of these rules to people I've known in the past. The Guidelines for Platonic Friendship has a lot of decent points that can save a lot of confusion for poor guys (and potentially girls as well). IE:
2. No sleepovers. I think of all women who sleep in bed with me as potential sex partners. I spend all my free time trying to coax women in, so if you get in there, I can’t help but think you want some. If you or I need a place to crash sometime, then we should employ a couch. The breaking of this rule is punishable by instant sex.
Hit the site for 15 more gems.
(Note: IE only video :( ). Found on Perez Hilton.com a funny video of people being interviewed outside of K-Fed (Britney Spears' Ex for anyone not tapped into the Hollywood buzz like I am) concert. Not sure if this was the concert that they only sold 300 of the 1500 seats and then delayed starting for 3 hours or not, but they do mention that they were giving away tickets. This deflated my "why are you complaining about how he's the worst performer ever when you went to his concert!?!" argument.
I love celebrity break / melt downs :)
Update: this goes well with the interview with KFed showing him talking about how great their relationship is, then getting an SMS telling him about the divorce.
Man I love cute overload. The captions they have are so right on. Way funnier if you have the slightest knowledge of role playing games :)
My buddy Jay from $work-- pointed me to the latest Vista EULA which is quite amusing (and a joke (I hope)):
Windows DRM: You may not use this system to remove DRM protection from Microsoft-provided media. "Removing DRM" is defined as stripping out protection, reverse-engineering code, using third-party circumvention software, installing non-DRM versions of DRM media, refusing to purchase our media in the first place, or reading Boing Boing.
Read the full thing here.
Video from robot chicken on what really happened with Calvin and Hobbes. Very amusing.
Via Digg.
"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. "
Hehehehehe
This t-shirt says a lot about the big US vote today (note: BSG reference, nothing political).
Peace Through Pork explores how world peace can be achieved by not denying oneself of the lushes crunchy goodness that is bacon (Dead Like Me reference: "triple crispy").
The core element of "Peace Through Pork" is the offering of delicious, fried, cured, pig flesh to passers by. This is done in front of a banner proclaiming the event in english, arabic and hebrew. The desired result of this situation is to provoke individuals to approach a representative and inquire about either the theory of "Peace Through Pork" or express an interest in eating some bacon.
This is similar to the idea that Howard Stern had about sending drugs, pornography, alcohol and strippers to the radical states as it seems like a lot less of a good idea to blow up the western world while you're mellowing out on some bud, a beer or three, and have "Angie" shaking her bootie in front of your face :)
Hit the original boingboing story.
Another from the "oldie but goodie" file come some New Breakthroughs in Mathematics.
Apparently this awful, smutty, discusting act of two young innocent girls enjoying a couple of Popsicles got the Gong Show thrown off the air.
Do not watch this insane act of depravity. No, really, don't click the link!
Now, now this is pretty insane. Check out these pictures of Moscow Traffic. Glad I only have to deal with 3 lanes of traffic each way.....
Video clearly illustrating what happens when you go on autopilot while driving near automatic roadblocks. Heheheh.
Sent over again by my main security dude Dana is the website of Mike O'Connell. Hit the Theater link and then watch the videos, first one has an hilarious and completely not safe for work music video. They have a very similar feel to the comedy as 3 Dead Trolls in a Baggie.
Pets in Tights - lots of pics of dogs dressed up in silly costumes by their owners, all in one place. Also another collection here on CuteOverload.
Hilarious page with Six Word Stories about Programming Languages.... well, funny for programmers anyway :)
Great video of 2 Kung-Fu guys going after a Yoga guy. Entitled simply: KungFu vs. Yoga.
Oh noes! Someone has done something really wrong with Brokeback Galactica. Guess it's a Battlestar Galactica sorta day.....
So what Rules do men have to live by? Here are 28 Man Laws:
It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".(e) When she is using her teeth.
Many others there too (well, 27 more anyway :)
Or rather, Kwotes. Hilarious and similar to Bash.org.
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Hit the site for more.
