Why do I feel like singing the rubber duckie song?
Sipping my Mocha I have to agree with The Doghouse Diaries about What Your Coffee Says About You. I am creative dammit!
How 99.9% of people judge the quality of their coffee. I’m a sucker for coffee comics.
Remember the crazy sorority letter that was going around last week? This week brings two (that I’ve found so far) dramatic readings of it:
Both are very NSFW (language) of course.
Funny or Die’s iSteve is out and alive, for free, all 80 minutes of the first (and fastest written) movie about Steve Jobs.
A compelling argument: Don’t be a Padhole over at the Best Page In The Universe.
Just because your tablet can take pictures doesn’t mean it should. The phrase that carpenters and handymen live by is, “use the right tool for the right job.” It’s possible to hammer a nail with the butt of a gun, but just because you can, doesn’t mean you should.
Samsung Galaxy Mega is official and comes in 6.3- and 5.8-inch sizes. I know Samsung wants to not be Apple, but this is starting to get stupid. Please show me a picture of someone using this phone and not looking like a complete dork.
No further comment needed!
Sport Balls Replaced With Cats Tumblr site.
I just found my new favorite site on the internet.
The no-BS version of the Chrome Blink FAQ is just a wee bit incendiary.
While you can certainly read the source code, we’re fully aware that actually tracking and understanding a modern HTML renderer is extremely difficult. In addition, the first changes we will make are intended specifically to break compatibility with WebKit, so the only organisation with sufficient resources to track our changes will no longer be able to do so.
I think it’s a joke, but a bit of a ha ha only serious joke.
Fantastically bizarre and awesome TED talk: Kees Moeliker: How a dead duck changed my life
Well worth the watch.
Joey DeVilla found quite possibly the most awesome footage you’ll see today. Spider-Man on 1970s TV. Both the trailer and a full episode.
Utter ’70s epicness.
Funny or Die Releases Teaser Trailer for ‘iSteve’. Not a lot of “real” content in it, but I still can’t wait for the movie to come out, even if it is a bit of a farce. April 15 folks!
The First Honest Cable Company commercial.
NSFW language. But so, so true.
Just when you thought that stupid and insane laws were reserved only for the US, my boss pointed out that in the UK, a Canvey Island school has banned triangle shaped flapjacks.
Catering staff at the school have been told only to serve square or rectangular flapjacks. […] A spokesman for the Health and Safety Executive said: “We often come across half-baked decisions taken in the name of health and safety, but this one takes the biscuit.
The fact that they have a ‘three point guide’ to flapjacks as the sidebar, and the article is fraught with puns makes me unconvinced this isn’t an Onion story.
I love Gary Oldman. Unsurprisingly, the Gary Oldman Loses His Shit Supercut makes me happy.
TechDirt reports on how Rep. Gohmert’s Record For Stunning Technological Ignorance Is Broken By… Rep. Gohmert
My goodness. Yesterday we posted about Rep. Louis Gohmert’s incredible, head-shakingly ignorant exchange with lawyer Orin Kerr during a Congressional hearing concerning “hacking” and the CFAA. In that discussion, Gohmert spoke out in favor of being able to “hack back” and destroy the computers of hackers — and grew indignant at the mere suggestion that this might have unintended consequences or lead people to attack the wrong targets. Gohmert thought that such talk was just Kerr trying to protect hackers.
If you’ve ever wondered why laws about computers and technology doesn’t change, take a look at at the article and video and understand this is someone who is in charge, in part, of the US and it’s laws and direction.
I have no words.
Ok, Google60 is pretty damn cool.
Don’t Link This points out that College Humor made a live action Dora the Explorer in three parts.
I love the internet.
Fantastic take on E.T. THe Extraterrestrial if it were a sic-fi horror movie.
Note: If you don’t like ET to begin with, this is the stuff nightmares are made of.
I will buy a cookie for anyone who writes a working StackSort implementation. Two cookies if it doesn’t occasionally crash my computer. Three if it occasionally crashes StackOverflow.
Note: If you’re not a programmer this will be O^n less funny than if you are.
This entry for QuickTime 4.0 in the Interface Hall of Shame is a great read. From what I see (I don’t remember it myself, or blocked it out) it well and truly deserves to be there.
The application does provide additional means to determine the names of one’s favorite media files, but the user must go somewhere else. The application’s menu bar offers a function labelled “Organize Favorites”, which when selected provides a standard listbox containing the names of the favorites. The listbox allows the user to rename favorites, delete favorites from the list, and reorder items in the list; these functions are notably unavailable from the Favorites Drawer itself. The Organize Favorites dialog is not without its own design problems. Surprisingly, the Organize Favorites dialog does not allow the user to Add favorites to the list, for that, the user has to …go somewhere else.
Anyone who thinks that Apple can do no wrong and has always produced winning software out of the gate that should be a beacon of light to the other doldrums of software out there needs to read this.
Seriously, what were they thinking?!
I’ve tried to avoid this for as long as possible, but yea, if you go to youtube and search for do the harlem shake, yea, it does it.
Kids these days.
Unsurprisingly, a Viral video showing Sun’s motion through galaxy is wrong.
However, there’s a problem with it: It’s wrong. And not just superficially; it’s deeply wrong, based on a very wrong premise. While there are some useful visualizations in it, I caution people to take it with a galaxy-sized grain of salt.
You don’t have to be into cycling to appreciate this Open Letter to Assos over at Fatcyclist.com
Now, I firmly believe that when a company does something right, they ought to hear about it. They deserve our praise and respect. And that’s why I’m writing to you today: to give you kudos for your latest ad, supporting your limited edition SS.Lady ellisse jersey:
You do have to read the full thing to get it.
Thanks to my buddy @curtismchale for tweeting this out.
God Made a Sysadmin is a beautiful tribute to sysadmins. It’s possibly the most beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.
I’m keeping this in a constant loop.
Commit Logs From Last Night is another great site making the rounds today. No RSS feed (fail), but a great little webapp that looks for “interesting” messages in github commit logs. If you scroll 2/3 thorugh the scraper for what they search for.
Coding Confessional is just what it sounds like, a place for developers to confess their sins.
You had one job! Great site with a nice collection of cases of people with, well, just one job to do, and screwing it up.
A Guide To Driving In India Without Dying is hilarious. Thanks for the link Aryk.
Happy Phil Collins Day. Yes, it’s a real thing, not just another day in paradise.
Heard about it for the last day without actually watching the video. So glad I did: Watch the Canadian Parliament Hilariously Debate the Zombie Apocalypse.
Proud to be a Canadian, happy that my government is assuring that my beautiful country will never be a safe haven for zombies.
Great rant on reading news on the web called No, I’m not going to download your bullshit app.
Can’t say I disagree (other than the throwing your phone off the roof part).
Internet Explorer parody ad. Make sure you watch it all the way to the end to see what it’s really about. Pretty awesome.
Great story of how the Starfish smartwatch saga illustrates entrepreneurial stumbling blocks at MacWorld/iWorld this year.
What’s more, the photo in the advertisement appears to defy my own understanding of how such a wristwatch could work: The interface is clearly not just scaled but resized to fit the watch’s square display; it doesn’t match the aspect ratio of either the iPhone 5’s display or that of earlier iPhone models—it looks closer to the sixth-generation iPod nano than anything else. And assuming the AirPlay connection did work and the interface could be resized as shown in the ad, how could the watch be interactive?
Via Daring Fireball.
The answer on reddit courtesy of imaginelove615, commenting on the ‘how does it feel to pass a kidney stone’ subreddit:
My family gets these a lot and as true rednecks, we have a cure! First, you need supplies: a case of dark beer (Guinness Black works best), a gallon of cranberry juice, and a gallon of water.Call your friends and family for moral support. Chug a beer. Chug a glass of cranberry juice. Chug a glass of water. Repeat until you’re too drunk to feel and your bladder is about to burst. Go to the bathroom. If you hear something that sounds like a bb hitting a hubcap, congrats! If not, time to keep drinking.
Actual Facebook Graph Searches is the best tumblog I’ve found lately.
Coworker pointed me to this lovely memory: Terry Tate: Office Linebacker definitely brings a smile to my face.
Meowbify by Mobify lets you put in a site and get back the site, but with cats.
“I can’t tell the difference between Ufies.org and the meowbified version!” — an unnamed friend.
You can also hack the source yourself if you need to.
Today’s Doghouse Diaries on How Things Work makes me happy that I’m not the only clueless person as far as explaining technology.
Best Fails of 2012 via forgetfoo.
He’s The Computer Man is possibly the best thing I’ve found on the internet, ever.
Full kudos go to my tame designer Joe for finding it.
I have no idea what the movie is about, but the ‘This Is The End’ Trailer is pretty damn funny.
xkcd on Instagram. To the point and always the best.
The Verge has a good video series on The End: A journey through America’s doomsday obsession, preparing for the end of the world, just under 24 hours away (don’t believe what the Australians are saying, they’re not on GMT.
Seriously, if you really think that anything is going to happen at 11:11 CST (UTC -6) on the 21st, give your head a shake and grow up. Or send me all your money and possessions, since the world’s ending anyway.
First thing, head over to the main Youtube page, note the awesome logo modifications in the top left. Then click on it for the YouTube Rewind 2012. Gotta say that Google went all out with this one, it’s awesome.
Also… Felicia Day. Yowza. Call me k?
Since the end of the world is approaching, you’ll want to know How to photograph the Apocalypse. Some great tips in here, even if you’re only an amateur photographer, but want to capture some stunning or informative images of the end of all humanity.
Singing Terrified Jingle Bells While Riding Around Race Track in a BMW is the sort of Christmas Music I can get behind.
I link to this because I love everything that the Oatmeal does and everything that he writes: I wrote a response to Jack Stuef’s BuzzFeed article about me.
13 minutes of Driving in Russia. Most of your questions will be answered by reading the text below the video. IE:
Question #1: Why did I end up watching all 13 minutes of this video? A: Because it’s one literally unbelievable thing after another.
I haven’t heard about this series before, but the Honest Trailer for The Avengers is pretty damn funny.
It appears Apple’s launch of iTunes music and movies in Russia is running into a bit of controversy with several Russian users noticing advertising for pornography websites and escort services in the iTunes’ movies section. As highlighted in the many tweets below, and reported by local blog iPhones.ru, a section titled “more films in different languages” is displaying the pornographic content. iPhones.ru speculated it might relate to an issue with temporary xxx placeholder links (machine translation):
Personally I could have predicted the headline:
“In Soviet Russia, Porn blocks Apple.”
This is completely hilarious.
This Nostalgic Windows 7 launch party fan-fiction is worth if purely for the video.
Saw this being passed around this morning: Look at this Instagram (Nickelback Parody).
I love College Humor.
The (as noted in the title of the site, NSFW) site Terrible Linux Wallpaper is a great collection of some of the worst examples of wallpaper for linux. I know I might be a bit of a design snob, but come on guys really? (Lets ignore my own work from long ago in this area).
Great look at The past and future of popular logos, from Coke to KFC to Ford. Hilarious future versions.
Skyfall Proves that James Bond is a Time Lord. Impeccable logic. Beware, Skyfall spoilers in the text.
I saw Skyfall last night, and after breaking it down, I can come to only one conclusion: this is the Bond film in which it is revealed that James Bond is a Time Lord.
If you don’t follow text from dog, you’re missing out.
For those who couldn’t care less, but want a humorous look, check out Twilight - a summary by `kangel on deviantART.
The talking one from Penn and Teller speaks out with the secrets of “Celebrity Apprentice” and the byline of “Donald Trump is a whackjob!”
Like all desperate celebrities, I’ve been on more than one reality show. I also did “Dancing with the Stars.” I was amazed to find out that “The Celebrity Apprentice” was more honest and straightforward than “DWTS.”
Color me unsurprised.
I don’t agree with terrorist tactics, but the fact that Gay Men Will Marry Your Girlfriends if You Don’t Support Gay Marriage seems a compelling way to make a point.
Seriously, all these men would be way better husbands than I am right now. They are all ripped.
Funny video Poking Fun at Clueless DSLR Users as part of a mirrorless camera marketing campaign.
I’m secretly terrified I’m all of those people. You guys would tell me if I was, right?
Famous Musical Artists Remixed to Sound Like Different Music Genres. Yup, exactly what it says. Also as awesome as you think it will be. The death metal version of Beiber is possibly my favorite.
Originally cribbed from an Ars forum post, but I had a little giggle at the list of The Apple Haters’ 7 Stages of Grief.
I’ll give you up to 5 or 6 personally, but I don’t know about 7.
Note: Pretty sure a find/replace of “Apple” for “Android” or [your favorite company] will work just as well :)
5 Second Films posted A Real Found Footage Horror Movie. Most realistic one I’ve ever seen.
Thanks to my buddy Squiz for the link.
My internet pal Marco went and visited An alternate universe called The Microsoft Store and got to play with a Surface RT and some MS salespeople. Not all went as planned.
I gave up. It was like arguing with a Tea Partier. But I figured, now that I had broken character a little, I’d risk a bit more. […]
Realistically, fanboy or not this is the point of view of an Apple Person looking at competing tablets, I’m sure that a similar review could be written by a Microsoft Person in an Apple Store. Marco’s a good writer though, and does well to identify some good points about the Surface, and MS’s approach to the tablet market in general.
Apple’s products say, “You can’t do that because we think it would suck.” Microsoft’s products say, “We’ll let you try to do anything on anything if you really want to, even if it sucks.”
[…] Moreover, no one on the committee can identify who or what instilled Dr. Jones with the belief that an archaeologist’s tool kit should consist solely of a bullwhip and a revolver.
So many problems to solve….
Seems to be the story of the day today, where A tech support scammer dials Ars Technica and gets, well, you can imagine. Read the article.
When the call came yesterday morning, I assumed at first I was being trolled—it was just too perfect to be true. My phone showed only “Private Caller” and, when I answered out of curiosity, I was connected to “John,” a young man with a clear Indian accent who said he was calling from “Windows Technical Support.” My computer, he told me, had alerted him that it was infested with viruses. He wanted to show me the problem—then charge me to fix it.
A Photo Album full of an OCD sufferers worst nightmares.
So Gruber linked to this video entitled Devs, BlackBerry Is Going To Keep On Loving You.
I can’t believe this isn’t a spoof, parody or with tongue jammed firmly in-cheek.
I don’t know if the Tourettes Karaoke version of Lional Richie’s ‘Hello’ is “real” tourettes, but it’s still pretty damn funny.
Note: NSFW language, unless you have a workplace without a good HR policy :)
The awesome Gentlemen’s Rant guys have put out the “Banned” iPhone 5 Ad that Parodies Apple’s Design Video. I love my iPhone and everything, but this is absolutely hilarious.
The latest video to be released goes after a favorite punching bag in the movie world, Twilight. Multiple conversations between Edward (Robert Pattinson) and Bella (Kristen Stewart) are re-dubbed with some of the most absurd dialogue you can think of, including one of the most dramatic discussions about cake ever spoken. Strangely enough, the writing here feels better than the actual movie.
The title basically covers it. Long read, but worth it I think. Kudos to the RasberryPi guys for standing their ground when a Nutjob attempts to extort $35 computer from non-profit foundation.
The most awesome video of 2 Hamsters in 1 Wheel you will see today.
Remember a few days ago when someone completely botched the restoration of a historic painting? Think you could do better? Now you can Restore your own Ecce Homo!
Check out what others have done by searching for other submissions at #ceciliaprize
What better way to feel better about yourself than by watching others failures? I give you the August 2012 Fails on Devour.com. Note: some not for the faint of heart.
Dogshaming is quite possibly the funniest thing I've seen all day.
The Avengers Gag Reel. Just what it says :)
Outside magically minimizing files, Stylus pens are often shown circling things and crossing things out. In tons of ads that feature Stylus pens, users are constantly shown looking at an image or a website or some product, and simply using the pen to circle things, point to things, or cross things out. In another ad for the Asus’ Eee slate, for example, a fashion blogger is showing doing all three (0:33): X-ing out one picture, circling another, and then drawing an arrow for good measure.
This is pretty damn funny: This ‘Leaked’ Promo Video for the iPhone 5 Is Not Real But it Should Be.
Pretty funny (cause it’s true (or so I assume, cause I read it on the internet)) look at 13 Things a Stand-Up Comedian Won’t Tell You from Reader’s Digest.
- The worst audience? Bachelorette parties. The bride-to-be expects the entire evening to be all about her, her, her … and alcohol doesn’t help. Some comics have learned how to give Bridezilla her 30 seconds and move on. But if she’s going to yell “Whoo!” every few seconds—it’s a problem.
The Profound Programmer is a great site with those posters of profound quotes, but from a more realistic, bitter, programmer point of view.
Great stuff (some new, some old) from Coding Horror: New Programming Jargon.
What-if.xkcd.com looks like the most awesome thing ever, answering hypothetical everyday questions. Check out the what if you tried to hit a baseball pitched at 90% the speed of light question.
Asked and delivered, As promised, here’s the photo of $211,223 in cash we raised for charity from the Oatmeal after their charity-raising binge post-legal issues.
That’s a lot of money.
Another great xkcd: United Shapes
Now only if he’d do one for Canada!
Pretty funny video of A Conversation With My 12 Year Old Self.
Via this reddit thread.
So it’ll be short lived, but following HerpDerpParticle (@derpparticle) on twitter is well worth it.
I saw the title worth it for the drive by and had no idea what to expect. Then I watched it and lol’d.
The Oatmeal once again hits it out of the park with How movie theaters SHOULD be laid out.
Definitely Raining, with the tagline “Vancouver, WTF” is definitely for my fellow interneters from the Lower Mainland.
“It all started with a malfunction…. of the event’s centerpiece, a scale model of the Kulluk, one of the rigs heading up north, which was sitting in a basin of liquor (rum and coke?) next to an ice sculpture in the shape of an iceberg.
That’s pretty awesome(ly bad).
Update: Gawker says it’s a fake. Yea, guess it was too good to be true.
Great link from my buddy James, of RainGeek fame: 5 things you need to know about that wonder-beverage, coffee. If you read nothing but one paragraph here, read this one:
The smell of coffee makes women more likely to give out their phone number. Anything that gets the adrenaline flowing increases sexual arousal so coffee and a roller coaster might be an excellent date idea. When things get stressful coffee is a good idea for women but not for men. Coffee has also been shown to reduce depression in women. Pregnant women definitely should not drink it. (Alcohol — in modest amounts — during pregnancy can actually be a good thing.)
Suddenly all those zombie movies seem silly in the light of this revelation.
Great post on the Oatmeal: I wrote a response to the Forbes article about my Tesla comic. You’ll remember the Tesla comic a couple of days back.
Great post over at Everywhereist: 10 Things Kids Today Would Never Believe About Flying in the 1980s. I’m in my mid-30s now and I remember (vaguely) flying when I was around 5 or 6, so right around 1980 or so. I was invited (or asked to go, I forget which) to go and visit the cockpit and saw the pilots flying, and I also distinctly remember the smoking section in the back of the plane.
Pretty hilarious Pet Interview with a Guinea Pig for a campaign for pets. And you know I love pets.
Oh wow, thanks to forgetfoo for posting this Crashing A Lamborghini video.
“With great horsepower comes great responsibility.”
The Oatmeal: Why Nikola Tesla was the greatest geek who ever lived.
Great post on Why I don’t have comments on my site from Marco, Apple Cult-Member and instapaper author.
In my past I’m pretty sure I posted more than one of these types of vitriol spitting comments, probably directed towards “Micro$loth har har”, so I can only look down my nose so much. Not sure if I’m also a cult member or maybe I’ve just grown up and have realized that Mac is good for some things, Linux is good for some things, and Windows is good for some things.
Better to talk about something that’ll cause people less stress, like religion or the pro-choice/pro-life debate. Or Vi vs Emacs.
“The emotions of life in advertising as told through gifs.”
Via Shawn Blanc.
Looking for something tasty? Testing your immunity to heart attacks? Or maybe have a death wish? Check out the new pizza topping made from cheeseburgers that Pizza Hut Middle East Debuted.
Plain old stuffed crust? That’s so last decade — at least according to Domino’s Pizza. Earlier this year, the chain rolled out a line of “Stuffed Cheesy Bread” that’s full of “cheese, cheese, and more cheese.” In fact, the breads — which come in Spinach and Feta, Bacon and Jalapeño, and plain Cheese — contain as much cheese as an entire medium pizza.
Seriously, that looks like something you get on your way to the electric chair. The greese would probably help conductivity as well.
Thanks to Bryan for passing this on.
Stephen Colbert Uncovers a Canadian Currency Conspiracy. Crap, he’s on to us!
Awesome video: Why The Scariest Sci-Fi Robot Uprising Has Already Begun. Via Jim.
It’s true, everything looks awesome at 2,500 FPS, especially if it’s stupid things and/or stuff blowing up.
The Dilbert comic strip for 04/17/2012 is possibly the funniest thing I’ve seen recently. Wally rocks.
iPhone 4 vs .50 Cal Sniper Rifle iPhone 4s. Really not much more to say. I won’t spoil the ending though, but I’ll bet you can figure out how it goes :)
I knew that Titantic was getting the 3D treatment for the re-release, but I didn’t know it was in SUPER 3D.
A hilarious read: What Happens When A 35-Year-Old Man Retakes The SAT?
If you’re 35 years old and you’re thinking about retaking the SAT as a kind of blog stunt, I would highly recommend you avoid it. In fact, I would recommend that no one take the SAT ever. It’s a sternly worded dinosaur of a test, graded in an arbitrary manner with outdated equipment, and it blows. The only reason people take it is because they have to. It exists only so that preppy dipshits can brag about their scores well into adulthood if they did well. I hate it. I hope the Princeton Review gets fucked by a cattle prod.
Via Daring Fireball a couple days ago.
Marco posts about his Useless mug image from Twitter the other day. Sadly the Update is that all orders were cancelled. Great novelty mug idea though.
UPDATE: After receiving 116 orders for these mugs today, Zazzle canceled all of them, telling every customer (but not me, yet) that it’s an acceptable-use violation: “Design contains an image or text that may be subject to copyright.” This was just something fun, and I don’t have time to battle them on this. Now I just know that Zazzle sucks, and I’ll never do business with them again.
The Portal one was my favorite.