Ah, it is bash.org, or at least, their database. From the frontpage:
First off, Bash.org sucks... but not their content. They're privately moderated, and not OpenSource, that's not cool. Kwotes is the complete opposite, and excels in more ways than one over Bash.org. It's free and OpenSource, publicly moderated, and 100 times more functional. This site uses Kwotes for those reasons. This database is basically the Bash.org database. Every quote on it (virtually) was taken from the bash.org website.
Super cool.... a Battlestar Galactica music video. Hard to describe, just go watch.
They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.
How many of these just look like really bad ideas? (via digg).
Darren pointed me to this very funny (I'm told) reading by John Hodgman at Codys San Francisco. This is the PC guy from the Apple ads and includes musical accompaniment. From the first 2 minutes it's definitely a must see :)
A list of the Top 46 Things To Do When Your ISP Is Down.
Darren threw me a collection of cat pics with titles.... that about says it all. Most funny and most cute.
"Don't do Witchcraft.... do your homework!
I love Chick tracts...
Without comment I present this image thanks to my buddy Brian.
No idea what "Motion Wave" is, but they have a really cool popup ad. You'll have to allow it with your pop up blocker, and make sure you have your browser set to allow window resizing (the pop up with change size). Very cool and interesting use. Course, if it just popped up on me without being directed to it through internet buzz, it'd be closed right quick :) Also has sound.
Not to be outdone by sponsored research from Microsoft coming to the conclusion that Microsoft is better/faster/more productive and uses less calories, Apple has recommended that 30" monitors increase worker productivity compared to 17" or 19" monitors. Todd Weiss writes about it here.
You don't think that it's a coincidence that Apple has some 30" displays? No, couldn't be.
As an aside I checked out an Apple 30" display in the local Apple store last weekend. Gads the thing was massive, I felt like I'd have to sit on the other side of the room to not have to move my head looking at it. Still a bit pricey for my pocketbook (unless of course you use Scoble Finances, which involves just putting big expensive things on your credit card... :)
Most of the time, man overrides nature. Every once and a while, nature gets it's own.
A collection of really stupid Superman comic book covers.
Title should say it all.... The Web 2.0 Drinking Game.
Flickr
Take a drink for every 10 photos you have uploaded.
Take a drink for every embarrassing photo of yourself you wish you could remove from your friends' pages.
This joke was passed on to me from my buddy Rob F. Probably an old one, still funny though. Hit the read more link to see it....
Letter To A DadA father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad."
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands."Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you
would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion.Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, your son,
John.P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home."
Links to videos of someone's list of the Top 10 Weird Al Videos.
Holy ass-whoopin' batman! Great video of a guy whoopin' two guys asses after one of them smacks his girlfriend. Wowza. Reason #1,854 to not randomly hit women with their boyfriends..... :)
This is funny and scary.... actually, hugely depressing. Don't read about how Sadly, You've Grown Up.
Friggin' hilarious, Dana pointed me to Wierd Al's latest song - White And Nerdy (video on youtube).
A fantastically funny animation entitled In the rough.
Yay! The photographer-targeted online comic strip What The Duck now has it's own site at WhattheDuck.net. Whohooo!
Top Gear does the mini ski jump. Pretty funny, I may have to start watching that show more.
Funny as hell talk on Masturbation Etiquette. You need to sign in to watch as it's not for underage eyes and ears (nothing nasty visually... just a lot of innuendo though :)
I'm constantly amazed at people who believe insanely crazy explanations when they don't understand something. I admit that when I first saw this "ESP" page ages ago, I was amazed as well. However, I wasn't spouting off about parallell universes or alien devices or the untamed power of the mind....
An amusing view/rant in the DPReview forums on the different classes of EOS DSLR users.
30D users -
[...]
The correct attitude for owners of the 20D is one of reserved sympathy.
Probably more amuinsg for anyone whose wandered through the newbie filled forums on dpreview for any amount of time.
As a pentax user I have to look down my nose at everyone else of course....
The War on Terror (tm)(c)(r) as seen from the BASH shell. Bwahahahaahaha!
Some great entries from the Pluto Worth1000 photoshop contest.
Funny video on learning from history via the Trojan Horse. Amusing watch.
Title pretty much says it all.
Saw this over from Digg.... the iTank... a cast aluminum case for your iPod. Not exactly elegant, but for people like my brother in law, who works on an excavator and is always having phones/mp3 players/etc broken due to the fact he's working on, well, an excavator, this is perfect.
Greg posted an amusing little ditty entitled Our customers are dumb, part 9000000000.... it brought much amusement to my department :)
Amusing story about neighbors, and ones solution to bitching about view obstruction.
Yes, it's a slow news day :)
Another phenomenon I was completely unaware of until just now.... Angry german kid. See also the Angry German Kid vs. Numa Numa Kid mashup. Fred, or anyone who knows german, any translation as to what the guy is ranting about?
Passed on at work.... extra cardboard needed for this one.
Again probably the last to see this.... What The Duck, online comic strip about a photographer.
Some great Star Trek Inspirational Posters that I'll be printing up for the office when I get home :)
Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Ensign Ricky are beaming down to the planet. Guess who's not coming back.
First of all, I'm not a starcraft player... I post this video of the "Perfect SCV Rush" for 3 simple reasons.
- The concentration of the players
- The branding and sponsorship on the players
- The insane excitement of the announcer (if only I knew what he was saying)
Oh, there's something about taking out an opponent using only working units or something... :)
I'm wondering how/why the video was put online, but hey, it's funny. Not Safe For Work by any means (teenage boobies), but still damn funny. Also a really good reason not to wear headphones while doing a striptease :)
I gotta love the love that people feel for their fellow man, regardles of their race (well, maybe not race) creed (uhm.... ) sexual orientation (maybe not..) or religion. Here's some amusing hatemail that the Flying Spaghetti Monster has recieved.
hey,u know what none cares Wat u think about God's sense of humor,u know what u may not be christian but,there's lot of people out there trying 2 seek God n they don't need any info, about God by u so,i think it will b better if u stop n start acting more like a christian even if u r not .
Have you been touched by his noodly appendage?
[via fark]
Nothing says amusing more than a 1965 Anti-Pornography Propaganda film. Some great quotes....
- No matter who buys this material, 75 to 90% of it ends up in the hands of our children.
- The so-called "Girly magazines"
- Obviously calculated to stimulate the reader!
- ... a vociperous minority in our society....
I could go on....
I'm sure everyone's seen these already on youtube or whatever, but here's a link to the page for the mac spoof commercials..... here's the networking (porn!) one.
Mmm.... midgets......
The Fake Leopard Screenshot Contest Winners are up. Some of the ideas winner) have some great ideas... now to see if the real thing lives up to the fake expectations :)
Hehehehe... all you RPG geeks will appreciate this pic of a kid whose Dad is a Hard-Core Gamer!
Hehehe, someone made a great Funny Professional iPod Spoof. Introducing the iPod "Flea"! Whoho! Is this what WWDC holds for us?
Great list of 75 Things We Love and Hate about Star Wars, via digg. Notice how all the 'great dialog' lines seem to come from the first three movies, and the 'horrible [dialog|ideas]' comes from the last (first) three? Hmm...
This post is in the "funny" cateory for everyone but the Steven in question. Man cheats, wife finds out, rents billboard. Blog post here.
Thanks Darren for the post :)
Update: People smell bullshit.
Random list of 25 Cinematic Cliches I Never Wanna See Again. Not hugely great, good for a Tuesday morning diversion though.
8. All computer keyboards or control panels have thousands of volts just underneath their surface, and their malfunctions are indicated by a puff of smoke and a cartoonish shower of sparks.
The ever popular Lewis Black from The Daily Show has another great (illegal, copyrighted, RIAA fodder) clip on YouTube where he rails on Harry Potter Camp.
After a lunchtime troll through digg's top videos I found this great clip from the daily show rightfully belongs on top. Watch to the end where Colbert just loses it in an inuendo filled report on the british royal family :)
Based on this video I'm convinced that all english language education in Japan is done by three girls in oversized bikinis repeating the words over and over again while making odd arm motions. (via digg).