That didn’t take long…. a A More Realistic Look At Google’s Project Glass via TechCrunch.
David Hobby writes about his Ambitious April Fool’s Joke which was almost pulled off. So, so close.
Eight hours behind, I remember getting very little sleep that night, alternating between the glee of launching an epic, intercontinental April Fool’s Day prank on Joe — and wondering what it would be like to spend the rest of my life looking over my shoulder. Because Joe is a very accomplished joker in his own right. And I am pretty sure he has a long memory.
Make sure you read the full story.
Well, the Reddit timeline(tm) is possibly the best and most awesome bit of this years April Fools I’ve seen so far.
Other notable bits:
I’ll take the portal one please!
Tim Cook Unboxes the new iPad. Ok, that is friggin’ hilarious.
The latest viral video seems to be The real meaning of MPH in which you can see…. well, just watch it yourself.
Canon v.s Nikon. Ok, even if you’re not a photographer you’ll love this one.
Check out this snazzy Portal decal for your iPad from MacGasm.
This isn’t a political blog, but I thought the President Obama Roasts Donald Trump At White House Correspondents’ Dinner video was pretty damn funny (even more so when you compare it to the ~~laughter-less~~ wonky laughter version from Fox News.
Via this reddit thread.
Sacha Baron Cohen’s ‘Dictator’ Dumps Kim Jong Il’s Ashes On Ryan Seacrest. Once again proving that SBC is awesome.
Dell’s the computer to use if taking photos of fat guys farting is your thing. I seriously thought this was a joke title until 2/3 of the way through this video.
Seriously WTF? I am not against pictures of fat guys farting, everyone has their thing and their art, but is this something that Dell really wants as a promotion for them and their laptops? Seriously?
Once again The Oatmeal is spot on with I tried to watch Game of Thrones and this is what happened. Unfortunately the entertainment industry has about a brazillion dollars and people still want to consume their output, so my cynical self doesn’t see this changing any time soon.
Passed on from a friend: HTTP Response Cats
My buddy Tim has a great contribution to the (somewhat overdone) meme involving Star Trek Captains.
Here’s where things sort of fell apart. All three times, your response was to lean away from me as if I had just started throwing up in your ear. You ignored me, and you refused to even look at me. You stopped speaking for a combined total of maybe 20 seconds, and then immediately went back to it.
I think I would have gone and taken the hit of the assault charge.
Watch Stephen Colbert’s Defense of Planned Parenthood. So damn good. America, you crazy!
Business Insider has all of the Super Bowl 2012 Commercials arranged for you. Sadly no indication of if they’re good or not, but there are 59 of them to go through :)
Don’t Link This asks: Describe your sex live with a movie title and the comments are awesome.
If I Were CEO. Yup, that’s about accurate.
Great article on Visual Studio 2010 from Ars, relating it to a text adventure game.
Play starts with the spell game. The game has three difficulty modes. In the two easiest modes Visual Studio questers must cast spells to appease a malevolent gatekeeper known only as "the compiler," combining the text adventuring of Zork with the wizardy and magic of Loom. If the player's spell contains even a single faulty incantation, the compiler will respond with a torrent of abuse and spells of its own; the player must piece together clues contained within compiler's response to determine how they went wrong.
Don't lie, if you were a Jedi you'd be like this too.
Great video of Jimmy Carr destroying some hecklers on his various specials. Absolutely awesome stuff.
This is why you don't mess with a proper comedian :)
Ever wanted to relive the glory of restarting your windows 95 computer? Or MacOS 7? Or NEXT? Or Windows XP? Well now you can with The Restart Page!
When you see the title: And now a video of a kid getting hit in the face with an iPad for being a douche it sort of gives the video away. Still, this is a use of the iPad that I completely endorse under these circumstances.
Not that I'm bitter, I got my Christmas bonus, but still, the Dilbert comic strip for 12/21/2011 hit my heartstrings somehow.
Marco has done it again with an amusing Amazon Kindle Fire vs. iPad 2 comparison chart.
Anyway, the main attraction of Amazon's Kindle Fire vs. iPad 2 page is the big comparison table. Other people's feature-comparison checklists always leave out factors that are important to me, so I made my own additions that Amazon is welcome to include on their page[...]
This is obviously a "fanboy" response to the Kindle, done in (mostly) jest, but demonstrating just how silly feature lists really are, because they really will never show you the real story, but just what whoever is selling you wants the story to be (though, that's basically what marketing is all about).
Some in here I hadn't seen before: 12 Funniest Beer Commercials from Oddee.com.
Kids Receiving Intentionally Crappy Christmas Presents Is The Funniest Thing You'll See Today. Pretty much exactly what the title says. Via friends on Facebook and the comedy of Jimmy Kimmel :)
New to me anyway: Simon's Cat in Fowl Play. Another excellent entry into the Simon's Cat compendium.
To celebrate The 10th Anniversary of Ultraman is Airwolf is Now A Free Download. This is the spoken word album by Ernie Cline (currently of Ready Player One fame) that introduced me to him in 2003. Hilarious stuff. Definitely something to download ASAP!
Posted on my birthday: For all those born in 80′s.
Wow, I thought that some of the auto-generated SQL from the depths of wordpress were bad... that's before I saw The Query of Despair over at The Daily WTF.
Aryk sent me this: Instant Elevator Music Automatically Plays Whenever You Move Files Around. How is this not the most needed windows utility in history?
Linked for headline alone:
The Cycle Wherein Apple Creates A Product And People Copy It And Then "Improve" Upon The Design And Then People Ask Apple To Do The Same "Improvements" And Apple Doesn't And Then People Get Mad At Apple And Apple Keeps Making More Money Than Everyone Else
Hilarious (and true?) Rant worth listening to over on youtube. Via a coworker. Note there is strong language, so wear headphones or if your ears are sensitive, don't listen :)
The Top 6 Alternatives To The Kindle Fire, because a device that's not released yet needs alternatives (and lets be honest, the group of contenders there is more a list of "what isn't the iPad").
As a side note, hows this for the definition of "damning with faint praise":
It's hard to love the Playbook, but if you're a diehard BlackBerry addict and you like a tablet with a smooth OS and great screen, this may be the one for you. Despite Playbook's sad storyline - released too soon, email and calendaring apps that didn't work right, a wonky syncing system - it's a solid device for BlackBerry users.
"Well, this car will explode about a tenth of the time that you drive it you'll find yourself on fire, the tires will sometimes randomly deflate while on the highway, and you can't drive more than 30, but for a Canadian it's fine."
Guy chokes a kid after being made fun of in Black Ops, we're ... upset is the title of this Joystiq post. Be sure you read it all, and in no way endorsed by us here at UFies.org.
A coworker brought this comic from The Oatmeal of A visual comparison of hammer pants VS hipsters to my attention. Not sure what he's trying to say to me though.
[I truly wish I had a picture of myself in either hammer pants or hipster garb to insert here, but sadly I'm way too cool to wear either.]
I'll assume he was simply mentioning it because The Oatmeal is awesome.
In a shocking turn of events, it turns out that the FTC says the AcneApp won't work to cute acne. That said, anyone who paid for it deserves to lose the $0.99 (or whatever it was) for believing that putting your iPhone on your acne for a few minutes a day will cure it.
Someone over on Google+ pointed me to this long list of tech jokes, none of which I have anything to do with.
[...] @spikelynch The problem with mutex jokes is that they're race-ist. #protolol @OhMeadhbh: the SYN flood attack #protolol: "knock knock. who's there? knock knock. who's there? knock knock. who's there? ..." @toastido ASCII jokes need no ANSI. #protolol @yoshicool NTP jokes are always on time #protolol @RichGibson Everyone gets snmp jokes but only some people understand them #protolol [... etc ... ]
If you're not geeky though, you can skip this post completely :)
This 5-Second Films on Planking should be required watching.
Pretty funny Live Blog of the MTV Video Music Awards from someone unfamiliar with the current music scene. I can only imagine that I'd be even worse.
Nicki Minaj is wearing a nice outfit. This is the future.
Not sure who this rock band is. They look like douchebags, though.
Here's a Jersey Shore thing. In guess you forgot that MTV is responsible for Jersey Shore.
Joy of Tech has a great funny look at Steve Jobs' Calendar Now He's No Longer CEO.
I laughed at this Extralife cartoon: Hoarders: Digital Storage Edition, but only to hide the growing fear that they were talking about me.
So again the title pretty much says it all. watch the video where Anderson Cooper makes fun of french actor Gerad Depardieu for (allegedly) urinating in the isle of an aircraft after being told he wasn't allowed to get up to go to the bathroom while they were taxiing and (rightfully so) cracks himself up. Pretty damn funny.
Fans of the unwatchable abomination that is MTV's (inexplicably) hit show, Jersey Shore, might not know this, but there were plenty of others who sent in audition tapes to be part of the show.
Sorry about the stupid pre-roll ad in the video. Worth the wait though.
Nice set of pics on flickr of Team Fortress 2 done in Lego.
Just for fun.... where would they be: Text Editors in The Lord of the Rings. Mostly just a dis against TextMate, but the vi and emacs ones are pretty funny too :)
Awesome mashup of Game of Thrones as a buddy comedy. Pretty amazing the power of editing, a different musical score and a voiceover and the entire tone of the show changes 180 degrees.
Forgetfoo gets another one: War Between Developers.
Companion Cube Soap for those not lucky enough to get your own knitted companion cube...
Strobist points to a pretty cool use of a "few" cameras with on camera flash. Just a few mind you.
Created obviously to get plays at it's ridiculousness.... Microsoft's latest Google-compete weapon: The Gmail man via daring fireball.
Spock Is Not Impressed. Presented without comment.
Mark Malkoff finds out What CAN'T you do in the Apple Store?
Thanks to my buddy Gavin for pasing on this great Lady Gaga parody (no, not turning into a gagablog I promise!): X-MEN BORN THIS WAY.
Another awesome comic from The Oatmeal on How commercial airplanes SHOULD be laid out. Props for the child kennel area.
Darren pointed me to what is quite possibly the most awesome 404 page on the net, and also the most awkward.
I think that this comment is pretty much the end of discussion on the "PC vs. Mac" "war".
Via twitter found the movie Plot Device on Vimeo. Pretty awesome and inventive storytelling!
(PS: Make sure you stay for after the credits!)
Pretty awesome display of musical prowess as UK comedian Bill Bailey Sends A Message To Metallica:
British comedian and multi-instrumentalist Bill Bailey has posted a video online in which he demonstrates why he and his band are more than ready to take Metallica's place at this weekend's edition of the Sonisphere Festival in the United Kingdom.
Hilarious: Spoof Video Pokes Fun at DSLR Rigs. My video making friends will want to rush out and order this new rig.
He does a great job too. Stephen Colbert Sings "Friday" If you're in the US the Hulu link is far easier to find. However, for us .ca folks, this one is good.
Wow, the second video of Scottish Comedian Frankie Boyle is freakin' hilarious. Must find more copies of this "Rush Hour" show.
Another great video: Simon's Cat in Hidden Treasure
I'm pretty sure that the user comments are more funny than the code commit itself. Definitely a brown-bag error for whatever this Bumblebee thing is.
I, and the rest of the guys at the office, had a good laugh at this craigslist post. Non-hockey/Vancouver people can ignore it. Text below in case it disappears:
Looking to Trade my Game 7 Tickets. - $1 (Surrey)
Date: 2011-06-14, 2:25PM PDT
I'm look to trade my tickets for Game 7 with anyone who can bring me Tim Thomas Alive, preferably bound. Not looking to harm him in any way just looking to hold him captive during Game 7. Will release him once the Canucks evidently hold the Stanley Cup.
Tim Arrives in British Columbia today, theres many opportunities to subdue him, I am aware that he likes Japadogs and Archie Comics. Please do not mistake Tim Thomas for Drew Carrie, I have put a picture below to distinquish the two. I do not have any use for Drew Carrie, I don't think anyone does.
Will also include a free Canucks Jersey and Henrik Sedin Bobble Head.
Great book, and now you can Download Samuel L. Jackson's audiobook version of Go The Fuck To Sleep for free. All you need is a free audible account.
LOL at the Emacs user at work. Thanks Aryk!
I loved this Daily WTF so much that I shared it with some of my web designer friends. Twenty-Four Bits Per Intern.
I haven't really gotten into the Hypercritial podcast, but after reading some of the gems at Siracusa said so, I think it's time to re-subscribe.
"I've written enough PHP in anger to know about the language" (ep. 17, min. 35)
That one, as a new PHP programmer, is my favorite.
This fan trailer of George Lucas Strikes Back is quite possibly the greatest thing I've ever seen.
Hat tip @samspratt.
The video here is so full of win I don't know what to say. In 3 minutes 36 seconds Leonard Nimoy has completely re-invigorated his career. At least in my eyes.
My god it's awesome.
Fantastic Quora question and answer: Superheroes: Given our current technology and with the proper training, would it be possible for someone to become Batman?
The genius of Batman is that it pretends to be realistic, it lets us convince ourselves that with enough money and training, we could become Batman, too. But it's still fantasy, it's just a fantasy that is more compelling and convincing and thus more fun.
Hat tip to Shawn Blanc.
Great list of The 100 Greatest Movie Insults of All Time. Thanks to my buddy Jim for passing it on. NSFW language obviously :)
When they say that this is possibly the most useful video you'll ever watch in terms of saving you time in your life, they're not kidding. The shirt removal video alone is worth the price of admission.
The 'bonus' video of the greatest proposal ever though, don't let your girlfriend, wife or fiance watch that lest they be very jealous and ask "why didn't you do something like that for me? Don't you love me as much as he does her?" (might be just me projecting though).
The Day The Routers Died.... Funny song :)
Another great clip from the Daily Show where Jon Stewart lambastes Fox News. Always fun stuff.
The greatest RL troll of all time. Great video, keep on watching past the time you think "this guy is just an ass" though, it's pretty cool to see just how often and in what awesome ways he was a complete and total ass :) Thanks cthulhu for the link.
Hacker Typer. For when you need to hack, and fast.
Great idea. Kudos to JTStrocel.
An image like this makes me stop complaining about my job....
Possibly the most depressing thing I've seen all day. Thank god I still fit in the chart (barely).
And speaking of setbacks, why can't this stupid fucking bird follow the laws of physics? Why does he sometimes smoothly navigate slopes while other times smacking his fat chest on the crest of hills that seem perfectly shaped? Why is island 4 full of curves that seem designed to be impossible to smoothly traverse as if Andreas Illiger--that rotten bastard, that complete asshole--has purposefully designed them to spite me?
I have to admit that this'Thor' TV Spot that Aryk sent me surprised me and gave me a LOL. Great stuff.
One again the Oatmeal comes through with a concise guide on How to fix any computer. As someone who knows about these things, this is 100% true.
I must also link to this XKCD which is related.
Honestly today's Abstruse Goose comics kinda freaked me out a bit.
Aryk sent me this cartoon which pretty much illustrates the problem with the batches of "iPhone Killers" out there.
Great video on making Combat Coffee by some Canucks in Afganistan. Posted if for nothing more than the "not a fucking timmies in sight" comment :)
Via this reddit story (with awesome comments as usual).
Fugly Android is a tumblr site to showcase Android customizations that have just gone too far...
Actually some of them are kinda cool, but I really don't know if I'd want to use them day to day. I'd like a bit more customization than iOS allows, but the curse of unlimited customization is.... well, just look at the link to see. Sometimes there is something to be said for "just leave it close to how it came" ya know? Via Daring Fireball (from a few days ago... I'm still catching up).
I have no words. Well, other than I'd love to see this for real.
Katamari Hack is a bookmarket that turns any page into a Katamari Damacy. Completely pointless, but awesome nonetheless!
Today's Penny Arcade cartoon The Land Before Time.... all I can say is "very true".
Aryk pointed me to these interesting Amazon reviews of the book A Million Random Digits.
New Simon's Cat! Sticky Tape.
Too awesome for words: Tonight I'm Frakking You. Thanks to Halkeye for sharing.
I have a feeling I'm the last one in the world to find this out, but according to GraphJam, you can use Google Translate for beatboxing. Try it by using their example, or hit this link (may or may not work depending on your location). The fact that they detect beatbox-like input and replace the "Listen" button with a "beatbox" one is pretty awesome.
That cute VW commercial from the other day with the mini Darth Vader has the deleted scenes and bloopers video released.
For the geeks out there feeling out of place on Sunday when there was some sort of game or something on, don't worry, you are not alone.
I'm sure everyone's seen the new The Force VW commercial, but if you haven't, it's good, and embedded below
Kevin Smith, of Smodcast, Clerks, and QuickStop fame is going to head out to join the Westboro Baptist Church in protesting Red State at the Sundance Film festival.
Fans of Smith will remember he did something similar back in '99 protesting Dogma. One can hope that they get way more turn out. He also tells a great story about how it all came to be and his disappointment in the protest turnout at Dogma.
Argh, my mistake, looks like he's joining the counter-protest, not the protest. Bummer. Course, the Westboro people are some messed up folks who don't need any more encouragement than they have from their current endeavors.
Just a funny pic of the guy who jailbroke the Windows 7 Phone.
Funny little video of Michael Caine doing Michael Caine.
Great funny answer on Why is Dropbox more popular than other tools with similar functionality?
Why is Dropbox more popular than other tools with similar functionality? E.g. Windows Live Sync, etc, which are free.
Ok, it's a bit late for the real start of the new year, but watching this Burnout FAIL over on failblog gave me the first chuckle of the day. Still getting used to this whole "waking up in the morning" thing, so stay tuned for more link goodness.
24. "PHP is a minor evil perpetrated and created by incompetent amateurs, whereas Perl is a great and insidious evil, perpetrated by skilled but perverted professionals."
- Jon Ribbens
Cracked.com has a nice list of The 10 Most Irreplaceable Performances in Comedy Films. I was going to pass it by and not post, until I cam across #6, Alan RIckman in SpaceQuest:
Alan Rickman can pack so much tragedy, rage, injustice and disgust into a single line that you'd swear it was a McRib.
I'd have to give it to him for his performance as Marvin in The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy... every time Marvin said anything with Rickman's voice I burst out laughing.
A nice blast from the past.... anyone else remember the great song Every OS Sucks?
Not an endorsement for Lumix, though I've had a couple of their cameras and they are quite nice, though their "intelligent" system is still no substitute for knowing what your f-stop and aperture are set at.
And the most original use of google translate goes to..... the Web beat box tool via 9-5 mac.
Hopefully my friends in the US had time to sit, relax, and be thankful they weren't killed or maimed by the crazies shown in the video embedded below.
Seriously, I know stuff's on sale, but this is why the world thinks you're crazy you know?
Happy (slightly late) Thanksgiving!
Also as noted in the reddit comments not all the video is from American stores.... but it's more interesting to say it is :)
Great video find over at the Secret Diary of Steve Jobs - In case you are traveling this week.
Related is this article in case you were thinking that the body scanners weren't all that bad. Glad I live in Canada and right now can't afford to fly anywhere, much less in or out of the US.
Great video of Adam Savage (of MythBusters' fame) at Wootstock Seattle saying "WTF, TSA?"
Thanks to Tim from the FV.rb group for passing on this stackoverflow page of What is the best commit message you have ever encountered? Some real gems in there.
OMG the latest oatmeal cartoon - Why I don't cook at home - could not be more true. This is the exact reason (well, mostly anyway) why I describe to people that I didn't learn to cook.
Wow, this is awesome.... a Fake Arnold sings in 'Commando, the Musical'. I'd watch that.
While the iPhone auto-correct is pretty good most of the time, the site of Funny iPhone Fails and Autocorrect Horror Stories illustrates the times when it fails. Hard.
Kudos to Grizzled for sending this great video (well, audio) of AC/DC's Thunderstruck on the bagpipes:
Awesome compilation of Don Draper Saying "What?" over and over again. Only truly awesome if you're a Mad Men fan.
Reminds me a bit of the fuck fuck fuck scene from The Wire (NSFW language obviously).
At least according to this Cracked.com article.
Filed under "funny cause it's true".
Just a reminder that your feeble attempts to deal with squirrels probably won't work. I just hope they never get opposable thumbs....
Minecraft is Just Awesome is a great parody of the Discovery Channel's "boomdiada" song for, of course, the Minecraft crowd.
I'm sure the sadists among my audience will appreciate a video of 100 Funny Falls. SIckos. :P
Online Communities 2 is the new most awesome thing from XKCD. For your enjoyment, note that there's a huge size version, and you may want to look at the original comic and since my birthday is coming up, I'll just leave this link to order a poster here.... just in case ;) (though who am I kidding, no one actually reads this site...)
If you've been using the net for a few years you'll recognize this ie6 effect that's been ported to HTML5. Ironically doesn't work in IE (at least 8).
If a comic can get my blood boiling and the tears starting from the horrible memories of bad email interaction, then it's doing something right. The Oatmeal - If you do this in an email, I hate you.
Ha! Funny review of a hands on look at RIM's Playbook Prototype*. Important to note the '*' here though. :)
Awesome machinema video of Team Fortress 2, called Dance Fortress 2. Great stuff, you almost have to watch it several times to see what each of the characters are done.
YouTube - Sesame Street: True Mud is a great True Blood parody. Thanks to K at work for pointing me to this.
Sure it's all for an ad / viral marketing for a pillow store, but the Backwards Music Video Featuring 2 Guys & 600 Pillows is pretty cool, especially when you grok the "backwards" part. Also make sure you watch the forwards "making of" version as well.
The luckiest bastards alive is a video of a bunch of very close calls involving people in/on/around cars, trains, and automobiles. More than a few pucker moments in there.
This took me by surprise, and I actually LOL'd for real - Penny Arcade! - The Wager. Though I'd still say I'll believe it when I hold the game in my hand.
No, the "DOS" in DOS on Dope isn't funny or ironic :) I'm not saying that this is useful or practical in any way, but it is pretty cool.
Old but good - Mary Roach: 10 things you didn't know about orgasm. Maybe a bit slow to start, but quite amusing.
No, I don't know what to think either, or if I ever imagined all these words together and connected.
Presenting Howfuckedismydatabase.com without further comment. Other than it's awesome.
The awesomeness of the Discussion with a Java switcher over at Merbist isn't about the Java/Ruby/etc world, but this image showing the hierarchy of what type of programmers consider themselves superior to. Also I think that Ruby (damn young kids!) should be lower than Perl programmers. Just sayin'.