Anything entitled Dear Crazy-As-Bat-Shit-Lady: The fridge doesn't come with a pedigree! just has to be funny :)
2. What part of 'buyer must pick up' in the ad was confusing to you? Yes, I have a vehicle. No, I don't want to haul your fridge all the way to East BumbleFuck on the hottest day of the year. No, I'm really really sure I don't want to do that. No, really. I'm sure.
Are people really this stupid?
Well, yea, I guess they are...
From the tales of the wierd comes a Maury show clip about a girl with a pickle phobia. Now that's messed up. I just wish Maury would tell these people <godfather voice>BE A MAN!</godfather voice> Seriously, these people have some fubar issues and are put on display for the ridicule of the TV audience.
A very funny video of how MS has been innovating lately. Punish your Microsoft developer is apparently from an MS event, but as it's the first time I've seen it I figured I'd share.
Very funny video of Harvard Class Day Speech 2006. Via Digg.
Interesting and funny look at Levels of HTML knowledge. I personally fall somewhere in between level 3 and 4. How about you? Via digg.
A mildly amusing list of annoying interview questions and answers.
"Tell me 3 of your weaknesses." "I work too hard. I never ask for a big enough raise. I tend to lie when I'm asked stupid questions."
-- Bit Brain
I might be the last one on this bandwagon (again), but the internet is for porn song (and it's various other versions) are just hilarious. Now I'm going to be singing this all day!
Probably hugely illegal, but there is a site with all calvin and hobbes comic strips. Gotta love that tiger :)
Found this amusing post on Planet Gnome, brings out the side of me jaded by advertising :)
Ever wondered what it'd be like to reprogram those street signs beside the road? Well, this guy did. Amusing :)
I have no idea what the show with zefrank is, but it's pretty funny.
Homemade Animal Costume images. Almost guarenteed to be the most bizarre thing you see today.
Darren pointed me to a page called White Men Cant Rap where...
I think we've found that man. Step aside Jay Z, move on Eminem we are proud to present the real prophet of rhymes.
About half the video is the guy explaining things, after that it's sheet white rapper glory!
As my buddy Boone says, it's not often you see someone upgrade their car by putting a motorbike in. Sadly not the best res for the video, still neat to watch though.
... if you do, check out the Reg story on Yahaya Wahab, who got a �126 trillion phone bill. I'm pretty sure there is a decimal place carried somewhere.
Argument #18 for natural selection....
... As far as mascots go we are partial to an intestine-trailing Tauntaun named "Gutsy" or a one-armed Wampa dubbed "Lefty".
They have my vote!
Note that the voice is Bill Gates' keynote :)
Update Mirrored here.
On an unrelated note, could someone please let me know which USB port doojigger gives me the least varience for my joystick on my dream box? :) Just because my fully configured system tops $10k CND doesn't mean anything does it?
If only it were that easy...
A musical reinforcement when child first sits and a royal fanfare with each success!Anyone else see their kids being conditioned that if musical fanfare doesn't play after each "success" that they didn't do it properly? Will they provide a seat for adults to reverse this conditioning?
I want to hear an example of the "fanfare" myself.... Check out the detail.... some parts include "sensor" and "deflector shield". Be sure to check out demo.
I'm speechless. Honestly.
(Note: read all the way through before NOT attempting anything listed in there :)
6. Wow. Leave your balls alone. Seriously, holy cow. Those are your balls. You guys are sitting, maybe, three feet apart. Jesus, man. There is not a dating guidebook in the world that would even conceive of writing a chapter called "Don't Play With Your Balls (on the First Date)" because any mammal with the gift of literacy would not even consider this a "Do I or Don't I?" kind of question. Wow. There you go again.Good funny to wake up to on a tuesday after being awake till 2am!
On a related note (as in, also a funny blog entry) a review of the fashion highs and lows of religious extremists is a good read. Critisism of the fashion sense of the god hates [fags|shri-lanka|pope|america|everyone-but-us] people.
Update: Illegal mirror of Iconwars from my cache.
"what do you need buddy?"
"... ambulance...."
Not that I like to laugh at the misfortune of others, but that's damn funny :)
- One Season More - a musical with cool rendering, but (to me) only interesting for the rendering.
- Sith Apprentice - a take off of The Apprentice, pretty funny.
- American Jedi - Obi-Wan goes back to high school, absolutely frickin' hilarious.... "slip me your hairy wookie!" Bwahahahahahha!
Course, nothing beats Troops....
Thanks dude.
We hope to build a Hobbit Hole. Yes, we mean a subterranean dwelling as described above. No, it will not be in Middle Earth, and no, we are not (completely) insane. We are actually quite serious about doing this.Hey, who wouldn't want a real life hobbit hole?
I stepped closer to the job, firmly planting my feet under the car for leverage and continued to turn. When the bolt finally gave way it stopped doing what it was supposed to do, which was to HOLD THE ENGINE IN THE CAR. The back of the engine fell on to the driveway and on my FIRMLY PLANTED FEET.
Via Going Canuck.
Spotlight's biggest claims to fame, presumably, are its near-instant search results and support for document meta data, both of which are, again, planned features of Longhorn. But no matter. While Apple has been busy copping Windows features since Jobs returned to Apple in late 1996, the company's tiny market share ensures that very few people will benefit from Spotlight, despite Apple claims that it will deliver on desktop search a year before Microsoft ships Longhorn.Anyone tried this? Will it use Firefox if it's the default browser? Will it search firefox browser cache? How does it deal with the security implications that google's desktop search had to deal with? None of these questions, funnily enough, are answered in the review.
Then, in October 2004, Google released a buggy Google Desktop Search beta just two months after the company heard about Microsoft's plans to release a beta MSN desktop search tool by the end of 2004. [...] The most notable feature of Google Desktop Search, so far, has been its widely-publicized security bugs.
...
Maybe you're using the new MSN Search beta to find out information about your favorite musical group. If you search for that band's name, the first link on MSN Search will direct you to MSN Music, from which you can find out more information, or even buy music, which is kind of amazing.
Update: After a few minutes and a download I found the answers. Sort of (sometimes it opens an IE window, sometimes it's firefox), sort of (by default it only searches email and the My Documents folders, but you can tell it to search all folders or specific locations, not sure if it'll recognize the browser cache for what it is), and kinda (see previous answer, I think that it will have the same problems with security as the google solution if you choose to search all files and folders).
Additionally I notice it's IE toolbar looks a lot like the google toolbar for IE, and the popup blocker has a wack of msn type sites allowed by default, and it also has the ability to automatically fill in form information, including credit card info. Oh, and if this is a beta why is the version number in the 'add remove programs' set as 2.0?
But go on, drink the kool-aid and know it's the best thing since sliced bread.
Etan also posts some of his thoughts on the newly released iTunes 4.7.
Update2: Here's another copy from an updated story.
This is almost as good as this pinky video which I'm happy to say that the cat gets it's own back in the end :) Hat tip to jwz for this one.
I love the internet!
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."Truer words were never spoken...
-- M. Golding
Q: I've heard that cardio vascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your Heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the Life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Need grain?
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Bottoms up!
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular Exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
Woohoo!
DarrenBarefoot points tor papernapkin.net, a rejection service. Short story is when someone asks you for your email address, you give them <anyname>@papernapkin.net, and when they email they get this to the point reply.
I love crazy people :) Of course, if the aliens are coming, I retract this entry.
Kudos Derek.
Code. Code belong on hard drive. Code tell a C.P.U. to do stuff. You get code, you save code, you tell box to run code! O.S. do what code say, so if you get owned, is your fault cuz you tell O.S. to run code! This just fine!
Read the rest...
The Moralist (aka The Anti-Microsoft Bigot)Hey! He's talking about me!
Unlike The Guru, The Moralist doesn't necessarily need to have any (supposedly) advanced technical skills. (which actually makes them more dangerous.) These fuckers acquire their zealotry through good ol' fashion fundamentalist ignorance. most of it is such spew infested bullshit, it's amazing that anything these people say is being listened to on any level.
King George Bush's bus trip across western Wisconsin closed schools and roads, prevented residents from moving freely in their own communities, and prevented citizens from exercising their free speech rights.Makes you think, eh? Or at least, I hope it does.