After seeing this on reddit: The most sadistic thing ever invented, but I haven't over-snoozed in 2 weeks now it may be something to influence me to run an Android phone. Pic.
Cool video of a Street Performer playing with his balls.
Awesome looking trailer: INEBRIATION (Inception Parody/Spoof):
At least in this Email from a prospective client they were honest.... :)
Great gizmodo post on How to Make Justin Bieber Sound Incredible: Slow Him Down 800 Percent. As Aryk said when he send me this, "it's true". Definitely sounds like an epic video game or movie soundtrack. Love the first comment regarding BSG too.
Update - Or not.
Great infographic on the stats of slacking at work. Sent to me by a coworker, who found it no doubt while slacking at work.
Awesome twist on the Action Movie Phone Call from CollegeHumor. Thanks Aryk.
The Ballad of Steven Slater, by the same guy who did the iPhone antenna song. Note: NSFW lyrics (swearing, and lots of it).
Not helping the "the Japanese are crazy" feeling here in the west, here comes Japanese Binocular Soccer.
Another great Daring Fireball Linked List link to a Statistical Analysis of the Attractiveness of User Profile Pictures, asserting, among other things, that iPhone users have more sex (presumably with other people that is).
As an iPhone user, I must agree with this.
Some other interesting stuff as well, including analysis of sexiness by camera make, class, flash or no flash, etc.
Not my cats luckily, thanks to Fred for passing on this story of crazy German cat antics.
A cat home alone in Germany apparently turned on the vacuum cleaner, frightened itself half to death and wound up being attended to by emergency services.
Great video for all you WOW addicts: Jace Hall - I Play W.O.W Music Video.
If this story linked from DF is true, that flight attendant is either a huge jerk, or the biggest bad ass I've heard of.
I never knew that The McGangBang existed, or there was this much information about it.
If you want to get anything done today, definitely don't go and read the Post the funniest thing you've ever seen on the internet thread on Reddit. Seriously, don't.
Ever asked yourself What The Fuck Is My Social Media Strategy? If so, click the link and continue on your road to a social media success!
I remember hearing the non-illustrated version of this joke ages ago. I've always wondered if I could use it (telling the joke that is) to get out of a speeding ticket (as in "come on officer, tell you what, if I can make you laugh at a joke, you let me off with just a warning").
Awesome video of a Big Fan Asks Joss Whedon Who His Favorite Actor Is. From my buddy @jtstrocel.
Humorous and amusing post about the deconstruction of an In-N-Out Double-Double.
I'm going to guess I'm not alone in identifying with this Geek and Poke comic....
This article on the Daily WTF called The 0th Month is a picture perfect of a) programmer rage and b) a case study on refactoring :)
Kevin S. works on websites for a living.
Well, actually, "work" might not be an adequate description considering that part of Kevin's job requires that he is half clarvoyant and half mountain sherpa when it comes to digging through the several huge codebases globbed together abominations of open source, third-party components that he is expected to support.
Also possibly the greatest intro paragraph ever :)
Start Monday off with The History of LOLcats.
Great image over at The Celler of a Cow Wash. Pretty much the happiest cow picture you're going to see all day today.
Also, happy Friday! TGIF :)
Great video of a LOLParrot doing 20 Parrot Tricks in 2 Minutes. My favorite is the "bang" playing dead trick about 1:00 in.
Whatever you wanted to know about The History of Lolcats is available in info graphic form.
So you know that "I'm on a horse" old spice commercial? It, plus the various levels of web 2.0 and social networky stuff has generated the Old Spice Voicemail Generator. Pretty damn awesome, and I have my new voice-mail message.
Awesome new Improv Everywhere with the Star Wars Subway Car.
Great news..... Guild Season 4 Premieres!
A few things. If you'll notice, the episode looks a bit different than usual. We shot this season on a different camera, the Canon Mark 5D, which I NEVER EVER WILL TRUST BECAUSE IT LOOKS LIKE A STILL CAMERA SO HOW IS IT TAKING VIDEO?!
Wil Wheaton has The Guild: Season 4 Teaser up on his site. If you had forgotten what happened in Season 3, there's a Auto-tuned recap of Season 3 for your enjoyment. Also huge props for the phrase "naughty monkey sex".
OMG awesome, thanks Len for this video of Yoda Recording His Lines For The Star Wars TomTom Voices. I'll harken you back to the Darth Vader version. Wonder if you'll be able to download these into the iPhone version of the TomTom app?
Metafilter has a great one on Firefly: the '80s Edition where they link to a great 80's style intro video inspired by an io9 article.
This Talk Show Guest FAIL also represents my reaction when I saw that Germany had lost their World Cup game.
Another good Hitler video, this one is Hitler Finds Out About Opera 10.60.
If everyone hasn't had enough of making fun of Twilight yet, Cracked.com had another go.
Stephanie Meyer's exemplary writing style is demonstrated in this conversation between Edward and our narrator Bella:
"Aren't you hungry?" he asked, distracted.
"No." I didn't feel like mentioning that my stomach was already full - full of butterflies.
Not all of it, but she reveals a lot of her self in a Get Mortified interview involving some embarrassing bits from her past.
Very NSFW language, but these iPhone vs. HTC EVO & HTC EVO vs iPhone4 video fairly well illustrates both sides of the "apple fanboy" and "not apple fanboy" extreme nicely.
Fantastic Java vs. .Net video trailer from JavaZone.no.
And speaking as a Canadian fanboy: Damn you all. I have a feeling that things like this are happening commonly around those countries today... :)
Just read it, it's funny as hell. You'll want to read through the rest of the site as well.
Slashfilm has some great BP-Inspired Finding Nemo 2 Posters.
An older post that I just saw... The Six Stages of Debugging. So so true.
I read Clients From Hell daily to keep up to date on what not to do and to see how my own contract clients compare to the worst of the worls. Reading A Cautionary Tale I was reminded just how lucky I am and how I have nothing to complain about compared to some people. Long, but well worth the read.
Via @dkubb on IRC: Chatroulette Plans Penis-Recognition Algorithm to Block Pervy Users. I really don't know what else to say. They had me at "penis recognition" :)
You know, it's only Tuesday, so it's nice to start the day with a smile. Check out this super-happy duck and think about how great it would be if your day could be given so much joy. Course, your brain would be the size of a pea, but still, that's a happy duck!
The accuracy of this demotivational poster is scarily accurate. Might be time to look at programming as a second option and being a painter first.
Someone with way too much time on their hands got an ultralight into orbit (in Flight Sim X).
Lesbians Who Look Like Justin Bieber.tumblr.com. Presented without comment.
Brilliant.... the Star Wars iPad Briefing.
Great cartoon about What your email address says about your computer skills via The Oatmeal.
Lost Alternative Endings and Unanswered Questions - great video... hilarious stuff (but only if you're a Lost fan of course).
After being in more than a couple of corporate meetings myself, I can say that this video of The Process (a.k.a. Designing The Stop Sign Video) video.
Title pretty much says it all: Rid The Internet of All Mentions of Justin Bieber, With A Firefox Add-On. If you already have this, you won't see this entry.
To celebrate Friday before the long weekend (for us .ca folks anyway) I present you the Fail-a-thon. Try not to laugh if you're watching this at work.
Another email exchange between (Fake) Steve Jobs and a user. Funny thing is I didn't realize this wasn't a real exchange right away, and saw it as completely legit :)
Peejay threw me over this great Apple Keynote Bloopers video with the comment "Lotta people died for that video".
All said, that's not bad for 10 years of doing live demos in keynotes, and The Steve is pretty good at shaking it off or making a joke about it. Some good stuff in there though.
Just when I was pretty sure I'd seen the weirdest, sickest, and most depraved things on the internet, I see that Laughing Squid uncovered He-Man Covering 4 Non Blondes' "What's Up?". Yea, it's that. I'm still not sure what mix of "awesome" and "disturbing" it is :)
One Div Zero has a hilarious Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages.
1842 - Ada Lovelace writes the first program. She is hampered in her efforts by the minor inconvenience that she doesn't have any actual computers to run her code. Enterprise architects will later relearn her techniques in order to program in UML.
One Div Zero has a hilarious Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages.
1842 - Ada Lovelace writes the first program. She is hampered in her efforts by the minor inconvenience that she doesn't have any actual computers to run her code. Enterprise architects will later relearn her techniques in order to program in UML.
Kotaku has a great graphic of If Super Mario Bros. Was Made in 2010.
Aryx sent me this fun video of Darth Vader recording for TomTom GPS.
Interesting results from the Color Survey that XKCD did a while back, with some interesting (but obvious) results that basically say that if you're a girl, you know a lot more color names than if you're a guy :)
Confused by the whole "gizmodo iphone ethics, journalism police-raid" thing? Run through The Gizmodo iPhone saga flowchart and pretty much everything will be explained (or at least, flowcharted out).
They weren't put up on the main site, but Scott Adams did two great comics on That Lost 4G Phone. Hilarious stuff :)
Great funny view of what R2D2 hacking the imperial network might have looked like.
Another great one in the meme, where Hitler Finds Out That The Hitler Downfall Remix Videos Have Been Removed.
Great graphic over on F1.0 on the evolution of a photographer, in graph form.
A great wrap up of LO(L)ST: Season 1 using LOLCats. I just finished watching Lost Season 5, so I heartily approve this message.
Perl would be Voodoo - An incomprehensible series of arcane incantations that involve the blood of goats and permanently corrupt your soul. Often used when your boss requires you to do an urgent task at 21:00 on friday night.
So so true...
Great blip of an interview with Bill Gates where he's asked about the iPad, and shares how the huge success of tablet PCs is a windows innovation. Yup.
Awesome cheezburger video of the happiest hamsters ever. Play this if you need a late-afternoon-and-oh-god-how-long-till-I-get-to-go-home moment.
Just discovered Virtual Shackles through their hilarious comic Depth Perception, all about the lost iPhone 4th gen. Funny as hell. Started going through the comic archives too, looks like a great comic for geeks/gamers :)
Great video of Axis Of Awesome doing their "4 chord song" routine
This is the most odd video of someone after their wisdom teeth were removed you'll see all morning. Thanks to Mike for this link.
Pretty much guarenteed to be the cutest cat investigates an ipad you'll see today.
A bit extreme, but I have to say that this Bacon cooker is pretty effective.
To prove I'm not all about the apple fanboyness, I give you a video of a Standing Cat. I'm not sure if it freaks me out or makes me laugh. Awesome either way :)
Hijinks Ensue has another great Edward Olmos T-Shirt that I want. Team Edward forever!
I'm sure I've linked this before, but hey, one more time cause it's great stuff :)
Gizmodo has a list of 8 Cruel But Completely Justified iPad Wallpaper Pranks which I'd love to do if I knew anyone who had an iPad. Only cause I'm jealous of course.
Two great posts over at Stack Overflow:
For those xkcd fans out there, you'll be hapy to know that the game from the last comic, 'flatland' is
real. If you don't get any of this stuff, check out this video of Carl Sagan explaining it for us mere mortals. Bonus: or this.
An awesome explanation of elementary resource-locking strategy. Hilarious.
I don't care if you're a gamer, love or hate Portal, but this video of kids singing Portals "Still Alive" will make your Monday just that slight bit better (crappy camera work non-withstanding).
Christopher Blizzard blogged a beautiful expression of frustration, a really great song about the frustration of web devs and IE :) Funny and catchy.
This bubbles perv video is probably NSFW, but it's also pretty funny. And pervy. But really funny.
Awesome sketch from College Humor on Internet Trolls. Best 2 comments are the "usenet flame war of '99" and the Steve Jobs one. Great stuff as always.
Snuzzy has a video of an Alpaca on a surfboard.
Sometimes the world really just doesn't make sense.
Boingboing has a horrifying story about a Happy Meal that shows no decay in a year on a shelf. Either it's terrifying that that stuff is eaten (cause it's so damn good) or good to know it'll survive the apocalypse and sustain the survivors....
Another great find from Aryk - Top 10 Things That Annoy Programmers over at Kevin Pang's site. I agree with all of these.
Oddee.com has a good list of 10 Funniest Wedding Fails.
College Humor has a great Chat Roulette Piano video. The guy doing the piano has got some good skillz too!
Aryk sent over a comic on The Difference Between Firefox, Opera, Explorer & Safari via The Next Web.com
Found the Top 20 5 Second Films where you get 2 seconds for title, 1 for end titles, and 5 for content. Some stinkers in there, and some NSFW language/content, but more gems than stinkers.
My favorite is the guy waking up late... FUUUUUUUUU.....
This image is great, the day in the life of a programmer. I'm somewhere just past the "coffee++" at this point.
Pretty damn funny skit from Jimmy Kimmel: Handsome Men's Club. 10 minutes long, but worth it. Thanks S for the link.
Sometimes you get the chips, sometimes the chips get you.
Just met Ralph on IRC (freenode #fv.rb if you care) and found this great picture from the IE6 funeral. Glad there were at least some protesters :)
Photo Basement has a pretty accurate Chat Roulette analysis up on their site. If you don't know what Chat Roulette is, it basically turns on your camera and connects you to another random person. Hilarity ensues. And by hilarity, I mean "mostly you see a big picture of a penis".
As usual, Jon Stewart takes on big media coverage and Use Chatroulette on The Daily Show. Hilarious and JS at his best.
Kudos to Nicolesy for this great find: Judge Joe Brown & Cheap Wedding Photographers. I'm not sure if His Honor Brown really knows his camera gear or is just repeating what his staff has researched for him, but it's entertaining and surprisingly not dumbed down camera lingo. Well worth the 10 minutes to watch the segment, regardless of your opinion of stupid shows like the "Judge [name]" and it's ilk.
Yet another reason I'm terrified to become a wedding photographer :)
Really great How 'Star Trek' Should Have Ended video.
Found via reddit is a list of 31 Really Bad Ideas if you're all alone and feeling amorous....
They slammed together and the magnetic force was so tremendous I couldn't remove them without tools. I took two pairs of pliers and pulled like hell.
SFW in that it's text only.
They say that no scandel is complete until someone makes a T-Shirt out of it (well, they might say that), and the "school spying on kids with school issued laptops" is no exception.
Thanks to Aryk for sending me this.
It's a bit of a slow morning for me, so here's a great article called Mundane Magic shared by an ex-coworker. Great story that makes you think a bit (maybe, depends on how much coffee you have in you I guess).
What you get when you buy a £25 iPhone down the pub reveals something else I've suspected.... that it's probably not a real iPhone :) Love the bit about it feeling like something out of an alternate history timeline...!
Pretty funny cell phone prank to pull.
If the name Tom Mabe sounds familiar to you, that's probably from his Telemarketer abuse clips from Back In The Day.
Please Rob Me is a prime example of why you shouldn't tell foursquare to tweet out that you're somewhere other than your house :)
Aryk just pointed me to the Clients From Hell Tumblog.... this story - Client: "[Indian outsourcer] says he can do this... gave me a big "OMG" deep down in the chest. Wow. Just.... wow.
I really don't know what to make of this video of The Purple Helmets. They are either brilliant or crazy. Or both.
Thanks to Len for passing me on the Guitar Kitteh video. Looks like a perfectly logical use of a guitar for a cat to me. Might even be less annoying than my cats using my fingers while typing to scritch themselves on.
I never saw the original ad called "Man's Last Stand" from the superbowl ad, but after seeing it, I thought it was great. It has however now been remixed into woman's last stand where the women hit back a bit against the guys.
"S" sent me over a link to this A Sane Response . . . story from emails from crazy people. Well worth the read.
OK, this is just awesome. Check out a few Reddit.com clones written in a variety of languages. Also note the comment to code ratio in the Perl example! ;)
I just found Crying Wife.com via SmodCast. It's basically a guy who video tapes his wife who cries easily, after watching movies. Before you flame the guy for being an insensitive prick though, read his FAQ and then flame him :)
Dear Internet. I have no words to explain this: Japanese Star Wars Tuna Ad.
Friggin' amazing Amazing Aliens Rap.
Via Aryk: The true "size" of a gadget can be calculated now through the Full Gadget Ratio. This looks correct to me.
My buddy Jason forwarded me this South Park Mac vs. PC which really boils the Mac vs. PC debate down nicely.
I've never seen such an odd looking, nor Groovin' Owl in my life.
A hidden gem in the slashdot comments from the Tales from a BBS Junkie book.
Hit the link for the rest of the (uplifting) story :)
I remember back in the mid 90's running a BBS. There was this one guy who would type 1 letter every 10 seconds or so. I would watch him play LORD each day and the minutes would expire before he was done with his turns. One day I saw him online and broke into game chat [SYSOP HAS BROKEN IN FOR CHAT]. [...]
Oh man, how awesome is this video on How To Report The News. Overlay this on pretty much any news broadcast you see on TV and it's a pretty much dead on.
Having done my time in customer support, I can attest that this story from Not Always Right never happens.
Gawker has a great list of The Rules for Calling In Sick.
Passed on from Aryk is How You Live Is Your Choice To Make which has this and other related gems:
Q: Doctor, I've heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart only good for so many beats, and that it...don't waste on exercise. Everything wear out eventually. Speeding up heart not make you live longer; it like saying you extend life of car by driving faster. Want to live longer? Take nap.
Via forgetfoo is the link to The 5 Signs You're Talking To A Social Media Douchebag. Or as I like to think, 90% of the people on twitter (no, not you, you're a cool person on twitter, I'm talking about the other people).
Finally found a "legal" version of the Pants On The Ground parody played on Jimmy Fallon the other night. Story has back story if you're not like me and haven't been hearing about this on the Stern show all morning :)
I have no idea if this is "real", but the The Problem with Young People Today Is... blog is freakin' hilarious:
Q1: Are you demonstrating poor judgment?
Sure, I watched an episode of "Dancing with the Stars" once but only because I assumed it was a Fred Astaire special and not some collection of motley has-beens lumbering around like injured circus bears.
It was a mistake but I've forgiven myself.
And it's nowhere near as questionable as young people tattooing their scrotums and posting videos of themselves dancing around with lightsabres on youtube. Now that's a demonstration of damned poor judgment. And stupid as Hell, too.
Random link found on the net of the 2006 Emmys Opening. Never saw it, glad I watched it now, it's pretty damn awesome.
Reddit asks the excellent question of What happens to your porn after you die? Some users have different ideas than others:
I just have a deadman switch at my computer which needs to be pressed every eight hours, if it isn't pressed, a turtle is released from it's cage, the turtle walks over to a carrot hanging from a shelf, it pulls the carrot, which causes a bearing to roll down a plank and then[...]
Note also the excellent video linked in the comments on porn buddies.
Anyone know what show that's from? The intro note says something about "The Flavors Unlimited" but I don't see any references to that as a TV show. Ah, from "Coupled" (UK version).
Of this list of The Top 10 Worst Attempts At Cutting Down A Tree my favorite has to be the first one simply due to the not-so-happy wife's commentary after the excruciating wait for what you know is going to happen....
Vintage Ad Browser. Great stuff. I can only imagine at how stupid the "cool" ads we have no will look in 100 years....
The epic JWZ is right on my wavelength with his Tivo vs Torrenting thoughts. Pretty much my thoughts.
Great post regarding Smirnov's Theorem on Binary Probability, expounding on the probability of things happening or not.
Let us consider example A: Will you be shot in the face by some guy with a sniper rifle hiding in a bell tower today?
Oddee's list for today is 10 Craziest Plastic Surgeries Made to Look Like Someone Else. Looking at the results, I can safely say that there's not much upside in plastic surgery, these people all seem to come out looking like they got hit in the face with a small Volkswagen.
This came up today in conversation with someone, and I had to post THE classic Unix horror story, originally posted in 1986 regarding what to do if you accidentally rm -rf / on your unix system. Great classic story.
Took me a while to find it, I ended up using keywords of ksh, rm -rf, and echo to find it :)
If you follow pop culture at all you'll probably already know the story about Conan, Leno and the Late Show, but you can be amused by the video where he does seem a bit miffed....
So the stormtrooper pic in JWZ's Star Wars Burlesque post is hot, the C3PO I'm really not sure how I feel about....
Classic Johnny Carson with the Dom DeLuise Egg Trick.
Assuming that this story is real, the My Date with Amanda post over at LameBook describes what is essentially every guys worst nightmare or hell on earth, whichever is worse. Keep with it till the end, it's LOL funny (only because it's someone else of course).
Hilarious.... 38 Snowmen Nightmares: Calvin and Hobbes In Real Life.
Bruce Schneier isn't the biggest fan of the farce that is (ever increasing) airport security and is having a TSA Logo Contest.
Winner receives copies of my books, copies of Patrick Smith's book, an empty 12-ounce bottle labeled "saline" that you can refill and get through any TSA security checkpoint, and a fake boarding pass on any flight for any date.
The graph for Movie popcorn vs. Time perfectly illustrates why I have my movie popcorn the way I do.... go in, get seats, then 5 minutes before the previews start leave, get popcorn, and unless the lines are insane chances are you're sitting back in your seat with fresh warm popcorn as the previews start (missing the pre-preview ads if you time it perfectly).
Fantastic video / song / parody / tribute called Battlestar Rhapsody. Just watch and enjoy.
The People of Public Transit blog posted a video of a guy who is very Horny For Pole. Very odd. Probably from Japan based on the bystanders. NSFW if you're offended by intense man on (literal) pole snuggling action.
This There, I Fixed It is the best kludge I've seen in a while.
Hilarious old Kids in the Hall with Dave Foley talking about the USA and Canada. Probably not as funny to non-Canadians though.
Aryk sent over a great gizmodo linked video of If Only Cats Hunted Computer Viruses Instead of Small Innocent Mammals. Sure it's only posted for the kitteh cuteness, but what a cuteness!
Scruffy the Elf is about as festive as I get at Christmas.
Great T-Shirt of "Zombie Food". When food goes bad.... hehee. Thanks S for the link.
Anyone who has been following the Artie Lange saga lately on the Howard Stern Show will know he's been on and off drugs, and was off last week as he was told to take a break (the audience wasn't really let in on what was going on). The clip below however is a great use of the "Hitler subtitling" meme for just this occasion :)
Note that if you're not into the show most of the references in the video won't make much sense to you.
My ex-boss John discovered what does indeed look like the Best unsubscribe page ever.
Simon's Cat: Snow Business is the latest in the series of simple yet cute and accurate cartoons about a cat. Awesome as usual.
A long, but completely worth the read story of quite possibly the most horrific date you could imagine... ever. I've been on the internet a while so I can imagine some pretty horrific things, but this tops even that. Yes it's from 2005, but I hadn't seen it until now (thanks reddit) so you get to share in my discovery!
Ode To Joy video. I gotta say, Beaker is awesome :)
I honestly don't know exactly what Alan's Rock Video is, but it's catchy and funky looking.
2009 in Autotune. Let the recaps begin!
Why I'd rather be punched in the testicles than call customer service is a fantastic graphical journey into the reasons why tech support (for the most part anyway these days) sucks. I feel the same way.
Today's UserFriendly Strip harkens back to the days when I had these conversations with SilverStr, Fozbaca, Solas and Engel on the exact same subject. Those tended to go to a bit more of an extreme though, I recall getting to "I flipped the ones and zeros with the magnetic pull of the earth and had to wait a year to flip the next bit" more than once.
If you've ever been confused about some of the web service protocols and how they're different, you'll enjoy this Geek and Poke of Service Calling Made Easy defining the difference between REST and SOAP :)
This is an awesome statistic about swearing results by language on Google Code.
Via reddit is a great post listing the back and forth emails between a designer and "client". Well, sort of client. Just please go and read it now. An excerpt :
If I did have a working time machine, the first thing I would do is go back four days and tell myself to read the warning on the hair removal cream packaging where it recommends not using on sensitive areas.
While it doesn't have anything to do with logos and pie charts, it's a nice sample of the humor in the emails. Just go and read it ok? :)
No amount of wrong and fail can describe these horrible cosplay costumes.
CollegeHumor again does a great job with their spoof of the new Twighlight movie with a fake trailer for Twilight: Three Wolf Moon. If you don't get the whole 3 Wolf Moon thing, check out the wikipedia page for the history of the meme.
Another win in the form of "5 Star Wars Status Updates" by Brian Murphy on CollegeHumor via @curtismchale.
Ok, this is not only a lesson in why you never have a game delivered to your friend's house, but in how to keep a straight face successfully for more than 5 minutes while your buddy tries to figure out that he's being Rick-Rolled. Awesome.
Now this is an incredible beard, from a 1991 competition. You really want to wait for the second guy though.
Some of the stuff on Not Always Right is kinda meh, but the Faux-bi-Wan Kenobi story had me LOL at work this morning.
If you need a little room in your relationship, you can't go wrong with these superhero themed breakup cards. No really, what could possibly go wrong?
The Onion has a great and hilarious news piece on how the next Ultra-Realistic Modern Warfare Game Features Awaiting Orders, Repairing Trucks etc. Looking forward to getting my hands on the PC version of this, the first Modern Warfare last year blew my mind.
This skytrain and transit map of Vancouver with station names changed to anagrams is epically awesome!
Oh I'm sure it's photoshoped or fake, but damn, this Highway Sign is damn funny. I wonder if I'd have the balls to do something like that if I were fired from a similar situation?
So his plan is like this... First I dress up like a bat, than I scare the hell out of people. I'm not sure if this is brilliant or insane. Great video though.
When you give the Perfect gift for one polar bear - two tons of ice cubes covered in maple syrup, you get a damn happy polar bear!
Oh come on, it's Monday, and it's a funny video!
The latest Penny Arcade cartoon, In The Seventh House seems to sum up the reactions to Windows 7 I've seen and had myself.
Yea, I know that A Day at the Office is a repeat and it's been around, but what the hell, it's Friday and it's something that will make you smile.
Microsoft bails on sponsored comedy, specifically the deal for the "Windows 7 episode" of Family Guy.
A Microsoft spokeswoman said: 'After reviewing an early version of the variety show, it became clear that the content was not a fit with the Windows brand.'
Seriously, if they were to go with the Family Guy episode and show the world that they're OK with laughing at themselves and taking the penis/fart/puke/etc jokes associated with their flagship product, they'd show that the borg actually has a sense of humor about themselves. Unless of course the brilliant marketing department planned this all along and figured they'd get "buzz" by pulling out of the deal.
All the pseudo-scientists talking about the end of the world and 2012 as if it had any science in there may be 8 years early, turns out that "2012" a Miscalculation; Actual Calendar Ends 2220. At least we now have
8 210 more years before we need to start panicking.
Awesome co-worker send me a link on Building a Robotic Dalek Pumpkin. Seriously, how f-n cool is that!?
Nice catch by Joey about how pet stores are Going After the Dungeons and Dragons Market :)
Host Your Windows 7 Party Today is another great parody from Funny or Die. Not as good as the 'censored' version, but still pretty damn funny.
Daring Fireball points out that in Welcome to the Microsoft Store it really is a carbon copy of the Apple Store. I think that even the Microsofties will agree that this is a pretty blatant rip off of the Apple store experience. It'll be interesting to see how these evolve and change (or die) in the coming months.
It's almost Friday, here's a video titled The Best Cat Video You'll Ever See, and it's pretty damn good.
Remember that Droid teaser that came out the other day with the bunch of "iDon't" things that the iPhone doesn't do? If not, here it is. Anyway, someone has a very cool response video worth watching: iDon't Care.
Merlin Mann shows us 5 Surprising House Hacks. Stuff you didn't know....
As a unicorn chaser to the crazy people, check out this ultra-cute Beagle Puppy vs Rottweiler video over on Snuzzy.
Heard Seregon O'Dassey on the Stern show this morning talking about how there are "Real Vampires". I love the nuts. So basically vampires don't do anything that movie vampires do, other than drink blood or "suck energy", but neither of which is needed to live. Sounds like just a normal person to me, with a side order of attention-whore. Good for an amusing read though.
Via Aryk comes a great College Humor clip of The Sordid Story of the Pixar Lamp over on Gizmodo.
Shared via Facebook from a coworker of mine is this tweet which seems to sum up Google Wave quite nicely :)
Today's Dilbert comic strip is how I imagine people (my parents, non-geeky friends) think that things will happen if they just randomly hit buttons on the computer.
In our (geeks) defense, here's a cheat sheet on how we figure stuff out.
You haven't read the Bible until you have read it in The Brick Testament, where Lego makes everything more awesome.
A very well done spoof of Survivor / countless reality TV mixed with FPS characters called Top FPS appeared on YouTube. Very awesomely done.
I had no idea WTF was going on in this Greatest Story Ever Told Video, but let it finish, it's pretty awesome.
IO9 has a fantastic collection of 14 Reasons Why TV And Superheroes Don't Mix. Somehow the bad CGI in say, Spiderman 3 don't seem too bad compared to the 1977 version :)
Know those videos of random people attacking strangers and getting their asses handed to them? Well here's another... Thugs attack two men in dresses... who turn out to be cage fighters. Now I'm not sure why the cage fighters were in dresses, but based on the fun (starting about 1:10 in), they really will be careful who they start fights with in the future.
You still need $$ and gear, but Wired has a nice look at The Making of a Mind-Blowing Space Photos, with some great examples.
Photo Basement has another reminder that your employer is checking up on you on facebook and (no doubt) other social networks. So if you're going to play hooky, make sure your tweets and status updates put up the same facade :)
You probably saw the Ralph Lauren Photoshop Disaster a bit ago which was so crazily out of reality that I almost thought it was a farce of itself at first. Turns out Ralph Lauren was serious and serious enough they sent a DCMA takedown notice to the ISP. The article reports:
One of the things that makes Priority Colo so awesome is that they don't automatically act on DMCA takedowns. Instead, they pass them on to us and we talk about whether they pass the giggle-test. This one doesn't.
The Boing Boing article lets it all hang out, DCMA takedown notice and all.
ForgetFoo has a nice web designer decision tree.
Maybe it's the lack of sleep or over-caffination, but this comic really tickled my funny bone this morning. Thanks Aryk!
My friend Sarah sent over a video of a Rare Bird Humping a Photographer's Head. Absolutely hilarious to watch! Also note that the non-photographer is the famous and awesome Stephen Fry.
Emails From Crazy People. Pretty much what it says.
From Aryk comes a lin kto the Power Loader Exoskeleton which I totally need. The assholes who walk down the sidewalk four abreast while I'm trying to get to my train would move aside if I had a set of those badboys.... :)
Twits: Dramatic Readings of Celebrity Twitter Updates is possibly the most awesome thing ever.
An actual good use for auto-tune... check out Carl Sagan - 'A Glorious Dawn' ft Stephen Hawking.
If you're an Apple Fanboy you may have been invited to a Windows 7 release party.... either to be converted by your Windows loving friends, or just for the heck of it to laugh at the fact that Microsoft has to bribe people to have parties for Windows 7 (lets be honest, no normal person would think of having a Windows release party on their own). Either way, here's a cool Windows 7 Party decision tree for Mac users.
I have a sneaking suspicion that I'm this guy.
I have loved Gaping Void for a while, but the latest comic, shit creek consulting tickles my consultant heart (with the nagging question of if these are the guys someone call after they deal with me! But I doubt it... ) :)
This It's Party Time! video, with light editing in just the right places, I think is far superior to the original. If you don't know what this is, this is a video that Microsoft and House Party put out to help promote people having their own Windows 7 launch parties. Via reddit.
Surviving the World - Lesson 41 - Pedestrians. It's like he reached into my brain and could see what I was thinking.... I come across this every day walking to the train from work.
Sometimes you're the windshield, sometimes you're the bug. Sometimes you're the bull, and sometimes you're the victim of an epic bull WIN that gets your junk displayed to everyone. I like it when the bull wins.
Ha ha, silly technology, don't you know that you get older as time passes? That's what makes this The Screen Savers "Ultimate Gaming Machine" 1998 pretty amusing. Also Leo LePorte looks like a young whippersnapper.
Dr. Horrible is awesome, as is Neil Patrick Harris, so this video of Neil Patrick Harris Mocking the Internet at the Emmys 2009 is great.
If you've ever had the question of what happens when you put an OLPC in a microwave, well, now you have your answer.
While I sympathize with the store having to deal with crazies, banning a Jedi Knight is a bad thing to do....
Stack Overflow asks What is your best programmer joke?
Is it wrong for me to feel like this C&H cartoon whenever I pull out my iPhone?
"4 Awkward Moments in Facebook "Likes"" by Brian Murphy on CollegeHumor. Presented only with the comment that number 3 is my favorite :)
XKCD's book, xkcd: volume 0 is now available.
S pointed me to the Geekologie bacon flowchart.
On the Secret Diary of Fake Steve Jobs he has Mosspuppet discovering Auto-Tune. Funny.
Techcrunch describes how Facebook pwned them with the 'Fix this picture' joke the other day. I saw it pass by the news feeds but mostly ignored it. TC took the joke in good stride at least :)
Basically Valve are flying people who are bitching about the new Left 4 Dead game and boycotting it out to play, someone complained they weren't being flown out, and Gabe responded that he was being boycotted. Just read the site, makes much more sense there :)
Once again Yahtzee has proven that he is brilliant as he reviews Wolfenstein. Must watch. Now.
I don't normally post to the great stuff on The Daily WTF because I expect anyone who reads UFies.org regularly to already be subscribed there too, but this post about The Ultimate State Selector struck me (as amazingly bad). Anyone who has done any web programming has seen this problem more than once, but I'm sure that most everyone has figured some way to avoid the solution that this particular user found.
Wow, that's all I can say...
Well, they're sort of lampooning themselves, but the gaming industry has released a 'Don't Copy That Floppy' Sequel which Warns of Piracy; Includes id Software Cameo, and Klingons. Also with the same rapper DP. Seems to concentrate more on people selling software and music, instead of the original which was more talking about trading. Interesting shift, sadly not nearly as cool as the original, though the "you'll get raped in prison for copying music online" was a nice twist.
A great story over at the daily WTF about a coder on a doomed game back in the day. Some great and funny stuff in there, like this:
Another fun bug caused the enemy AI to do your work for you. A rogue enemy plane would suddenly reject his mother country and start shooting down his own teammates. That is, until his wings fell off the plane since he was firing his guns. Then he'd kamikaze his plane into the ground, which would launch the plane into outer space that the MicroProse executives probably didn't find nearly as funny as I do.
Felicia Day points that the Premier of The Guild Season 3 is up. Sadly still an "exclusive" MSN Video thing. Bleah.
Bonus: My Box in a Box, a response to "Dick in a Box".
OMFG I have just wasted the last 20 minutes looking through the latest twitter meme #songsincode. Epically awesome. Don't think of it as wasting time, think of it as increasing your coding skills by learning to parse other people's code.
Also I hear that the new facebook 3.0 iPhone app is available, but it's not showing up for me yet.
forgetfoo picks out a test of some great plot summaries. IE:
STAR WARS: A NEW HOPE: Religious extremist terrorists destroy government installation, killing thousands.
Former Ku Klux Klan leader Johnny Lee Clary tells some stories about his days in the KKK. Pretty damn funny actually. The black preacher they're talking about also sounds like an amazing example of tolerance, and defeated the entire clan.
I recently discovered the 'not always right' blog, and it's posts like this that makes it a completely awesome repository of stupid customer quotes :)
I don't personally believe that the poo trap is an actual product.
Normally I wouldn't post something as simple as the Flickr Blog's post on Research in Antarctica if not for the last few images :) Those wacky researchers know how to have fun :)
Len passed on this bit from the Register, and a Zombie plague was analysed by Canadian maths prof and they determined that violence was indeed, the only option. Now where's my shovel?
Highs and lows. Ha! It's funny cause it's true.
YouTube video of Global New's YRandene Neill Accosted by a Dog. I'm sure you've already seen this, but I link to it for a few reasons, partly for the transition from "this is a well mannered dog" to the utter sarcasm of "oh we've sold these two haven't we?". I haven't seen as much dog on woman action since... well, I can't really say least I incriminate myself :) Thanks to Sarah for sending this over to me!
Girls In Bikini Reading Star Wars. Not much more to say really. It's sexist, and probably best to listen to with the sound off.
Conan had this slightly amusing comment on the Microsoft Word injunction thing. Thanks Aryk.
The Onion News Network has a great piece on how thew New Google Opt Out Feature Protects Users' Privacy By Moving Them To A Remote Village. For all you security concerned out there, this is something I recommend you do immediately....
For the lack of humor impaired, this is humor. Though I'm wondering if Google got any calls or emails about this.
Cracked.com proves once again how (some) people are absolutely insane with their expose of a set of 5 Incredibly Impractical Sexual Fetishes. The most revealing thing is the "typical quote" section from the associated fan sites. Makes me scared to leave the house....
I love it when a good idea comes to life. In this case, the Dilbert cartoon where Wally programs his IM to randomly send messages to his boss.... well, someone built it using python and dbus. That is super-awesome.
It's people rolling tires down a ski hill... what could be more fun. You probably want to skip towards the 7:00 mark to see the big tire going down :)
Ha! N00b Boyfriend video from the folks at College Humor.
Great question over at StackOverflow.... How did you get your first programming job? The top story includes this gem:
Luckily I didn't have any quizzes or tests the next day, so I hopped into my P.O.S. Nissan Sentra and drove 3 1/2 hours home. When I got there, I realized that the only suit I had was a tan corduroy leisure suit I last wore in 9th grade. The mall was closed, so I had to make due. Fortunately I was the same height as I was in 9th grade, but the trousers were a tight squeeze.
I really am not sure what this is, but IO9 collected some Star Wars standup videos. Some painful, some funny in their painfulness ;)
If you're a mac lover, you definitely don't want to watch IceT and his Mac Repair.
I know, I know, all these Downfall Hitler mashups get tiring. I do like this new tirade against iTunes though.
A picture of a man with a cat on his head. This is how I go to sleep at night actually, except I'm lying down, and the cat is horizontal on my head, not vertical.
Sometimes it takes something like this to truly show one of the major faults in the Linux world. I'm as big a fan as the next guy (well, unless the next guy isn't a Linux fan), but sometimes the.... "focus" of the community isn't quite where I think it should be :) I want my John Stewart smooth too!
Someone at work posted this awesome gamer shirt design.
GI Joe Movie Battles, Destruction And Torture Reenacted In Toy Form. That about says it all :)
Aryk pointed to this Crude But True, T-shirt.
forgetfoo remembered better than I did that today is sysadmin appreciation day, and notes some of the things that a sysadmin has to deal with each day. Hopefully you hugged your sysadmin today. No one hugged me :(
Kudos to forgetfoo for the adminspotting poster, I wonder if anyone got their t-shirts yet... (old internet meme/joke from the 90's, you probably won't get it unless your an old curmudgeon like me).
Via reddit comes an awesome picture to start your morning with.
I'm sure you've seen this before, so I post it only for completeness. Here's how William Shatner Makes Palin's Speech Into Poetry over on the late show. Personally I think this is brilliant.
Aside: Sucky pre-roll ad crap.
Via reddit. Some of the the year 2000 - from 1900 predictions aren't all that far off actually. Consider that personal airships could be considered small planes (and these days it's not unreasonable for someone to own a little Cessna), undersea tourist boats are part of Disneyland and IIRC West Edmonton Mall, and I've seen them move houses by train on the discovery channel. Hell, the moving pavement is in pretty much all major airports! Of course, the weather control and personal flying machines (assuming these are taken separately from personal airships) were still off. Interesting to see how their ideas were heavily influenced by what was currently "modern". I can only imagine just how completely off our current predictions for the year 2100 will be..
A Washing Machine emulator. Depressingly accurate.
Ok, google is pretty awesome sometimes. Feel free to try the search yourself :)
An ex-coworker of mine just sent me a collection of the 15 Most Literal Photos Ever.
An amusing look at what would happen news wise If Man Walked on the Moon Today.
Penny Arcade has their own look at the announcement that Microsoft will open retail stores near Apple Stores. As you may expect, this RETAIL OBLIVION gets the usual treatment :)
Via one of my flickr groups comes a craiglist ad for someone wanting to get a Nikon D40 any way he can!
It's stupid, immature, probably photoshopped, but I still giggled a bit at this.
Now it all makes sense! this cartoon which matches cartoon characters with medical afflictions explains it all!
Someone on the Valve (the Half Life guys) created a handy Valve Time to actual time chart to help people decipher what phrases like "today" or "this q1" actually mean.
Gizmodo points to what happens if you Auto-Tune the News. This is the same auto-tune that singers use to hide the fact that they can't sing (you know who I'm talking about)...
"Roommate Confessions", some of the most disturbing acts of revenge you'll read today...
The Daily WTF has a great SQL String entry. Best part for me is the final 'added clarity' comment :)
Disturbing but cool Star Wars classic art mash-ups over at Sci-Fi Wire. The page you really want to go to though is the worth 1000 page.
Am I the only one who thinks that this "there I fixed it" isn't such a bad idea?
I know this is supposed to make me feel guilty about eating bad food, but some of the stuff on This is why you're fat looks sooooo good!
Great video over at Boing Boing of the unboxing of a Chinese iPhone knock-off that looks just like an iPhone, and barely works.
IO9 looks at the question of Are We In A Villain Recession?
Don't Copy That Floppy 2 is COMING SOON!
Not for those into naturopathy without a sense of humor.... Homeopathic A&E.
Aryk pointed me to this one on shipment of fail: Suggest a caption as I’m speechless. I LOL'd. I'm speechless too.
OK, this just made me giggle. Short story, 23 year old got drunk, had a knife, figured it'd be a good idea to break into a house and threaten the owner. Turns out the owner was 72. Oh, and a former boxer. The pictures tell the story of what happened. Damn kids get off my lawn!
Funny little deleted scene in Terminator 3 Explains Why The Terminators Look Like Arnold. I understand why they cut it, but really glad it surfaced! Via /Film.
Forgetfoo has an awesome New iPhone 3Gs parody ad from College Humor. Hilarious.
A Man and His… Squirrel? via Snuzzy.com. Very cute, especially the shower scene. And this is a real squirrel I'm talking about, not some innuendo :)
Just a series of pictures, cause I've had a long day and need the amusement :)
Link from digg via my friend SS.... What Your Facial Hair Really Says About You. I have to object, I'd totally take my socks off!
Great addition to the PHP manual page for goto with a bit of XKCD...
Some great Workout Videos to make you feel a bit better about not going to the gym. The exercise ball one is my favorite!
Macenstein points to an honest “laptop hunters” commercial, with a real guy, finding a real laptop, for real things. NSFW audio though.
Jack Russell terrier puppies, live on ustream. Currently the puppies are feeding, and mom is looking very tired.
Here's your laugh for the day... check out Microsoft's Windows Internet Explorer 8: Get the facts comparison page. Don't you love mindless marketing propaganda. The only way that I can see these comparisions being complete and outright lies are some minor wordings put in the comments to explain how Chrome and Firefox don't have security, privacy, web tools, reliability (ha!) and manageability.
This reminds me of talking to someone who has just quit smoking and saying how wonderful they are now, ignoring the legacy of the 2 pack a day habit they left behind (in this case, we call it Internet Explorer 6, still a plague to the web). Ah well, I'm pretty sure that most people reading this site don't use IE8 for anything other than doing Windows Update on their parents and in-laws computers anyway....
Original story and comments on reddit.
Weird Al does Craigslist, Doors style via Boing Boing. Awesome.
If you're a TopGear fan, you'll really enjoy Jeremy's Extreme Ford Fiesta road test. Give it a few minutes to go from funny-serious to serious surreal, and to awesome.
Funny little video on If Google Were Your Roommate...
The Flickr blog has some examples of when You think you’re so funny.
I hear it's the latest craze with the teenagers, so parents beware! Do not let your children near the baby pathers or they could be drawn into the dangerous world of panther huffing!
35 Tip Jars Designed to Make You Give More. First is my favorite I think, Om nom nom...
Someone has gone out and compiled a list of the 25 Best Programmer WebComic Strips. Lots of XKCD and Dilbert in there. I've got about 1/3rd of them ready to be printed out and hung on the wall of my next office.
Wasted Talent has a great cartoon about how your job is like a Japanese RPG.
Speaking as someone who has been on both sides of this relationship, I find The Vendor Client relationship - in real world situations hilarious. Thanks Darren.