As a friend of mine mentioned it is possible to get 0 errors back from ad-aware by using your computer smartly (not running IE, watching cookies, changing your security zone, not running as admin), but in my opinioin this isn't the way that most "normal" people work. They turn on the computer and use what is available, click on pop ups, click executables that come in email, and are blissfully are hosts to adware, spyware, worms and viruses. The number of worms and crap that float around support this theory :)
Microsoft, ladies and gentlemen, is a cheap whore. She lives on the fringes of the law, but theres no getting rid of her because she fulfils a certain need in our society. People want what she is selling.Great post :)
[...]
I have bought more software for my Mac than I ever did for my Windows PCs, most of it shareware. Is it really that much higher quality? Or am I buying her presents?
I need to make it absolutely clear that for legal reasons, neither Joe Peacock nor Mentally Incontinent can recommend that anyone ever reenact the following descriptions of my actions If anyone chooses to take it upon themselves to reenact the following plan, we cannot be held liable for the outcome. (We do, however, heartily endorse them if you do them. We wont accept responsibility for your actions, but we WILL send you some awesome greeting cards and pat you on the back once you are released from jail.)
No complaints. The rubber Neo dummy the good guys use to distract the gang of Agent Smiths in Reloaded is rendered in meticulous detail.:)
2 minute penalty for racial slur.
REASON NOT CHANGED:
To many penalties would delay the game.
Ah, gotta love it. Read a few of the letters and you'll see everything from an analysis of the nipple decoration and why it's not something that's worn every day to likening the viewing of a nipple to the end of days. One letter linked above notes that "just a few years ago the word homosexual was an outrage (it was?), and now half the country wants to sanction gay marriage", then matches this up with a nipple today, everyone walking around naked tomorrow. Isn't this the "slippery slope" argument that the fundamentalists are always talking about? Or is that the lefties? Or both? It's a pretty flawed argument anyway. I think that this guy should really take a look at what else is on TV before getting up in an outrage over something he probably only heard about after the fact (my guess). Luckily there are voices of reason in there too: "send [me] the money/resources & I will give it to some poor children who won't be able to eat tonight."
Erhm... so yea, read the funny letters. Thanks Fark.
About the same here, can't get past level 30...Remember the Warthog vid called "Warthog Jump: A Halo Physics Experiment" where they were showing a bug in the physics in the game Halo? Throw some nades under the vehicle and watch it launch. Was a well done video at the time (in case you haven't seen it)
Well, now there is a flash version you can play yourself. It just sucked me in for a good 30 minutes. Unfortunately... I can't get past level 30.
30 levels in 30 minutes. How about you?
Page two is interesting as well, a music video (of sorts) in a foreign language (spanish perhaps?), but it's catchy.
Security is one of those workloads where Linux is getting traction, partly because we don't have a firewall appliance offering today. We have technologies, but we don't have a lockdown, hardened firewall that we can put in.I think I speak for myself when I say that the reason Linux is getting traction in security technologies is that it's proven itself to be stable and secure, whereas Microsoft's track record for security and stability are horrible. That is why I think that Linux is making tracks in the security space.
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down."Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."Thanks Dave for the list!
Anyway, for the above link I have to say that #8 is my favorite:
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
Dear Tide:
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you
have! I've used it since the beginning of my married
life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that
I am older and going through menopause, I find it
even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stains out using a bargain detergent, but they just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well, that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!
I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...
Signed,
A relieved menopausal wife
(link via J-walk) [Hi. Im Black!]
Somebody just might listen to this:I hate you.
I hate you because you use Outlook Express.
I hate you because you open "those virus attachments" and make the internet suck just a little bit more for the rest of us.
I hate you because you think you're protected because of that "Norton thingie" in the system tray, even though it cannot catch new viruses.
I hate you for not using a firewall.
I hate you for using Internet Explorer and getting infected with spyware.
I hate you because right now your computer is being used to flood the internet with spam, because that virus gave control of your computer to a spammer.
I hate you because you don't care.
I hate you because you pirated that software that secretly contained a trojan.
I hate you because you don't password your computer. (NEWS FLASH: if you don't use a password, half of the hacker's work is already done.)