Zero Punctuation's review of Duke Nukem Forever has got to be his most brilliant so far. Lots of little stuff in there (as usual) that the hardcore gamers (especially those of us around from the DN3D and who know who John Romero are) will love :)
Star Wars ABC is a set on Flickr. Who wouldn't want to print these out and make flashcards for your little nerdlings?
The Geek “Must Do Before You Die” Checklist. Via a share from Len on Google Reader.
Title basically says it all... A Brief, Incomplete, and Mostly Wrong History of Programming Languages. Awesomely accurate :) To quote:
1972 - Dennis Ritchie invents a powerful gun that shoots both forward and backward simultaneously. Not satisfied with the number of deaths and permanent maimings from that invention he invents C and Unix.
The Duke Nukem Forever List. Celebrating what's taken less time to come out than Duke Nukem' Forever.
Post-It inventor watching viral internet post-it-tricks video. Also has a link to the post-it ticks videos. I recommend clicking through to the vimeo site and watching it in high def. Very cool.
Stack Overflow asks What is the best comment in source code you have ever encountered? and the masses respond with some absolute gems. IE:
//When I wrote this, only God and I understood what I was doing
//Now, God only knows
Thankfully my favorite ("drunk, fix later") is in there too.
Dork Yearbook is a tumble blog of old pictures of nerds and geeks (and dorks) in their youth. Some of these are horrifyingly familiar.
OK, it took me a bit to get this, but when I did, it was the damn funniest thing ever. Check out Pulp Browsers. I won't give you any hints if you don't get it though :) (unless you ask really nicely).
Via Darren, a not-quite-official entry into the list of Microsoft "Laptop Hunters" series of ads: Homeless Frank.
Oh go on, laugh, it's funny :P
Via Aryk.... Man Builds Chair That Tweets His Farts, Single-Handedly Justifying Twitter's Existence. Not much more to say, other than I want my couch to do this. It would certainly make my twitter stream more interesting!
Funniest LOLCat evah? I haz found it! Has awesomeness on many levels.
Funny or Not? April Fools' Day Pranks Roundup. Have I mentioned I can't wait for this day to be over?
Also a 2009 roundup.
Here's an animated gif of an awesome baby trick. Totally going to teach my kids this (if I were to have any)!
Via Daring Fireball: E-mail Addresses It Would Be Really Annoying to Give Out Over the Phone. Use one of these to guarantee that you don't get an email back :)
In other words, feel free to check out this awesome site:
While Failblog shows this as a Baby Name Fail, I say it's a complete and udder win! In other news, I've found the name for my first-born.
Really not much more to say, other than thanks Len for the link.
Oops, dupe! Sorry about that :)
I'm so glad that I'm not the only one that this happens to. Another brilliant XKCD cartoon.
Macenstein asks: What the hell is Best Buy selling? I'm pretty sure that when Apple released the new Mac Mini they didn't stretch it out like that. Really, I have no idea what they were thinking, other than maybe people expect a 2.0 product to be bigger?
The title of OH… MY… GOD should tell you something about how Woz looked on DWTS last night. Still, I must say that the geek troops should rally to keep our man in!
Nunchuck Fail on Fail Blog. Hilarious, even though you know exactly how it will end, and it does, badly.
This brought back memories of spending most of highschool watching endless reruns of Red Dwarf. Smeg.
Great find via RSS.... a flickr account where the owner has a pet AT-AT. Well, picture of one as it if were a pet anyway :)
This change poster is truly awesome. I must have it on my wall!
Random comic about how Puttering can get old on Indexed. Great stuff, and speaking as someone with lots of holidays this year, and no idea where to go, it's very true!
Hilarious link passed on from Danni. Deaf Karaoke Live is fairly indescribable..... just watch and enjoy!
Random link - F*** My Life - FML : Your everyday life stories. Looks like a hangout for angst-ridden teens :)
OK, this one is definitely not for the faint of ear. The Sopranos, Uncensored via /Film is every single swear word from the Sopranos (I presume all 6(?) seasons) into one 27 minute video. Truly awesome in not only scale but execution!
I'm so glad that someone finally brought this up. I've long wondered how to do this and I agree, there's really no good way (outside of adding some random words after the emoticon to pad things out :) like this).
Google Helps You Find a Robot Lady Companion on Mars. Coolest use of an AI, whole compilation of knowledge, and 3D mapping program ever :) Link explains all.
Editor Comparison graphs of learning curves for different editors. Love the vi one :)
This is pretty awesome, a note from @rainmakertom posting about how Stephen Fry posts Twitter updates while trapped in lift.
"Your brilliant comments are keeping us all (hysterically) cheerful. Last a heard engineers still on their way," he Tweeted.
Cool story about the use of this new "twitter" technology. *cough*@arcterex*cough*
Crackulous Allows for App Store Piracy. From Darren. Presented without comment (as it was sent to me).
I know it's old, but this Tropic Thunder promo video was passed on to me today. Hilarious.
Top 10 Funny Answers from Desperate Students. Most amusing. Gracias Mike from work.
Daring Fireball has awesome links to Adobe UI Gripes.
Damn, they caught me!
BEST GOOGLE STREET VIEW EVER | FilmDrunk: The movie blog that hates Colin Hanks
Microsoft Learning spoofs “I love the whole world” via IStartedSomething. Truly awesome.
Collection of totally offensive jokes, not for the faint hearted. They are not kidding.... you're going to hell just for clicking that link.
Darren threw me superuseless superpowers this morning. Awesome.
I LMAO this morning at the Office Poop survival guide via best of craigslist.
Ninja Kitty has some serious overhang rock climbing skills!
I'm not sure I totally understand this image, but it is clear that teddy will understand whatever your mood is...
Laughing Squid has some Essential Target Practice templates for the target shooters among you.
A truer chart was never made.... graphing When my cat sleeps on me.
Apparently a lot (hundreds? thousands? All of them?) of 1st Gen 30G Zunes are failing all at once. Gizmodo has the story with updates. No resolution from Microsoft at this time though.
ObSarcasm - there are "hundreds" of people with Zunes? Seriously?
Update2: Seems the real fix is to wait till midnight.
Voice Activated, Interactive Dancing R2-D2 Astromech Droids. I'm not sure what else to day. It's awesome!
This video from JWZ brings up the question of "why are you morons driving?" Seriously, just stay at home....
Cracked.com has a great "how to write your own version of House" in their Every Episode of 'House' Ever page. Awesome cause it's true of course :)
Another awesome MythBusters YouTube Live paintball event. Super-cool, they do have the best job in the world don't they?
I've seen the Daily WTF story of DOLLARS and SENSE all over the social news sites and it is epically awesomely bad, especially if you know anything about programming or assembler code. It occurs to me that this is the opposite of The Story of Mel, a classic story from Usenet from '83 and a task of Herculean awesome programming, about the opposite of the WTF story.
Darren passed me a great video of the Kids in The Hall's Scott Thompson as he passes a Portal challenge. Barely. Much hilarity ensues.
I read I can haz cheeseburger, failblog, hot dogs, etc and enjoy the heck out of them, but I had to share this Security Fail. My first LOL moment of the morning :)
Ha! Via fozbaca on the Twitter comes a great article on how Tables are The Next Evolution in CSS Layout. Very similar to the 'just give up and use tables' link I posted last week :)
My buddy Len threw over a link to a youtube video of a "Real Transformer". Pretty cool.
It's long been held that the old jokes are the best jokes... Dead Parrot sketch is 1,600 years old - Telegraph
It takes a bit to get to it, but this Dance Fail over at fail blog is epic.... you just gotta wait for it....
Pretty sound advice (from my experience anyway) regarding CSS and Table layouts..... Give Up and Use Tables
We've scientifically determined the maximum amount of time that you should need to make a layout work in CSS[...]
Ha! Check out this flickr post: I'm actually Knuth's homeboy. Kinda jelous...
From my friend Rob comes this little tutorial on How to Tell if Your Cat is Plotting to Kill You. I'm not sure about you, but I see all these in my cats, and am now fearful for my life. Please protect me. My results from the accompanying quiz are below:
So I just had to post this link for a couple of reasons. First, the story of a guy with a wolf as a pet is pretty cool, as I used to know a guy like that and played with wolves when I was a lad and they are awesome. Secondly, the comments to the reddit story are awesome, from the internet rule comment by floydiannyc and then the narwals comments, down to a conversation about owning cats and how they are good at hiding evidence of their killings.... and then it gets interesting :)
Brian found this on gizmodo: Photoshop Contest: 23 Personal HUDs That Would Make All of Our Lives Easier. Ones like this one make me agree that we all need a personal HUD (and gig-eee direct to the brain, but that's another thing).
I did also just LOL at the message in the bottom right of this entry.
Laughing Squid has an ad described as: Giant Kitten Headed Humanoid Cat Fight In Toyota Corolla Ad. Bet you didn't think you'd ever see those words all together did you?
Via /film I found a post called The Land of the Free which is a set of pictures of dressed up Star Wars fanboys at home. Very odd/interesting/bizarre :)
Darren pointed me to a great youtube of A Mercedes was traveling on 3 wheels. So that's what that funny noise was!
Part of the marketing for the new Kevin Smith movie is that you can get you own Zack and Miri Star I.D.. You can now call me "Snowball Adams" or "Two-Pump Chump" if you like.
No, not really.
Khensu threw me a link to The Manga Guide to Databases.
I have no idea what to say.
OK, it's just a comic, but Miscellanea seems to have a good grasp of The Behavior Modification Loop of Epic Fail. :)
Matthew Inman has a funny look at The 8 Phases of Dating (and others below, including 10 reasons why it would rule to date a unicorn).
Nice list on networkworld of 23 things I wish would just go away. Apple, Microsoft.... no on is spared.
I'm quite sure doing this in real life would be somewhat of an HR issue, however the Diet Coke Mentos Booby Trap video looks damn funny!
This is too cute not to share, check out this I Kissed A Dog mashup song.
Posted so I don't lose them again, two great best-of craigslist posts:
Hilarious video shared with me this morning. Simply titled No Jackie Chan Bollocks it came up during a conversation about martial arts. Very funny, sorry if I'm the last person to see this :)
Remember the made-for-internet comedy videos to be done by Family Guy's creator Seth MacFarlane? Yup, they're here in all their burger king corporate whoring glory! :) I'll be watching these on the train to work this morning to see how they are.
So I finally understand it.... in a video pointed to by Darren the FCC Okays Nudity On TV If It's Alyson Hannigan.
And really, what's wrong with that?
Mmmm..... Alyson Hannigan.....
Cute story from snuzzy.com about a Vancouver police officer saving ducklings. Definitely one for the cute files....
I know I say this ever time, but Zero Punctuation's review of Eve Online is the best Zero Punctuation ever :)
Accordion guy has a link with The “Things to Say During Sex” Chart. Absolutely hilarious.
Darren pointed me to the Bigfoot press release. Most amusing.
OMFG how did I miss this the first time I heard about it! Temp Fortress 2. TF Machina at it's best.
I so want a poster of these Internet Safety Guidelines (via reddit). Truer words I haven't seen for ages.
I always enjoy watching video of people failing amazingly and hurting themselves... what can I say, it amuses me. Therefor check this out on Break.com: X-Games My Ass! Check Out The Y-Games!
I love Triumph.... here the always awesome is Triumph the Insult Comic Dog at Comic Con.
Great collection of the Best Star Wars Costumes from Comic-Con.
A great and classic story somehow I managed to miss.... The Graphing Calculator Story is the story of a guy working inside Apple and building an app while not actually employed.
We looked at each other, took a deep breath, and launched the application. The monitor burst into flames. We calmly carried it outside to avoid setting off smoke detectors, plugged in another monitor, and tried again.
[My friend's] contract in another division at Apple had just ended, so he told his manager that he would start reporting to me. She didn't ask who I was and let him keep his office and badge. In turn, I told people that I was reporting to him. Since that left no managers in the loop, we had no meetings and could be extremely productive.
Great read, classic net lore stuff.
Another morning /Film video link: Star Wars vs. Rush Hour.
OK, so this is the funniest thing I've read in a while: Fifth Avenue Gazette: The Taint Grooming Issue (by Tommy Lee Jones). To quote $coworker "I laughed so hard I pooped a little bit."
I used to think that hard core wrestling fans were kinda dumb-asses, and after seeing a video where Wrestlers need a chair and fans deliver I'm both amused and assured my original assessment was correct!
Hilarious site I can't believe that I have never seen before: The Official Ninja Webpage:REAL Ultimate Power!!!!. OMFG that is funny.
Described as "when 1-10 isn't enough", the The Area Code Rating System is truly innovative! Who said that everything to be invented has already been invented!? Bah! I say.
Okay, here is how it works. Every human being on the planet can be adequately described using a three-digit number (i.e. area code).
See the website for details and examples.
Almost guarenteed to be the oddest Shaolin Soccer Japanese Matrix Style video you'll see today. Thanks Brian for passing it on.
Amusing story sent to me from a guy at work who knows what line of business I used to do tech support for :) Last Line Says It All.
Funny as hell, though if you're at work you probably want to use headphones.... Teletubbies: Shake That Ass Bitch. Thanks B!
OMG, /film points to Dance Off with the Star Wars Stars, a hilarious take on Dancing with the [whatever] type TV shows. Chewie dancing with a Jawa, that's all I'm going to say! :)
From the Onion, Steven Seagal’s CockPuncher Movie Trailer.... finally a role I can get behind Steven Segal in!
Toys for the Disturbed. Very.... disturbing.
So scary it's funny.... check out Overdue Retirement on The Daily WTF. A sampling:
"Backups: not a chance! When I started I asked about the backup procedures. I was told that all the software was stored on the 'software notebook.' Yes, a notebook.
I'm not a huge weezer fan (except for one song), but when Darren pointed me to the video of Pork and Beans and told me it was epically awesome, I have to agree. The Digg page has links to all the memes and internet superstars that are featured. Numa Numa guy!!!!
Hilarious video passed on from Darren - Hitler Plans Burning Man.
Couple of quick Indy links for ya'll
Just a little bit of naughty language, however hilarious is this "Piracy PSA" with McLovin, the geeky guy from Superbad.
Via Reddit.com comes this old (judging by the computer pictured) news article (assuming it didn't come from the National Inquirer) about how Hackers can turn your computer into a BOMB (emphasis mine). Nothing better on a monday morning than funny old propaganda!
Check out this LeaveMeAloneBox Video. This is a box with a switch on it that when turned on it does nothing but turn the switch off. For some reason I find this hilarious. Hit the main page for more info and pics, specs, etc.
An Engineer's Guide to Cats. Hilarious. Especially if you're a cat owner.
Oh I'm sure it's old but found a video of what to do if you find Naked Pictures of Your Buddy's Girlfriend via digg. SFW and very funny.
Sent by Mike at work with the title of not amused :)
Remember a while back a senator in the states quoted, or joined, or had something to do with the flat earth society, which caused a bit of a hubbubb. I read through the main page (don't remember what it is) and was amazed at the wackyness of it all.
Anyway, the latest nutso theory is the Time Cube. It has something to do with a four sided day, or 4 days, one day of a good god and one day of an evil one, or something like that....
Time Cube's ineffable Truth. 'Cubeless Word' is not Truth. Word justifies all human evil. Time Cube is a test for Truth. Circle measure is slop bucket. God belief 50% god disbelief. Truth is 100%, belief is 50%. Time Cube is Truth creation.
As with all wacky websites, it's unreadable, a mix of fonts, large font size, lots of colors and italics and is pages and pages long. Don't these people know anything about public relations and how to attract people to actually read their sites? The site that is denounced on the main time cube site is even worse, with a far more vomit inducing color scheme.
LOL Together--a lolcat filk of the Beatles' "Come Together". I'm really not sure if there's anything else to say.... it's hilarious and surreal at the same time.
Ten Reasons Why I Need A Girlfriend at Duane Storey.
The Escapist : Zero Punctuation: Turok is out today.... awesome review as usual.
Found via reddit is a video of a live rickroll pulled off by rocketboom.
Bad Movie Physics: A Report Card - nice view of how good or bad space movies are :)
Valleywag is right, this Flowchart needs no explanation. Well, other than how to get it poster sized to hang over me while I play D&D on the internets with the google.
Hilarious rant from Rob Paravonian on how all music is all the same... funny, and with examples.
Rejected Cartoons, passed on from a coworker.
Very cool project from Make is a Serial-mouse-driven Etch-a-Sketch, via Boing-Boing.
Cooking up a Poor Man's RAID-Z with ZFS, USB Memory Sticks, Solaris, and VMware Fusion from over at the VMWare Fusion Blog.
Heheheheh, pic of what you need in case of Headcrab Infestation. Half Life understanding required :)
BankWest Singing Kittens. Just watch it....
Jimmy Kimmels F@cking Ben Affleck Response to Matt and Sarah. Not as funny or catchy (IMHO) as the original, though still pretty funny! Wish it was uncensored :)
Great video pointed to by Veronica Belmont of Jonathan Coulton performs "Still Alive" in Rock Band with a couple of special guests.
I found my next must-have knitting project (as I got a Dalek)... the R2D2 Beanie!!
The Escapist : Zero Punctuation: Yahtzee Goes to GDC. Not much more need said.... absolutely hilarious, anyone who doesn't watch Zero Punctuation, really needs to subscribe IMMEDIATELY! :)
Darren threw me a link to a Leaked RIAA Training Video: Find Pirates, Find Crack-Dealing Terrorist Murderers Too!. Apparently people who are music pirates are also generally buying crack with their downloads, while burning the flag with flamethrowers aimed at YOUR UNBORN CHILDREN.
God bless the USA!
What an awesome ad via WinExtra.
I resisted watching the video She's F-n Matt Damon, a hilarious video from Sara Silverman to her boyfriend Jimmy Kimmel... very funny (though not as good a song IMHO as Matt Damon's other great song "Scotty Doesn't Know" from Eurotrip). Not bad, not bad at all.
Classic video everyone should see..... Red Dwarf: Smeg Ups by BBC Worldwide Sci-Fi.
My buddy Robert sent me a video of this interview, which I admit, took me a bit to determine if it was from a sitcom or a legitimate news show. Honestly it's a bit more sane that some of the news interviews I've seen these days!
It's stories like Do not run this script, ever! from Daily WTF that makes me think that we as sysadmins, will never, ever win. Also that the stupid people in the world are getting smarter, without actually getting.... smarter.
I asked what he thought when the script printed "DO NOT EVER RUN THIS SCRIPT" and exited without doing anything. The newbie said he saw that, but really wanted to see what it did, so he commented out the "exit 1" and ran it again.
I'm pretty sure this singer didn't see it coming, but luckily the music (and impeccable lyrics) kept on going without a hitch. What skill!
Cracked.com has the list of 5 Douchebag Behaviors Explained by Science.
Aperture Science Rocks: The Top 12 'Still Alive' Cover Versions. That pretty much says it all.... some very bizarre renditions of JoCo's "Still Alive".
A Day in the Life of Two Portal Turrets via ShackBlog. Hilarious, though you have to have played portal to really "get it" all.
Moderately amusing video with the personalities of the various websites around. I found the "flickr" guy particularly funny for the 2 seconds he was shown :)
Found a video of Mintys Comedian Of The Month May 2007 - Jim Jeffries and decided that Jim Jeffries is possibly the funniest person on the planet, regardless of his crudity. If you're sensitive to nasty words, keep on going, if not, this guy is hilarious, I was practically bent over and in pain from laughter for the entire ten minutes. More of his YouTube vids here.
One of my favorite Windows Blogs has a wonderfully cutting and delicious smackdown to the Windows Ultimate Extras team, around their inactivity of late. Just head over and read Hi Ultimate Extras, we noticed you’ve been inactive…
The latest Zero Punctuation on Silent Hill Origins is the funniest thing I've seen this year, I can pretty much assure you of that. And I've never played any Silent Hill game or watched any Silent Hill movie, so I'm sure it'll be even better for people who actually know what he's talking about!
I know it's not funny, but check out these World's Most Amazing Videos: Volume 1 over on youtube. Lots of smashes, crashes and explosions.
Inappropriate Children's Book Titles... hilarious.
I love cute things and sites like cuteoverload.com, and I do try not to post every cute link I see there, cause it'd be damn annoying and you guys can use the interwebs to find the tube that connects you to that site anyway. However, this video of a snoring cat made me LOL and LMAO, which is fairly unusual. So enjoy.
Mini Me Does World of Warcraft... not as good as the Mr. T one IMHO, still funny though.
Via reddit: chalain: Computers Fear Me.
I forgot Pascal 15 years ago. This is not the same as never having learned it. For one thing, you mutter under your breath a lot more.
Reminds me of some of the ugly hacks and screen scrapers I've done in my time.... :)
How To Spot a Cylon. We all need one.
Funny look at how Windows XP is a great upgrade to Vista.
Just for shits and giggles, check out the original Tripping the Rift animation.
Looks like the Daily WTF also sees stupid people in the post for plz email me teh codez. Same situation as I have with complete idiots posting follow up questions again, and again, and again (over 2000 comments so far BTW).
Darren pointed me over to Here Comes Another Bubble - The Richter Scales a great song/video on YouTube. Very catchy.
Another Laughing Squid Find is a set of videos of Daniel Chesterfield, Magic That Defies The Ordinary. Last video is my favorite, but you need to see the other ones to set up the vibe as it were :)
I present to you Italian Spiderman Trailer with no further comment.
Amusing.... 10 Reasons Why Johnny Cash Owns Chuck Norris.
1 - Only one man who has ever lived has been bad enough to be called “The Man In Black” and it wasn’t Chuck Norris
Hit the link for the rest.
Eight Classic Cinematic Verbal Beatdowns.... fantastic clips to watch, especially if you're in a murderous rage :)
New WoW Ads Recruit Mr. T and Shatner. Hilarious, thanks Darren.
Amusing, what happens when an iPhone Equipped Passenger Takes On Flight Crew Over Weather. Turns out that your iPhone telling you it's sunny when you're delayed on the tarmac isn't the definitive answer that you're smarter than the pilot or air traffic controller :)
Coding horror reminds you: Don't Forget To Lock Your Computer.
A similar method to what we use at work, which is one of:
Top Gear is a british show that I really love, and hardly ever watch. However, Cute Overload posted this clip of the smallest car ever which is hilarious. Not only is the car small, it's tiny. So small you can drive it to your work front door, then pull it into the office with you, up the elevator, and sit it beside your desk. Just watch it.
Scottish star trek. Hilarious (and completely incomprehensible).
Funny costumes for Halloween next year.... almost like a Home Zoo!
Sorry for the more Portal news, but JoCo posted a link to a video of Cute Virtual Idol Sings Portal Song.
Sorry for the lack of news..... been a couple of LONG days here at work.
I haven't read more than the headline, but when you see that GAP was caught using child labor to make GAP kids clothing you have to chuckle, then look up "ironic" in the dictionary again.
The JoCo Primer - Listening Suggestions is a great selection of music from Jonathan Coulton, whose work you'll be familiar with if you have a) finished Portal or b) are familiar with this troubador of John Hodgman (from the Daily Show and The PC Guy from the Apple ads).
Thanks Darren for pointing me out this guy existed.
So, when did Luke, Vader and Chewie have a band?
The oops list is an amusing collection of "oops" pictures, comics, etc. Lots of aviation related stuff, and you know how bad it is when you combine "oops" with "huge chunk of flying steel".
I think I posted about this guy's review of The Orange Box a bit ago, well, here's a list of all his reviews, of which all that I've watched so far, are hilarious.
Press The Spacebar 2000, a flash game. So simple, and yet, so fun! (and potentially keyboard destroying :)
Wake Up! - the essence of catness. Spoken as the owner of three of the little buggers, I can attest this has happened more than once :)
I thought it'd end up being a joke, but check out how this guy Played Through Episode Two Holding A Goddamn Gnome (note: some spoilers) to get the 'gnome achievement'. Absolutely hilarious, and skillful. Note that the gnome also has his own blog about the whole thing!
Some of The Best of Maury Povich, including such classics as the pickle girl, 11 paternity tests, and so on.
Amusing little thing: 25 Reasons You Might Be A Hardcore Graphic/Web Designer. Of note for me is:
* You’ve kept a ragged concert ticket just so you could scan it.
I still have the concert tickets from when I got into the second row at a Garth Brooks concert back in the mid-90's (and got to hug Garth Brooks's Mom as well, but that's another story :)
I wish someone had explained things like this back when I was younger :)
No idea where this is from, but this 2.5 minute video on What TOP GUN is really about by Quentin Tarantino is absolutely hilarious (and makes total sense :)
Comic from Joy of Tech to help you rationalize your piracy.
Cool look at where the best websites of 2001 are now: Internet Allstars ‘01: Where are they now? Interesting... most of the sites I didn't use, with the exception of a couple. I do miss the unadulterated music that was AudioGalaxy though, a lot of uhmm.... a friends mp3 collection was created with help from AG.
Perez is the best in celeb gossip, according to him. However, Britney’s New Nickname is hilarious. "Unfitney". Ha!
Wow, lots of interesting stuff in The 7 Strangest Post-Sitcom Careers (where are they now). Via Digg.
furries vs klingons.... a greater nerd-fest I cannot imagine.
For the Birds, video of shoplifting seagull.
Sent to me by a coworker with the simple comment of "so very wrong". Hilarious Man / Woman Dog Diet. Starring the big guy from Hot Fuzz / Shaun of the Dead. Darren tells me it's days old though. Bah. Still funny though.
Forgetfoo pointed to Daily WTF's collection of Best Budweiser Advertisements. Nice find!
Hilarious picture of Opera vs. Firefox vs. Internet Explorer on the Opera Watch website via Digg.
Much as I'd love to use Opera, I've grown a bit too dependent on a few of the plugins to let it go.
Hilarious video on YouTube called If YouTube Comments Met Real Life Situations. Great way to start the morning out!
Doing a little research on how well the Roomba works on cat hair for my place, and found a set of cute videos with pets and the roomba.
Via Darren comes a monday morning really funny cat video. Horribly cute.
Somehow this picture reminds me of my relationship with my boss....
Hilarious Internet Safety Tips. The carebear one made me giggle.
TorrentFreak has a great article on how a bunch of MediaDefender Internal Emails Go Public. Basically a .torrent with 700mb of raw mail files from Media Defender about how they are setting up a site for the purpose of getting people to upload copyrighted material, and bust them. Great read.
Ha! Sure, Fight for Kisses is a razor ad, but wow, holy crap it's funny and good.
Cute comic on how to quit caffeine. I tend to go into the 'cold turkey' phase now and then....
Someone came up with the idea of Pretend to be a Time Traveler Day. Definite potential to mess with people's minds and have fun (or look like a total idiot) :) Great comments if you keep reading down the thread.
You could also pretend to be from the very recent future (a la "7 Days"), maybe even only a few hours.
Wear normal clothes, covered in dust. Stagger up to people, grab them and say, "you need to get out of the city now!" then run off.
Your dose of cuteness can be found here. You may now return to your normal programming.
Wow, a) computers get old fast and b) Dvorak hasn't changed a bit :)
Funny pie chart of a Time breakdown of modern web design, showing what percentage of time is spent on what. A fantastic illustration on why I don't do web design :)
Speaking of which, anyone bored and want to design a new design for UFies.org? :)
OMG. I challenge you to watch this Top That! Video (horrible 80s cheese) in it's entirety. Really. Bonus points if you're a child of the 80s.
If you don't know what "dumber than a sack of
hammers happy" means now, watch Miss Teen USA 2007 - South Carolina answers a question and then come back to me. I'll wait.
To be fair, I'm sure she was flustered, but really, come on, can't people string a sentence together? One that, like, has an ending that has something to do with the beginning that has something to do with the question asked, like, okay?
The sad thing is, I'm sure she'll do ok in the world, for some reason society these days seems to reward the bim-tards.
Forget foo has The Net in 12 Minutes, an amusing and horrific montage of the best and worst moments in those little video clips you see passed around.
Anyone else find this picture that JWZ posted strangely and almost disturbingly hot? Or is that just me? Please say it isn't just me...
Great guide from Stanford on how to prepare for parenting.
If they are ugly or stupid, you will have to endure them for a long time to come.
Top 10 Halo Pick-Up Lines. Yet another reason to get an XBox 360....
I'm so getting a Level 1 Human baby shirt when I have a kid!
A hilarious look (note the 'what would have happened in real life' sections) of 5 of the Most Absurd Superhero Origins.
Unfortunate (Sexual) Things About Being a Man. As if the world needed to beat us down more!
Much More Than Meets the Eye - hilarious comic, another one I'll have to subscribe to.
It takes a bit to get going, but hang in there, this Aqua Teen Hunger Force Movie Intro is actually really good!
Hehehe, nice tips on How to Prepare for a Date.
Under no circumstances should these phrases ever leave your mouth on date:
1 - "…and that's why the courts ordered that I be castrated."
Read the full thing for the funny.
I've seen this Internet Chatroom Parody a while back, but hey, I'll post it again. Basically what an internet chat would look like in real life.... and based on my own trolling experience, it's pretty accurate :)
Funny list of B10 things i hate about star trek:
Between Scotty's poor lubrication habits and Geordi's damned polarity reversing trick, it's a wonder the Enterprise doesn't just spontaneously explode whenever they put the juice to it.
It is said that Real Men Love the Fifth Element... and if so, I am a real man.
Not everyone is an iphone fanboy, some even think that The iPhone is a piece of shit, and so is your face. Caution, bad words present in the webpage. And the blink tag. Heathens!
LOL - the New Yorker's article on what I used to think people were saying about me.
Yup, another this-is-true kinda moment.
Fozbaca posted a link to a video Perl in a Nutshell, the song.
... Easy to write
Not always easy to reeeeeeeaaaaadddd.....
Great video of when Kids Ignite A Matchstick Bomb consisting of 30,000 matchstick heads. Booya!
Great video about how people smuggled thousands of electronics into the superbowl and spelled out a secret
terrorist funny message.... check out The Super Stunt.
Hilarious video about the transformer Soundwave and his life after the original 1986 movie entitled: Soundwave - The Touch.
Got an IM from my super-windows and super-security dude main man Dana with a link to Porn and it's Relation to Your Social Life which had me rolling.
I of course, fall on the far left side of the graph.
On a related note this came while I was reading up on why techs steal your porn when you bring your computer in for repair.
Found a funny list of 25 Things I Have Learned in 50 Years from Dave Barry. Nice mix of funny and serious....
If there really is a God who created the entire universe with all of its glories, and He decides to deliver a message to humanity, He will not use, as His messenger, a person on cable TV with a bad hairstyle.
StupidiPhoneLady.com is a site with just a video of, you guessed it, a Stupid iPhone Lady. Watch the full story for all the goodness :)
Without comment I present Sugar Bush Squirrel-The Superstar Squirrel.
If anyone can explain this to me, I'm waiting...
Title says it all..... TOP 20 RIDICULOUS ACTION MOVIE MOMENTS.
Mika Brzezinski of MNSBC rips Paris report to shreds on live TV, refusing to follow the rest of the so-called news stations showing 24/7 Paris Hilton news. The best part of this is the look of utter frustration and hatred as her producer refuses to change the teleprompter and as the other reporters around her continue to talk about it.
Not sure if it was journalistic integrity or simple frustration with the absolutely inane media circus surrounding the blond celebutard, I'm hoping a little of both.
BTW, Paris is looking fabulous, I heard she had a coffee ordered in, yes, a coffee, not sure what brand, let me get you some stock live video footage of the coffee van pulling up to her mansion, and we'll show it over, and over, and over, and over until you want to nuke her and the "entertainment news" from orbit (it's the only way to be sure).
Coding Horror asks the question of Does Anyone Actually Read Software EULAs? Also a nice run through of why EULAs suck.
Video of Josh Blue's performance on Last Comic Standing. You'll recognize Josh as the comedian with cerebral palsy, and a damn funny guy. Note in particular his responses to the judges after his quick set. Via Reddit.
I'm in UR Internets, sending UR websites for example :)
Found via digg is a video and pictures of how to set up a first person shooter view in real life... the original site is down, but here's a mirror. That'd be really trippy to watch yourself as you move around.
Over on the Dilbert Blog Scott Adams of Dilbert fame shows us all How to Make a Comic Strip.
I found scans of The most amazing book ever!
It's horses ("Latawnya" in particular) showing why drinking and drugging is bad.
Thanks to my buddy Brian for the Prarie Dog... but remixed! Here's Baron von Prairie by Nitro.
Via Craigslist is A Friendly Reminder from your IT Department:
2. If you are going to use my stuff, then use it properly. This means LEARN ABOUT FUCKING SPYWARE. If you absolutely HAVE to go to some site during work hours (and we’ll talk about this in a minute), then make sure, when the popups start showing up, you click the little black X in the upper right hand corner. Don’t click the big flashing “OK” in the middle. Don’t. Whatever it is you think you should do – if it’s not that little grey X in the uppermost right corner, don’t do it. Don’t. Just. Fucking. Don’t.
Found on Micheal Bay's blog, a Transforms shirt: Giant Fucking Robots are Coming. Hilarious, regardless of the suckage of the movie (which I'll be seeing opening weekend regardless). I'll take one of those please :)
Oh wow, this is hilarious..... check out this article on the Miracle diet pill with teeny-tiny side effect. Basically the cure is way worse than the symptom it's curing I think. Read for yourself though.
“You may feel an urgent need to go to the bathroom. Until you have a sense of any treatment effects, it’s probably a smart idea to wear dark pants, and bring a change of clothes with you to work.”
Fantastically funny conversations Overheard in New York.
Fairly amusing / cute / clever / meh-ok Linux commercial is out.
Hilarious article on The Onion entitled After 5 Years In U.S., Terrorist Cell Too Complacent To Carry Out Attack.
"We remain wholly committed to the destruction of America, the Great Satan," al-Sharif said. "But now is not a good time for us. The season finale of Lost was such a cliff- hanger that we have to at least catch the first episode of the new season. After that, though, death to the infidels."
I'm sure this is obvious, but this video on how To Catch a Predator (perverted justice) doesn't work.
Shockingly enough, the motives of Reality TV / Entertainment news / the utter shit that passes for "news" don't mix with actual law, law enforcement, or people actually interested in catching predators not for "good entertainment". Worth a watch for sure, even more so if you're a fan of this tv program (for real or for laughing at).
Dad at Comedy Barn is 100% proof (IMHO) that laughter breeds laughter, and someone with a funny laugh breeds even more laughter. Check from about 1:45 into the video above when they get to the guy in the middle.... keeps on going and going and going and is the funniest damn thing I've seen in ages!
Two words any man will cringe just reading..... "testicle attack".
Confessions of a Samurai Coder.... familiar to anyone who has said "you know, I could do this better with a little refactoring...." :)
Thanks to cuteoverload I have the coolest video of rats on a wheel you'll see all day.
Funny set of images with some Matrix themed images called The Microtrix.
JWZ throws out a cool thing... Wikigroaning.
I have to give stopmyspacing props for being a great myspace page :)
Some people have fantastic ideas.... I really want one of these!
Hilarious stand up routine on How NOT to use PowerPoint.
Ever wonder what happens if you give yourself a one-second taser burst? If so, read on!
Darren points me to a video from JediInsider of the Star Wars Celebration IV: Family Guy Preview. Absolutely hilarious. Anyone know when this is playing for real? This looks like a preview shown on a big screen with an audience.
Now this is funny.... benchmark comparing a mac from 1986 running System 6 against a brand new XPSP2 Dual Core AMD machine. You Won't Believe Who Wins.
3) All of the tests were performed with a generally recommended amount of RAM for the OS configuration. For the Mac Plus, that was 4MB. For the AMD that was 1GB.
Even benchmarks like the 'boot to desktop' had me giggling... wow, the more things change the more they suck eh? Course, they didn't have quake back then, either.
Hilariously Nasty Breakup Letter.
Watching you parade around my bedroom in a thong was a little like watching sea lions mate. Thought you might like to know.
Some more Mac PC Spoofs, with the crosshairs on the Mac this time, depicting Macs as rude, lazy stoner losers who can't get the girl. Funny, kinda.
Great South Park Mac vs. PC parody. Hilarious :)
Best Scenes of All Time. Says it all, sit back and enjoy.
The 20 Funniest Computer Geek Humor Bits of All Time, including classics like "The Internet Help Desk", "Troops", and other great ones. Ah, the memories.....
Title says it all, funny article, The Chinese Tattoo Prankette is amusing. Here's a sample:
So I launch into the questions: what made her decide on a Chinese symbol, who was the artist, were they Chinese, everything except what the symbol stood for. She stammers through the answers, which boil down to no real reason for the Chinese, no real interest in Asian culture or language, just got the tat from some white American dude in a shop in Sayerville. Then she launches into an explanation of what it means: inner peace or some nonsense.
A nice video compilation of Star Wars mistakes (some quite obscure). Looks great for trivia night at the nerd party :)
Hi, I'm Ruby on Rails..., in the vein of "Hi, I'm a mac". Quite funny.
A very inventive use for a spoon, syringe, mirror, and lighter... making pancakes!
Right on the heels of how to detect image fakery comes a great page of creative photos (some might even call them faked :)
Ever wonder what happens when you plug the video-out port on your video card to the video-in port on your capture card? Well, now you do. Fairly predictable, but still amusing for a few seconds anyway.
Of coruse, we all know that It Doesn’t Pay To Be “The Computer Guy”, finally someone's enumerated them from 1 to 10 (or actually, 10 to 1).
The computer guy never hears anyone tell him, “I just want to let you know … everything is working fine!”
Good to know where they put the porn they steal off your systems.... apparently you shouldn't trust geek squad. Sadly one more example of a good idea gone bad due to marketing and not paying people enough :(
Another Mac/PC parody... Hi, I'm a Marvel...and I'm a DC.
Here's a funny analysis of stock photography called 9 things I learned about the world from anonymous stock photo models.. Very amusing
5. The amount of forced enthusiasm you have for a commercial product is directly proportional to how big of an asshole you are.
Photogs, especially ones who appreciate those nice long white lenses, will probably cringe at this.... click the link a few posts down for a picture of the results (may only work if you click it from the first link though). That's an expensive foul ball!
Hows this for a theft deterrent? :)
Well, satire site BBSpot has come out with a pretty conclusive Operating System Showdown: Ubuntu Vs. Vista. Hard to argue with comparisons like these!
Pretty simple, The Most Excruciatingly Painful, Yet Typical, Customer Service Call Ever. I'm not even on the phone and I want to strangle the guy on the other end of the phone!
I have no idea if this is real or not, but man it made me LOL today.
(Note, first shot at embedding youtube on UFies...)
Worse Than Failure announced the Olympiad of MisGuided Geeks contest, or OMGWTF. Basically you download skeleton code and fill in the TODOs to simple functions and are judged on ugly, buggy, or clever code.
I wish I could enter an ex-girlfriend of mine in this, a drama major who took a level 100 programming class to fill out her electives. I tried to explain stepping through simple programming constructs like loops or if statements, and well, lets just say the way that drama majors and computer geeks brains work is way different :)
"So if the loop starts and i is 0, and in the loop it increments i by 1, what's i when it gets back to the start of the loop?"
"How much more?"
"OK, so when it starts, how much is i?"
*shoots self and runs away*
(OK, maybe it wasn't quite that bad..... I didn't shoot myself, just stabbed my foot with a fork.)
Darren pointed me to 50 Reasons Why Star Wars Is Better Than Star Trek:
Sure, Bones is a fine physician. But this conversation can't start until he puts a torpedo in a two-meter wide exhaust vent with his eyes closed.
Great stuff, love #8: "Pockets" :)
The hardest mario level video has been around for a few days and at 23 minutes long I really thought it was really a bit long.... however, when the swearing angry ranty commentary is added, it gets soooo much better :)
Hayden Gallery. For you perves who watch heroes just for the cheerleader :)
Great story on how Paris Hilton was pwned over on wwttd:
Last September, the story broke that guerilla graffiti artist Banksy had smuggled 500 doctored copies of Paris Hilton's debut album into stores throughout the UK, where they sold without anyone knowing they were fake.
Details include that the CDs were put out with fake linernotes, cover, and even faked music.
I cry for the children of today and the crappy music they have....
... and on a a mission from God....
Hilarious story / joke. No idea if it's a true story or not, but it's v.funny (you have to stick with it though :)
Oneiros finds yet another great '300' reference in comic form.
Wonder when Illiad will chime in?
Funny vid of a boxing match entitled Never Kiss A Guy During A Staredown!
Personally I thought it would have been obvious....
I love the
Daily WTF Worse Than Failure, and while a WTF code example I posted a while back fell flat, I hope that this one regarding concatentation truly attracts more attention. An amazing example of doing things the long way at the least, a cruel joke if not. The commenters are great as well, especially this one... though they seem split as to if this is a true example of code found in the wild or just a cruel joke on either the posters part of the coder in question.
The Summarize your sex life with a Star Wars quote thread. Muahahahahah....
"Is it a hit?" "Negative, just impacted on the surface" -- Wally
... <continues lmao>
Another reason why we should always believe statistics... Why I Will Never Have a Girlfriend has numbers that are irrefutable as far as why you will never find a girlfriend.
A video from the John Safran series (whom I first heard about from an ex-university classmate living in Australia) is Door to Door Atheists, more of a rant against people knocking on your door first thing in the morning than your religious beliefs. Very amusing in a Borat type of way.
I particularly enjoyed the offer to read from the 1980's literature supporting their cause.
Hehehehe, check out some Star Trek IV Bloopers on youtube.
A bit of political humor this morning in the form of a bumper sticker.
Great youtube clip from Russia of a unique use of a backhoe.
Not always what you think....
There are some really weird things out there! Someone tell me where I can get "Sack II" condoms please.
I ask you this: Why is there a chasm in my room? Was it really necessary? What purpose does it serve? Nothing useful has ever come of it. In fact, sometimes when I awake in the middle of the night and stumble in the darkness while making my way to the Imperial Restroom, I mistakenly wobble along the shaft's edge. I also bump my knee on the Imperial Coffee Table, but that is another matter.
Very funny. Read now.
Coding Horror has a funny overview of Software Licenses. For example, the GPL:
The archetypal bearded, sandal-clad free software license. Your code can never be used in any proprietary program, ever! Take that, capitalism!
Ouch, retroactive and socially irrelevant burn on Illiad in todays's Real Life Comics! JD - you going to let this punk get away with that? :)
(On a side note.... ohhh! First piece of actual "UFie" news in ages!)
On a related note, here's the Uncyblopedia entry for Steve Ballmer.
A nice zoomable view of the Google Master Plan whiteboard. Some real gems in there if you want to look deep. Included are turning TCP/IP pink, attaining total information awareness, blowing up parliament, weather control, orbital mind control and something involving a legion of midgets. Or is it minions? Hilarious!
Sometimes you can know how the day is going to go from those first few items on Digg and Reddit. Today two items are brought to you from JWZ, the second two from Metro.co.uk.
Forgetfoo found a couple of great videos on Today's YouTube.
Funny read on the Battlestar Galactica Watercooler with some Reader Theories: Zarek’s a Cylon. Or Roslin’s a Cylon.. No spoilers, just interesting theories for the BSG geeks out there.
Via Digg comes Toys that should not exist. What were they thinking!
Via Darren, my morning time-sink... ay And Silent Bob Strike Back: The F*cking Short Version. This is why Kevin Smith is a f*cking genius!
Caution, video may contain just a couple (*cough*) of naughty words :)
Nifty link to a list of cool ads. Especially like the car with the pressed ham about a quarter of the way down the page. Gotta get me one of those for my car! :)
WTF has a scary story about a really bad (and dangerous, and expensive) production failure. My worst? Probably doing an SQL import with some bad characters which resulted in the update of an entire site of content being replaced with one page (ie: something like update pages set content = 'xxx' where id = x;, except that somewhere in the 'xxx' there was a ";" which caused the entire site to be updated). A database restore lost a days worth of design work from the other person working on the project. Luckily a) the site wasn't in production yet and b) the designer had all the pages he had worked on saved and on his desktop so he just needed to cut/paste his work back in.
I too sleep soundly knowing my code doesn't control pouring giant vats of molten metal :)
Funny air traffic controllers quotes (allegedly real):
From an unknown aircraft waiting in a very long takeoff queue: "I'm f...ing bored!"
Ground Traffic Control: "Last aircraft transmitting, identify yourself immediately!"
Unknown aircraft: "I said I was f...ing bored, not f...ing stupid!"