I hate you because you don't realize that as soon as somebody breaks in to your computer, you no longer own it.
I hate you because you farking purchased a Windows computer and didn't farking bother to secure it.
I hate you because anybody with sufficient time, money, and workers could take over your computers and cripple networks with flooding.
I hate you.
This has been brought to you by the "If you're not going to play any games buy an Apple because it's actually secure by default; and if you already own Windows turn your effing firewall on and get a Mozilla or Opera product instead of using Internet Explorer and Outlook Express (although you can use IE occaisionally if the site doesn't work) and then you should get Spybot Search & Destroy, install it, update it, and remove the spyware on your computer" coalition.
War Is PeaceThere are also some great posters and other tidbits. Take it as a parody or a political view, or an unpatriotic view that should be reported to the ministry of justice immediately, whatever turns your crank.
Oceania (commonly called the US and Britain) is at war with AfghanistanIraq. Oceania has always been at war withAfghanistanIraq.
[...]
Freedom Is Slavery
The Anti-Terrorism Act ensures US citizens' freedom by ensuring the FBI's ability to examine their activities.
I have to agree a bit. I had my own 'blog' 8 years ago when it was just something for me to write my stuff in and my only readers were my parents and the only reason they read was to see if I was going to be around on the weekend to come by for dinner. Nowadays it's the latest fad, everyone has one, people are pushing them as some sort of innovative way to do office communications, social networking blah blah blah blah.
I have no doubt that blogs will continue on in some form or another just as diarys and ships logs have for years and years now, but I do think that the current trackback, moblog, blogroll craziness will die out in a while when people realize that (as the article says) "All your blogs talk about the same crap".
9. Best performance by mountain beacons
8. Biggest elephants
7. Best Evil Lighthouse in any movie in all of 2003.
6. The National Cherry Tomato Board would like to make sure that John Noble is nominated for best actor for his work as Denethor.
5. "Most Costumed Geeks in Theatre since Star Trek 6"
4. Best use of recycled pointed ears left over from collapsed "Star Trek" franchise.
3 rings for the elven kings
2. Best title ripped off from that of 3rd "Star Wars" film.
1. Those cheesy green ghosts didn't get nominated for "Eddie Murphy Haunted Mansion". Let's nominate them for their ROTK cameo instead.
Outside the Inbox is a compilation of songs inspired by and titled after the subject lines of mass-email (spam).I've only listened to one song so far, but I look forward to listening to the rest!
I can assure you that the thread of fark has a laugh or three in it. Some of my favorites:
- " So, basically, now there's a way to get porn on your computer by NOT paying for it?"
- "
Please save the images to C:\Documents and Settings\Administrator\Desktop
Thanks!" - "I won't be able to send them the money until I get the guys in Nigeria paid off."
- "yeah, what's the catch?"
Instructions:
Click once to get the elves running. Click again (when you think you should) to start pulling down the catapult. Release the mouse when you want to fling santa.
MANAGEMENT COURSE...
Lesson One:
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle &asked him, "Can I also sit like you &do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
Management Lesson?
"To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up."
Read on for more....
Lesson Two:
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
Management Lesson?
"BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there."
Lesson Three:
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
Management Lesson?
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Just because NBC's new reality show isn't a Law and Order spin off doesn't mean it's "radically different." In fact, it's a spin off of some of the worst TV I've avoided this decade. Though I'm sure the fact that the show features you has nothing to do with your opinion.
Love, Alan
Dear TV Producers and Executives from the major networks,
Please stop creating reality shows. They are over done. You have had reality shows, reality shows that were parodies of reality shows, fake reality shows, fake reality shows the second season, fake reality shows that are aired twice in a row with the schmoe's commentary in a transparent attempt to bleed it for all it's got, rip offs of reality shows, and reality shows that require subtitles and still suck.
Please stop. We the people of north america can't take anymore. Saying that "the market is driving this" doesn't cut it when you give the market nothing to watch but shitty reality shows. Complaining about how people are pirating other TV shows that don't suck via p2p networks shows you have no clue.
Please stop and let reality television go down as a footnote on the stupidity of mankind at the start of the decade in some future history book. Please.
Love, Alan