Old probably and still funny to revisit.
Just plain funny! Thanks Brian!
Someone dug up the alcohol entries in the Guinness Book of World Records:
The strongest known beer in 1979 was EKU Kulminator Urtyp Hell from Kilmbach, West Germany, at 13.2 percent alcohol (1979).
Darren sends this reminder as to why The IT Crowd is so frickin' hilarious.
And now to distract you from a far too early morning.... cute kittens.
Very funny chart of how to ask questions.
Very amusing page on One thing PC users can do that Mac users can't...
Very funny.... video of the NWA song censored in real time. Hard to describe, and very well executed.
Very amusing video of "Torn" in interpretive dance.
Silly, but still funny.
Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why...
On DanWebb.net is The No Shit Guide To Supporting OpenID In Your Applications. The title says it all. No shit :)
Everyone now.... awwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhhhhhhhhhh. Be sure to click on the pics to get higher res versions.
Cool article called Never fall in love with your code. Because it's crap.
It made me think seriously about all the code I'd written since that time. Is it all crap?
"One of our spies has given us this exclusive news about a ultra portable macbook pro and wifi enabled appletv in the second quarter 2007".
Sounds good to me!
Anyone got a weekend free? There's a small project on rentacoder that you might want to look at. Hehehehe.. I do love the requirements. I wonder how serious they are, or if they're just slightly clueless about what "new operating system" means... (or "must run all windows applications" means).
Funny post from Robert McLaws about If The British Royal Navy Ran Windows Vista (it's a visual one).
Kinda funny until you remember that not that many years ago a navy ship was rendered dead in the water from a windows crash (if I remember the story right.... can't find it right now, I remember it was on slashdot maybe two or three years ago?).
Another link from Darren is Things I Desperately Wish Women Would Say to Me on First Dates.
"Tell me again about the hidden minus world in Super Mario Bros."
Fantastic links from Boing Boing.... Pulp Fiction as typography. Points to two videos. Basically the "What does Marcellus Wallace look like?" scene from Pulp Fiction animated as just text. Very hard to describe and very cool to view.
Dang it, another funny comic to start reading. Don't these people know I have to work during the day! Especially since it was my boss who sent it to me!
This strip also gives some good relationship advice. :)
A neat story from reddit on going fast in Japan.
“Right. Skylines are built for speed. That’s why I love them. Actually… why don’t I show you a bit of speed now? Is that ok?”
Ever gone over 200km/h? This guy has...... by a long shot.
Personally my limit in a car was a wimpy 160km/h by comparison, and that was at night on a deserted stretch of highway, completely paranoid the entire time that an animal was going to jump in front of me, or I'd pass a speed trap and get that "special" attention from the police officer that you get when you get caught doing something exceptionally stupid :)
I completely missed the Oscars last night, and the early showing of "Heroes" for that matter, which sucks, because Al Gore’s big announcement looks absolutely hilarious (a bit long, hang in there till the end though).
A great collection of SNL ads, very fun... back from the days when SNL was good too :)
A great post entitled chalain: So Beautiful, So Disturbing looking at Vista as something slightly different than an OS. Very funny and close to life :)
She looks into cupboard seven. "You are using Gateway Widescreen LCD monitor and Norwood Micro LCD. I have set best resolutions for them. Would you like breakfast?"
Hilarious parody of "Heroes".... Zeroes. Ordinary People, with relatively ordinary abilities.....
Another great worth1000.... this time the subject is penguins!
Darren shot me a link to a video from Jimmy Kimmel where Jimmy Kimmel Tim Hardaway and George Takei answer to Tim Hardaway (Tim being the basketball player who said he hates gay people and George Takae being a gay person). Very funny. Funnier more if you have heard George in his stint on the Howard Stern show as the announcer.
Oh man, I don't know what I'd answer if asked this question. Maybe it's a trick question? Dang funny though :)
Another great photoshop contest at Worth1000.com, this time on demotivational posters.
Man I love the comic xkcd.... especially this one on open source.
Someone please get me this T-Shirt!
Osama Team Hunger Force video at college humor.com. Freakin hilarious, poking fun at the whole fiasco a couple of weeks ago.
A great, though no doubt bored, video editor created a video of Gollum and Smeagol singing to Barry White. Great stuff.
The title of this video is Microsoft Vista Speech Recognition Gone Bad, but really, it's more of an hilarious lesson on where speech recognition and the real world don't mix. No slight to Vista here, but I'd say that no one should do programming (much less perl) using speech recognition. Truely a display in the supreme patience of the programmer doing it.
Oh man this is hilarious.... Samuel L. Jackson coaching junior hockey as the character from his Pulp Fiction portrayal of Jules Winnfield. Where it came from I have no idea, but holy crap it's funny.
Funny stuff from forgetfoo on how to screw with the minds of your fellow airline passengers. Coursee, doing this will no doubt get you ejected at 30,000 feet...
Found on reddit, here's some Embarrassing Medical Exams:
2. At the beginning of my shift I placed a stethoscope on an elderly and slightly deaf female patient's anterior chest wall. "Big breaths," I instructed. "Yes, they used to be," replied the patient.
Another in the 'I'm in ur xxx, yyying your zzz" series is Dunecat!
UFie-Superb Kethryvis posted a link to some hot Hot Library Smut for those so inclined with a fetish for old books and majestic libraries... perverts! This is totally different than other hardware porn I've posted :)
Gizmodo has an archive of the Super Bowl ads.
The Celler's image of the day for a few days ago is of a moose who came home to stay. Very cute, not sure if my cats would get along with one though.
Even non-Java folks will get a laugh or groan from String Optimizations in Java on the Daily WTF. Java folks (which I'm pretty sure that two of my four readers are) will get even more of a laugh or groan.
The most hilarious comic PvP is now an animated series. Whoop!
Via the buddy Darren..... Mad TV Steve Jobs iPhone spoof. Hilarious!
A most amusing post from Jim Allchin on the Windows Vista Team Blog on what his life will be like on a typical day :)
7:45 AM: Went to check email. Only two pieces. 7:46 AM: Checked network connection to see why I am not getting any email. Everything working perfectly. [...]
By the way, congrats to Microsoft for Shipping Vista!
OMG! Why has no one told me about /dev/bollocks, the A middle-manager emulator for the Linux Kernel. It even has a perl module to help manipulate it. Basically it creates a file in /dev that will spew out random bullshit on demand! Too bad it's kernel 2.4 only :(
Star Wars geeks will appreciate Joey deVilla's "The Empire Strikes Back" Redux, an expansion of the "I am your father" scene in SW:ESB based on the new information we learned in Episodes 1 2 and 3.
Great work on the authors part (and George Lucas of course).
Another post via reddit.com.... some Fun Facts About The End of the World, based on the points of view of different religions, from Christianity to Branch Davidianism.
Via Reddit has an image called the truth about myspace, which looks at the types of pictures you see on myspace (of people) and what they really mean.
List of Planned features for Firefox 3. From the article:
# Files could be handled by web services. If I am reading this correctly, this could mean you would be able to click on an attached document and open it with something like Writely or Google Documents. And perhaps, as I asked Santa, the ability to redirect mailto: links to web email services.
# A much needed print support to prevent cut paragraphs and true WYSIWYG.
# The much requested MSI installer which will be a much welcomed improvement for IT administrators as it will ease deployment and updating of Firefox across a company.
# In the security front: support for Microsoft CardSpace and OpenID
Not to be outdone by Apple's iPhone announcement, Microsoft has struck back with the ZunePhone! Sweet dude!
(Yes, it's a joke)
In preparation for 9pm PST tomorrow here's this years Keynote Bingo!
Very cool.... roomba + Wii + perl = RoombaWii - The Wii-mote controlled Roomba. Nice to see that an offshoot of the Wii system is that it appears to be quite hackable.
A "ha ha true" article on how the HD disk format wars are over and piracy is the clear winner. Can't say that I disagree myself, the "benefits" given by increasing numbers of these new technologies really seems to be just masquerading erosion or usage rights, if you can see through the (sometimes very) thin veneer that's sloshed over it.
In the mean time, Piracy, the better choice (tm) flourishes. If you take 10 minutes to look around, you will see that every HD movie is now available on P2P networks. I haven't bothered to get one, so I can't comment on the quality, but it sure looks like availability is there. What was an underground clique in the 1980s and 1990s has become mainstream and so vastly much easier to do that it is laughable. Before the technology hits 1% market penetration it is comprehensively cracked and better for the consumer than the legit versions.
Anyway, even if you don't agree and think that any piracy makes you an evildoer going to hell, it's still an interesting look at things from The Inquirer.
(3) With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine. However, this is not necessarily a good idea. It is hard to be sure where they are going to land, and it could be dangerous sitting under them as they fly overhead.
Something for the guys at work I think.
Todays batches of links are via Digg.com and Reddit.com btw, my saturday morning troll through while avoiding doing work in the basement with the other 6 people who are currently working in that crammed little space :)
Not sure if these are really the 100 Funniest Jokes of All Time, there are some good ones in there.
#42 - I was thrown out of NYU. On my metaphysics final, they caught me cheating. I looked within the soul of the boy sitting next to me. (Woody Allen)
Here's a very funny powerpoint of bad home inspection pictures. Duct tape used to repair structural timber, that sort of thing.
Funny video / song called ballad of the noob. Amusing no doubt for the WoW folks out there.
Anyone remember Full House? If so, you probably thought that Bob Saget was kinda a lame wanker.... (sorry Bob, but it's true)... the Americas Funniest Home Videos didn't bolster his image. After hearing an interview with Saget on the Stern show revealed this guy is not only a hilarious comic, but nice and dirty as well. Therefor I present to you a find from Digg in the form of a song performed by previously mentioned comic called Danny Taner is Not Gay.
Very amusing scan of v2's Verizon Exit Interview.
Someone's gotten a list of 59 amazing sketches of the Monty Python on YouTube.
*grumble* no idea why they had to make it a pdf when a jpg would have done fine though... *grumble*
Neat Smirnoff campaign ads, some NSFW lower down on the page (right after the garden gnomes). Pretty funny stuff.
A new favorite cartoon of mine is What The Duck, humor for photographers. Today is The 100th What the Duck Comic Strip and the author, Aaron Johnson is having a bit of a celebration, with links, guest cartoonists (love the Australian one), and Q&A. Check out the link for more info.
Web ferret extroirdinaire Darren pointed me to a link of Content Management Systems I Would Or Wouldn’t Fuck. Title pretty much says it all.... my CMS Of choice is sadly in the "wouldn't" category:
Looks like it used to be a lot of fun when it was younger; now it just sort of lays there and doesn’t do much. Takes forever to refresh. Spends most of its time changing in and out of different outfits.
Cute Firefox ad on YouTube with some good animation.
Another great article from the Onion, this time on PlayStation 3 vs. Nintendo Wii.
Great video of a guy who is a nintendo superfan. "Hopped up on demeral and haven't slept in 5 days".
Thanks for the pointer Darren.
Sex Advice from a Dungeons and Dragons Player at Dethroner. Pretty much all that's needing to be said I think. Grabbed from reddit again.
Title says it all: Quotes about Computer Languages. Found via reddit.
More pictures of cats with cute captions. Some old, some new, all cute.
No, not that sort of virgin. Contrary to reports, not all Star Wars fans are virgins, or so my friends tell me. Someone who hasn't watched any Star Wars movie ever watches all in narrative order and reports. Must amusing.
I would have to watch 14 straight hours of Star Wars all night Friday into early Saturday. With my social calendar predictably empty, I decided now would be the time to give up what so many people already have over the last 30 years.
With an extra large coffee in hand, I settled in for Episode I: The Phantom Menace. For someone who has never seen a Star Wars movie, it would be easy to criticize them — and Episode I makes it especially easy.
That's basically the idea behind Masturbate for Peace.com. Great bumper sticker slogans too. Kinda NSFW, but not really.
What if you had some designers go at world flags? You'd get something like World Flags Remade.
Some of Best of Craigslist is great, some is just awesome. Take for example Dear cat: Don't disturb blinds when I'm watching porn. Simply brilliant.
I've filed this under "funny", but really, I wish I could have given some of these rules to people I've known in the past. The Guidelines for Platonic Friendship has a lot of decent points that can save a lot of confusion for poor guys (and potentially girls as well). IE:
2. No sleepovers. I think of all women who sleep in bed with me as potential sex partners. I spend all my free time trying to coax women in, so if you get in there, I can’t help but think you want some. If you or I need a place to crash sometime, then we should employ a couch. The breaking of this rule is punishable by instant sex.
Hit the site for 15 more gems.
(Note: IE only video :( ). Found on Perez Hilton.com a funny video of people being interviewed outside of K-Fed (Britney Spears' Ex for anyone not tapped into the Hollywood buzz like I am) concert. Not sure if this was the concert that they only sold 300 of the 1500 seats and then delayed starting for 3 hours or not, but they do mention that they were giving away tickets. This deflated my "why are you complaining about how he's the worst performer ever when you went to his concert!?!" argument.
I love celebrity break / melt downs :)
Update: this goes well with the interview with KFed showing him talking about how great their relationship is, then getting an SMS telling him about the divorce.
My buddy Jay from $work-- pointed me to the latest Vista EULA which is quite amusing (and a joke (I hope)):
Windows DRM: You may not use this system to remove DRM protection from Microsoft-provided media. "Removing DRM" is defined as stripping out protection, reverse-engineering code, using third-party circumvention software, installing non-DRM versions of DRM media, refusing to purchase our media in the first place, or reading Boing Boing.
Video from robot chicken on what really happened with Calvin and Hobbes. Very amusing.
"What happens if a big asteroid hits Earth? Judging from realistic simulations involving a sledge hammer and a common laboratory frog, we can assume it will be pretty bad. "
This t-shirt says a lot about the big US vote today (note: BSG reference, nothing political).
The core element of "Peace Through Pork" is the offering of delicious, fried, cured, pig flesh to passers by. This is done in front of a banner proclaiming the event in english, arabic and hebrew. The desired result of this situation is to provoke individuals to approach a representative and inquire about either the theory of "Peace Through Pork" or express an interest in eating some bacon.
This is similar to the idea that Howard Stern had about sending drugs, pornography, alcohol and strippers to the radical states as it seems like a lot less of a good idea to blow up the western world while you're mellowing out on some bud, a beer or three, and have "Angie" shaking her bootie in front of your face :)
Hit the original boingboing story.
Another from the "oldie but goodie" file come some New Breakthroughs in Mathematics.
Do not watch this insane act of depravity. No, really, don't click the link!
Now, now this is pretty insane. Check out these pictures of Moscow Traffic. Glad I only have to deal with 3 lanes of traffic each way.....
Video clearly illustrating what happens when you go on autopilot while driving near automatic roadblocks. Heheheh.
Sent over again by my main security dude Dana is the website of Mike O'Connell. Hit the Theater link and then watch the videos, first one has an hilarious and completely not safe for work music video. They have a very similar feel to the comedy as 3 Dead Trolls in a Baggie.
Hilarious page with Six Word Stories about Programming Languages.... well, funny for programmers anyway :)
Great video of 2 Kung-Fu guys going after a Yoga guy. Entitled simply: KungFu vs. Yoga.
Oh noes! Someone has done something really wrong with Brokeback Galactica. Guess it's a Battlestar Galactica sorta day.....
So what Rules do men have to live by? Here are 28 Man Laws:
It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances: (a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master. (b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse. (c) After wrecking your boss's car. (d) One hour, 12 minutes, 37 seconds into "The Crying Game".(e) When she is using her teeth.
The problem with America is stupidity. I'm not saying there should be a capital punishment for stupidity, but why don't we just take the safety labels off of everything and let the problem solve itself?
Hit the site for more.
Ah, it is bash.org, or at least, their database. From the frontpage:
First off, Bash.org sucks... but not their content. They're privately moderated, and not OpenSource, that's not cool. Kwotes is the complete opposite, and excels in more ways than one over Bash.org. It's free and OpenSource, publicly moderated, and 100 times more functional. This site uses Kwotes for those reasons. This database is basically the Bash.org database. Every quote on it (virtually) was taken from the bash.org website.
Super cool.... a Battlestar Galactica music video. Hard to describe, just go watch.
They made the machines. That's what I'm trying to tell you. Meat made the machines.
Darren pointed me to this very funny (I'm told) reading by John Hodgman at Codys San Francisco. This is the PC guy from the Apple ads and includes musical accompaniment. From the first 2 minutes it's definitely a must see :)
A list of the Top 46 Things To Do When Your ISP Is Down.
Darren threw me a collection of cat pics with titles.... that about says it all. Most funny and most cute.
I love Chick tracts...
Without comment I present this image thanks to my buddy Brian.
No idea what "Motion Wave" is, but they have a really cool popup ad. You'll have to allow it with your pop up blocker, and make sure you have your browser set to allow window resizing (the pop up with change size). Very cool and interesting use. Course, if it just popped up on me without being directed to it through internet buzz, it'd be closed right quick :) Also has sound.
Not to be outdone by sponsored research from Microsoft coming to the conclusion that Microsoft is better/faster/more productive and uses less calories, Apple has recommended that 30" monitors increase worker productivity compared to 17" or 19" monitors. Todd Weiss writes about it here.
You don't think that it's a coincidence that Apple has some 30" displays? No, couldn't be.
As an aside I checked out an Apple 30" display in the local Apple store last weekend. Gads the thing was massive, I felt like I'd have to sit on the other side of the room to not have to move my head looking at it. Still a bit pricey for my pocketbook (unless of course you use Scoble Finances, which involves just putting big expensive things on your credit card... :)
Most of the time, man overrides nature. Every once and a while, nature gets it's own.
A collection of really stupid Superman comic book covers.
Title should say it all.... The Web 2.0 Drinking Game.
Take a drink for every 10 photos you have uploaded.
Take a drink for every embarrassing photo of yourself you wish you could remove from your friends' pages.
This joke was passed on to me from my buddy Rob F. Probably an old one, still funny though. Hit the read more link to see it....
Letter To A Dad
A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad."
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands.
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but I knew you
would not approve of her, because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much older than I am. But it's not only the passion.
Dad she's pregnant. Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone.
We'll be growing it for ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!! Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your grandchildren.
Love, your son,
P.S. Dad, None of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the report card that's in my center desk drawer. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to come home."
Links to videos of someone's list of the Top 10 Weird Al Videos.
Holy ass-whoopin' batman! Great video of a guy whoopin' two guys asses after one of them smacks his girlfriend. Wowza. Reason #1,854 to not randomly hit women with their boyfriends..... :)
This is funny and scary.... actually, hugely depressing. Don't read about how Sadly, You've Grown Up.
Friggin' hilarious, Dana pointed me to Wierd Al's latest song - White And Nerdy (video on youtube).
A fantastically funny animation entitled In the rough.
Yay! The photographer-targeted online comic strip What The Duck now has it's own site at WhattheDuck.net. Whohooo!
Top Gear does the mini ski jump. Pretty funny, I may have to start watching that show more.
Funny as hell talk on Masturbation Etiquette. You need to sign in to watch as it's not for underage eyes and ears (nothing nasty visually... just a lot of innuendo though :)
I'm constantly amazed at people who believe insanely crazy explanations when they don't understand something. I admit that when I first saw this "ESP" page ages ago, I was amazed as well. However, I wasn't spouting off about parallell universes or alien devices or the untamed power of the mind....
An amusing view/rant in the DPReview forums on the different classes of EOS DSLR users.
30D users -
The correct attitude for owners of the 20D is one of reserved sympathy.
Probably more amuinsg for anyone whose wandered through the newbie filled forums on dpreview for any amount of time.
As a pentax user I have to look down my nose at everyone else of course....
The War on Terror (tm)(c)(r) as seen from the BASH shell. Bwahahahaahaha!
Some great entries from the Pluto Worth1000 photoshop contest.
Funny video on learning from history via the Trojan Horse. Amusing watch.
Title pretty much says it all.
Saw this over from Digg.... the iTank... a cast aluminum case for your iPod. Not exactly elegant, but for people like my brother in law, who works on an excavator and is always having phones/mp3 players/etc broken due to the fact he's working on, well, an excavator, this is perfect.
Greg posted an amusing little ditty entitled Our customers are dumb, part 9000000000.... it brought much amusement to my department :)
Amusing story about neighbors, and ones solution to bitching about view obstruction.
Yes, it's a slow news day :)
Another phenomenon I was completely unaware of until just now.... Angry german kid. See also the Angry German Kid vs. Numa Numa Kid mashup. Fred, or anyone who knows german, any translation as to what the guy is ranting about?
Passed on at work.... extra cardboard needed for this one.
Again probably the last to see this.... What The Duck, online comic strip about a photographer.
Some great Star Trek Inspirational Posters that I'll be printing up for the office when I get home :)
Kirk, Spock, McCoy, and Ensign Ricky are beaming down to the planet. Guess who's not coming back.
First of all, I'm not a starcraft player... I post this video of the "Perfect SCV Rush" for 3 simple reasons.
I'm wondering how/why the video was put online, but hey, it's funny. Not Safe For Work by any means (teenage boobies), but still damn funny. Also a really good reason not to wear headphones while doing a striptease :)
I gotta love the love that people feel for their fellow man, regardles of their race (well, maybe not race) creed (uhm.... ) sexual orientation (maybe not..) or religion. Here's some amusing hatemail that the Flying Spaghetti Monster has recieved.
hey,u know what none cares Wat u think about God's sense of humor,u know what u may not be christian but,there's lot of people out there trying 2 seek God n they don't need any info, about God by u so,i think it will b better if u stop n start acting more like a christian even if u r not .
Nothing says amusing more than a 1965 Anti-Pornography Propaganda film. Some great quotes....
I'm sure everyone's seen these already on youtube or whatever, but here's a link to the page for the mac spoof commercials..... here's the networking (porn!) one.
The Fake Leopard Screenshot Contest Winners are up. Some of the ideas winner) have some great ideas... now to see if the real thing lives up to the fake expectations :)
Hehehehe... all you RPG geeks will appreciate this pic of a kid whose Dad is a Hard-Core Gamer!
Hehehe, someone made a great Funny Professional iPod Spoof. Introducing the iPod "Flea"! Whoho! Is this what WWDC holds for us?
Great list of 75 Things We Love and Hate about Star Wars, via digg. Notice how all the 'great dialog' lines seem to come from the first three movies, and the 'horrible [dialog|ideas]' comes from the last (first) three? Hmm...
Thanks Darren for the post :)
Update: People smell bullshit.
Random list of 25 Cinematic Cliches I Never Wanna See Again. Not hugely great, good for a Tuesday morning diversion though.
8. All computer keyboards or control panels have thousands of volts just underneath their surface, and their malfunctions are indicated by a puff of smoke and a cartoonish shower of sparks.
The ever popular Lewis Black from The Daily Show has another great (illegal, copyrighted, RIAA fodder) clip on YouTube where he rails on Harry Potter Camp.
After a lunchtime troll through digg's top videos I found this great clip from the daily show rightfully belongs on top. Watch to the end where Colbert just loses it in an inuendo filled report on the british royal family :)
Based on this video I'm convinced that all english language education in Japan is done by three girls in oversized bikinis repeating the words over and over again while making odd arm motions. (via digg).
Anything entitled Dear Crazy-As-Bat-Shit-Lady: The fridge doesn't come with a pedigree! just has to be funny :)
2. What part of 'buyer must pick up' in the ad was confusing to you? Yes, I have a vehicle. No, I don't want to haul your fridge all the way to East BumbleFuck on the hottest day of the year. No, I'm really really sure I don't want to do that. No, really. I'm sure.
Are people really this stupid?
Well, yea, I guess they are...
From the tales of the wierd comes a Maury show clip about a girl with a pickle phobia. Now that's messed up. I just wish Maury would tell these people <godfather voice>BE A MAN!</godfather voice> Seriously, these people have some fubar issues and are put on display for the ridicule of the TV audience.
A very funny video of how MS has been innovating lately. Punish your Microsoft developer is apparently from an MS event, but as it's the first time I've seen it I figured I'd share.
Very funny video of Harvard Class Day Speech 2006. Via Digg.
A mildly amusing list of annoying interview questions and answers.
"Tell me 3 of your weaknesses." "I work too hard. I never ask for a big enough raise. I tend to lie when I'm asked stupid questions."
-- Bit Brain
Probably hugely illegal, but there is a site with all calvin and hobbes comic strips. Gotta love that tiger :)
Ever wondered what it'd be like to reprogram those street signs beside the road? Well, this guy did. Amusing :)
I have no idea what the show with zefrank is, but it's pretty funny.
Homemade Animal Costume images. Almost guarenteed to be the most bizarre thing you see today.
Darren pointed me to a page called White Men Cant Rap where...
I think we've found that man. Step aside Jay Z, move on Eminem we are proud to present the real prophet of rhymes.
About half the video is the guy explaining things, after that it's sheet white rapper glory!
As my buddy Boone says, it's not often you see someone upgrade their car by putting a motorbike in. Sadly not the best res for the video, still neat to watch though.
... if you do, check out the Reg story on Yahaya Wahab, who got a �126 trillion phone bill. I'm pretty sure there is a decimal place carried somewhere.
Argument #18 for natural selection....
... As far as mascots go we are partial to an intestine-trailing Tauntaun named "Gutsy" or a one-armed Wampa dubbed "Lefty".
They have my vote!
Note that the voice is Bill Gates' keynote :)
Update Mirrored here.
On an unrelated note, could someone please let me know which USB port doojigger gives me the least varience for my joystick on my dream box? :) Just because my fully configured system tops $10k CND doesn't mean anything does it?
If only it were that easy...
A musical reinforcement when child first sits and a royal fanfare with each success!Anyone else see their kids being conditioned that if musical fanfare doesn't play after each "success" that they didn't do it properly? Will they provide a seat for adults to reverse this conditioning?
I'm speechless. Honestly.
(Note: read all the way through before NOT attempting anything listed in there :)
6. Wow. Leave your balls alone. Seriously, holy cow. Those are your balls. You guys are sitting, maybe, three feet apart. Jesus, man. There is not a dating guidebook in the world that would even conceive of writing a chapter called "Don't Play With Your Balls (on the First Date)" because any mammal with the gift of literacy would not even consider this a "Do I or Don't I?" kind of question. Wow. There you go again.Good funny to wake up to on a tuesday after being awake till 2am!
On a related note (as in, also a funny blog entry) a review of the fashion highs and lows of religious extremists is a good read. Critisism of the fashion sense of the god hates [fags|shri-lanka|pope|america|everyone-but-us] people.
Update: Illegal mirror of Iconwars from my cache.
"what do you need buddy?"
Not that I like to laugh at the misfortune of others, but that's damn funny :)
Course, nothing beats Troops....
We hope to build a Hobbit Hole. Yes, we mean a subterranean dwelling as described above. No, it will not be in Middle Earth, and no, we are not (completely) insane. We are actually quite serious about doing this.Hey, who wouldn't want a real life hobbit hole?
I stepped closer to the job, firmly planting my feet under the car for leverage and continued to turn. When the bolt finally gave way it stopped doing what it was supposed to do, which was to HOLD THE ENGINE IN THE CAR. The back of the engine fell on to the driveway and on my FIRMLY PLANTED FEET.
Via Going Canuck.
Spotlight's biggest claims to fame, presumably, are its near-instant search results and support for document meta data, both of which are, again, planned features of Longhorn. But no matter. While Apple has been busy copping Windows features since Jobs returned to Apple in late 1996, the company's tiny market share ensures that very few people will benefit from Spotlight, despite Apple claims that it will deliver on desktop search a year before Microsoft ships Longhorn.Anyone tried this? Will it use Firefox if it's the default browser? Will it search firefox browser cache? How does it deal with the security implications that google's desktop search had to deal with? None of these questions, funnily enough, are answered in the review.
Then, in October 2004, Google released a buggy Google Desktop Search beta just two months after the company heard about Microsoft's plans to release a beta MSN desktop search tool by the end of 2004. [...] The most notable feature of Google Desktop Search, so far, has been its widely-publicized security bugs.
Maybe you're using the new MSN Search beta to find out information about your favorite musical group. If you search for that band's name, the first link on MSN Search will direct you to MSN Music, from which you can find out more information, or even buy music, which is kind of amazing.
Update: After a few minutes and a download I found the answers. Sort of (sometimes it opens an IE window, sometimes it's firefox), sort of (by default it only searches email and the My Documents folders, but you can tell it to search all folders or specific locations, not sure if it'll recognize the browser cache for what it is), and kinda (see previous answer, I think that it will have the same problems with security as the google solution if you choose to search all files and folders).
Additionally I notice it's IE toolbar looks a lot like the google toolbar for IE, and the popup blocker has a wack of msn type sites allowed by default, and it also has the ability to automatically fill in form information, including credit card info. Oh, and if this is a beta why is the version number in the 'add remove programs' set as 2.0?
But go on, drink the kool-aid and know it's the best thing since sliced bread.
Etan also posts some of his thoughts on the newly released iTunes 4.7.
I love the internet!
"Always code as if the guy who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live."Truer words were never spoken...
-- M. Golding
Q: I've heard that cardio vascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that's it...don't waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your Heart will not make you live longer; that's like saying you can extend the Life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer?
Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system.
Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable products.
Q: Should I reduce my alcohol intake?
A: No, not at all. Wine is made from fruit. Brandy is distilled wine, that means they take the water out of the fruity bit so you get even more of the goodness that way. Beer is also made out of grain.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular Exercise program?
A: Can't think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain...Good
Q: Aren't fried foods bad for you?
A: YOU'RE NOT LISTENING!!!. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil.
In fact, they're permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q: Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? HELLO ...... Cocoa beans ... another vegetable!!! It's the best feel-good food around!
Q: Is swimming good for your figure?
A: If swimming is good for your figure, explain whales to me.
Q: Is getting in shape important for my lifestyle?
A: Hey! 'Round' is a shape!
Well, I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets and remember, "Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways - Chardonnay in one hand - strawberries in the other - body thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and screaming - WOO HOO! What a Ride!"
DarrenBarefoot points tor papernapkin.net, a rejection service. Short story is when someone asks you for your email address, you give them <anyname>@papernapkin.net, and when they email they get this to the point reply.
I love crazy people :) Of course, if the aliens are coming, I retract this entry.
Code. Code belong on hard drive. Code tell a C.P.U. to do stuff. You get code, you save code, you tell box to run code! O.S. do what code say, so if you get owned, is your fault cuz you tell O.S. to run code! This just fine!
Read the rest...
The Moralist (aka The Anti-Microsoft Bigot)Hey! He's talking about me!
Unlike The Guru, The Moralist doesn't necessarily need to have any (supposedly) advanced technical skills. (which actually makes them more dangerous.) These fuckers acquire their zealotry through good ol' fashion fundamentalist ignorance. most of it is such spew infested bullshit, it's amazing that anything these people say is being listened to on any level.
King George Bush's bus trip across western Wisconsin closed schools and roads, prevented residents from moving freely in their own communities, and prevented citizens from exercising their free speech rights.Makes you think, eh? Or at least, I hope it does.
As a friend of mine mentioned it is possible to get 0 errors back from ad-aware by using your computer smartly (not running IE, watching cookies, changing your security zone, not running as admin), but in my opinioin this isn't the way that most "normal" people work. They turn on the computer and use what is available, click on pop ups, click executables that come in email, and are blissfully are hosts to adware, spyware, worms and viruses. The number of worms and crap that float around support this theory :)
Microsoft, ladies and gentlemen, is a cheap whore. She lives on the fringes of the law, but there�s no getting rid of her because she fulfils a certain need in our society. People want what she is selling.Great post :)
I have bought more software for my Mac than I ever did for my Windows PCs, most of it shareware. Is it really that much higher quality? Or am I buying her presents?
I need to make it absolutely clear that for legal reasons, neither Joe Peacock nor Mentally Incontinent can recommend that anyone ever reenact the following descriptions of my actions If anyone chooses to take it upon themselves to reenact the following plan, we cannot be held liable for the outcome. (We do, however, heartily endorse them if you do them. We won�t accept responsibility for your actions, but we WILL send you some awesome greeting cards and pat you on the back once you are released from jail.)
No complaints. The rubber Neo dummy the good guys use to distract the gang of Agent Smiths in Reloaded is rendered in meticulous detail.:)
2 minute penalty for racial slur.
REASON NOT CHANGED:
To many penalties would delay the game.
Ah, gotta love it. Read a few of the letters and you'll see everything from an analysis of the nipple decoration and why it's not something that's worn every day to likening the viewing of a nipple to the end of days. One letter linked above notes that "just a few years ago the word homosexual was an outrage (it was?), and now half the country wants to sanction gay marriage", then matches this up with a nipple today, everyone walking around naked tomorrow. Isn't this the "slippery slope" argument that the fundamentalists are always talking about? Or is that the lefties? Or both? It's a pretty flawed argument anyway. I think that this guy should really take a look at what else is on TV before getting up in an outrage over something he probably only heard about after the fact (my guess). Luckily there are voices of reason in there too: "send [me] the money/resources & I will give it to some poor children who won't be able to eat tonight."
Erhm... so yea, read the funny letters. Thanks Fark.
About the same here, can't get past level 30...
Remember the Warthog vid called "Warthog Jump: A Halo Physics Experiment" where they were showing a bug in the physics in the game Halo? Throw some nades under the vehicle and watch it launch. Was a well done video at the time (in case you haven't seen it)
Well, now there is a flash version you can play yourself. It just sucked me in for a good 30 minutes. Unfortunately... I can't get past level 30.
30 levels in 30 minutes. How about you?
Page two is interesting as well, a music video (of sorts) in a foreign language (spanish perhaps?), but it's catchy.
Security is one of those workloads where Linux is getting traction, partly because we don't have a firewall appliance offering today. We have technologies, but we don't have a lockdown, hardened firewall that we can put in.I think I speak for myself when I say that the reason Linux is getting traction in security technologies is that it's proven itself to be stable and secure, whereas Microsoft's track record for security and stability are horrible. That is why I think that Linux is making tracks in the security space.
There's a story about the military pilot calling for a priority landing because his single-engine jet fighter was running "a bit peaked." Air Traffic Control told the fighter jock that he was number two, behind a B-52 that had one engine shut down."Ah," the fighter pilot remarked, "The dreaded seven-engine approach."Thanks Dave for the list!
Anyway, for the above link I have to say that #8 is my favorite:
8. Gay marriage will encourage people to be gay, in the same way that hanging around tall people will make you tall.
I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it since the beginning of my married life, when my Mom told me it was the best. Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!
In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck. One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my white blouse. I tried to get the stains out using a bargain detergent, but they just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!
In fact, the stains came out so well, that some detectives who came by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!
I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...
A relieved menopausal wife
Somebody just might listen to this:
I hate you.
I hate you because you use Outlook Express.
I hate you because you open "those virus attachments" and make the internet suck just a little bit more for the rest of us.
I hate you because you think you're protected because of that "Norton thingie" in the system tray, even though it cannot catch new viruses.
I hate you for not using a firewall.
I hate you for using Internet Explorer and getting infected with spyware.
I hate you because right now your computer is being used to flood the internet with spam, because that virus gave control of your computer to a spammer.
I hate you because you don't care.
I hate you because you pirated that software that secretly contained a trojan.
I hate you because you don't password your computer. (NEWS FLASH: if you don't use a password, half of the hacker's work is already done.)
I hate you because you don't realize that as soon as somebody breaks in to your computer, you no longer own it.
I hate you because you farking purchased a Windows computer and didn't farking bother to secure it.
I hate you because anybody with sufficient time, money, and workers could take over your computers and cripple networks with flooding.
I hate you.
This has been brought to you by the "If you're not going to play any games buy an Apple because it's actually secure by default; and if you already own Windows turn your effing firewall on and get a Mozilla or Opera product instead of using Internet Explorer and Outlook Express (although you can use IE occaisionally if the site doesn't work) and then you should get Spybot Search & Destroy, install it, update it, and remove the spyware on your computer" coalition.
War Is PeaceThere are also some great posters and other tidbits. Take it as a parody or a political view, or an unpatriotic view that should be reported to the ministry of justice immediately, whatever turns your crank.
Oceania (commonly called the US and Britain) is at war with AfghanistanIraq. Oceania has always been at war with AfghanistanIraq.
Freedom Is Slavery
The Anti-Terrorism Act ensures US citizens' freedom by ensuring the FBI's ability to examine their activities.
I have to agree a bit. I had my own 'blog' 8 years ago when it was just something for me to write my stuff in and my only readers were my parents and the only reason they read was to see if I was going to be around on the weekend to come by for dinner. Nowadays it's the latest fad, everyone has one, people are pushing them as some sort of innovative way to do office communications, social networking blah blah blah blah.
I have no doubt that blogs will continue on in some form or another just as diarys and ships logs have for years and years now, but I do think that the current trackback, moblog, blogroll craziness will die out in a while when people realize that (as the article says) "All your blogs talk about the same crap".
Outside the Inbox is a compilation of songs inspired by and titled after the subject lines of mass-email (spam).I've only listened to one song so far, but I look forward to listening to the rest!
I can assure you that the thread of fark has a laugh or three in it. Some of my favorites:
Click once to get the elves running. Click again (when you think you should) to start pulling down the catapult. Release the mouse when you want to fling santa.
An eagle was sitting on a tree resting, doing nothing. A small rabbit saw the eagle &asked him, "Can I also sit like you &do nothing?" The eagle answered: "Sure, why not." So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the eagle, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.
"To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up."
Read on for more....
A turkey was chatting with a bull. "I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree," sighed the turkey, "but I haven't got the energy." "Well, why don't you nibble on some of my droppings?" replied the bull. "They're packed with nutrients." The turkey pecked at a lump of dung, found it actually gave him enough strength to reach the lowest branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fourth night, he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. He was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.
"BullShit might get you to the top, but it won't keep you there."
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out! He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard the bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him.
1) Not everyone who shits on you is your enemy.
2) Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3) And when you're in deep shit, it's best to keep your mouth shut!
Just because NBC's new reality show isn't a Law and Order spin off doesn't mean it's "radically different." In fact, it's a spin off of some of the worst TV I've avoided this decade. Though I'm sure the fact that the show features you has nothing to do with your opinion.
Please stop creating reality shows. They are over done. You have had reality shows, reality shows that were parodies of reality shows, fake reality shows, fake reality shows the second season, fake reality shows that are aired twice in a row with the schmoe's commentary in a transparent attempt to bleed it for all it's got, rip offs of reality shows, and reality shows that require subtitles and still suck.
Please stop. We the people of north america can't take anymore. Saying that "the market is driving this" doesn't cut it when you give the market nothing to watch but shitty reality shows. Complaining about how people are pirating other TV shows that don't suck via p2p networks shows you have no clue.
Please stop and let reality television go down as a footnote on the stupidity of mankind at the start of the decade in some future history book. Please.
I'm shaking my head, I still can't get it. There are similar things in the open source world, but they seem to be far more tounge in cheek. To each their own though I guess...
18. You realize that you will never have as many dogs or cats in your life that you want.
More stuff here.
Working with a bunch of mac-heads just drives this one home for me :) Well, that and waiting in eager anticipation of the new 15" powerbook which is coming any day now, yup, it's ordered, requests have gone through... honest, it's coming.... really soon now....
Hmm.... first of all, he's incorrect on a couple of counts. iTunes will play mp3 and AAC files from anywhere that happens to distribute them in that form. Right now there aren't any (?) music stores using AAC except for the iTunes music store, but there are some dealing with MP3. iTunes doesn't play WMA, Microsoft's propriatory music format, it plays AAC, Apple's propriatory music format. Big shock.
Big shock, Microsoft is advocating a music format that only plays in their propriatory music player (WMP9) (or devices that have licensed the technology from them) and not Apple and their propriatory music player (iTunes).
Personally I wish that iTunes would support other music formats, .ogg specifically, but if they want to throw WMA in there as well, so be it. Heck, anything that'd put .ogg support onto the iPod would make me happy.
That said, personally I look forward to competition. Competition is good. Right now the iTunes music store is the only "real" music store out there (no, eMusic and mp3.com aren't real because I can't find Johnny Cash or U2 on them). If a bunch more services start up along with the bad of getting DRM more firmly embedded (I don't like the idea of DRM personally), we'll get cheaper prices, more interesting features, and companies trying to give more reasons for using their service.
Maybe this would help force the music industry to change the way they do things, and stop (or at least slow down) screwing the artists.
I wonder how long before Microsoft goes into the online music store business. MS and the RIAA, working together. Sounds like hell to me. If it took Apple to get the record industry to see what would happen with selling online music, I wonder what MS could do?
I was what many people would consider a magical prodigy. I was summoning demons to visible apparition before I was out of elementary school. It killed at least two before I managed to figure out how to bind it.Strangely enough, this magical guy spends most of his time updating his livejournal with "you are...." quizzes.
The last one, from "Lord BlueKnight" says "i dont know if this is a hoax or not". Erhm.... where is the hoax? The story clearly states "... how to prevent it from loading automatically". Not completely clear maybe, but they obviously didn't follow the link.
I wonder if there are a bunch of @msn, @hotmail and @aol peole just sitting waiting anxiously for someone to send them hotmail email addresses.
(Just kidding, it's a joke ok?)
Love the ufies site."
Found via the same blog (next post) comes this video which really has to be seen to be understood. Very safe for work, very amusing, and originally found by Scoble apparently. I don't see the post in reference, but hey, Scoble is a cool guy with a neat blog, even if he is a Microserf :)
Q: I AM A WHITE MALE. CAN I STILL BE PC?and many more
Sure. You just have to feel very guilty.
16 REASONS WHY ALCOHOL SHOULD BE SERVED AT WORK...
The Audiophile: He claims he forgot his headphones, but we all know he won�t play without his sub-woofer. Characteristics: Every sound in every game can be heard from his direction louder than anyone�s headphones will allow.and many more...
My faves from JOS so far are:
Vim: it's like software that's 95% easter eggs
Always code as if the person who ends up maintaining your code will be a violent psychopath who knows where you live.
This is a bit different than my buddy foz's technique of calling the person on the other end of the phone a @#$@$^@#$@ and a !@#&*&&*( and then a @#$^(*&$#, asking if they are paid to take abuse, and asking to get forwarded to someone who is (repeat as needed, until your CDROM gets fixed).
A good read nonetheless. Something to think of next time you need to avoid the "check your control panel and reboot" answers.
The only time I've ever heard of any problem with credit card signatures was when I was down in Yosemite many years ago and was on the phone and overheard the young guy on the phone next to me telling someone (parents? relative) how he had denied someone a purchase because he didn't belive the signature was legit. That's it. Sometimes I will jokingly ask "that close enough?" when I hand back the credit card slip, and generally get a "sure" or polite smile that one reserves for people who ride the short bus but who are on a field trip.
Yes, I know I'm going to hell for this...
They call it an Irish joke, but it's not really IMHO. Don't read if you're easily offended, but if you're not, it's quite amusing. Read more for the joke....
LOVE THE IRISH
" Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been with a loose woman."
The priest asks, "Is that you, little Tommy Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father, it is." "And, who was the woman you were with?"
"Sure and I can't be tellin' you, Father. I don't want to ruin her
"Tell me, Tommy, I'm sure to find out sooner or later, so you may as well
tell me now.
Was it Brenda O'Malley?" "I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Kelly?"
"I'll never tell." "Was it Liz Shannon?"
"I'm sorry, but I can't name her."
"Was it Cathy Morgan?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona McDonald, then?" "Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're a steadfast lad, Tommy Shaughnessy, and I admire that.
But you've sinned, and you must atone..
You cannot attend church for three months.
Be off with you now.."
Tommy walks back to his pew.
His friend Sean slides over and whispers, "What'd you get?"
"Three months vacation and five good leads," says Tommy.
2. The Holodeck.
I mean, it's cool and all. But do you really believe that people would use it to re-create Sherlock Holmes mysteries and old-west saloons? Come on, we all know what the holodeck would be used for. And we also know what the worst job on the Enterprise would be: Having to squeegie the holodeck clean.
The invention of the Internet has provided man with a new, powerful tool for world change and affectation, but if there is one thing I've learned, it's that mankind's greatest dream is not to solve world hunger or cure the common cold, it is to see naked chicks.
The other good site (I assume, it's been CNN'd) is http://www.welovetheiraqiinformationminister.com/ Can't wait to see what they have when they come up againl.